On my desk sits a relic of the past, a phone.  Every now and then, I receive a call on it.  Almost always a wrong number with someone looking for Real Estate Taxes.  I politely transfer the caller, after giving them the correct number.  They have usually dialed a 9 instead of a 6.  I hang up the phone.  Happy with myself.  Happy with customer service.  Happy to ignore my phone until the next time.  Happy to return to my life as a creature of email.

Today was going to be different.  I had two calls coming in.  Two calls related to my job.  Two calls that would be ideal for a conference call.  First call came in.  I exchanged pleasantries.  Second call came in.  I placed first call on hold.  Pushed “Conf” (thinking it meant “Conference”) and the first call promptly disappeared.  I talked to the person on Line Two.  Said hello, said I would try the conference again.  Pushed “Hold.”  Called back first person, after entering a six digit long distance code, and pressed “Conf,” which of course caused the person on Line Two to vanish.  I was becoming desperate.  Repeating different orders of buttons, but always losing the same two callers.  More than desperate, I was becoming pitiful.  After ten minutes of trying and a suggestion from one caller that I just speak with them one at a time, I gave up.  I had failed at 1980s technology.

Finishing up my calls and apologizing to the callers a lot, I searched for answers.  What had gone wrong?  Why was I a phone failure?  Finding the instructions for the phone online, I soon learned that my phone was a one-way ticket for conferencing.  I had to initiate the calls.  I could not receive them.  Not only did I have technology from the 1980s on my desk, it only operated one way.  Outbound.

The moral of the story?  You can’t go back, especially in terms of technology.  I read it on the internet.