Wanted: A grocery store shopping companion.  Must tolerate my incessant banter.  Will reward with a doughnut snack and a Hot Wheels car.  Apply online at www.CookiesbyDave.com.

There they go. The full set of Paulsen boys headed off to school.  This means plenty of time for me to contemplate contemplating a second part-time job, in addition to all of the daily tasks I used to do with my kids.  Typical tasks include laundry, home maintenance with my limited abilities, and groceries.  I have however found out that these tasks are different on your own.  Yep, it’s a new world.  I have been granted a whole new perspective.  This new perspective is mainly due to me standing upright.  I used to barrel around the store, hunched over listening to someone two feet shorter than me, while I explained my every move in advance.  “Okay, we got the yogurt.  Now, onto the bread aisle.  I promise that we are almost done.  Hold it together for another fifteen minutes.”  With a doughnut in hand, my boys and I would conquer the grocery store in a survivalist fashion.  Now, I need to slow down.  Look around and actually compare prices, rather than throwing the closest item, as fast as possible into my cart.

Standing upright, you notice new things. For instance, people tend to be less tolerant of my running around the store, when there is not a little person in my cart.  I also have to stop myself from talking to myself.  Also, passing the Hot Wheels cars, I really have no certainty as to which ones we have already purchased.  A brave new world.

Now, I can also go to multiple stores on the same shopping trip. Yes, cost savings, plus a chance to see new and exciting places.  The grocery store and Target in a single trip?  No problem.  Yep, new discoveries all around.  For instance, did you know that there are roving packs of moms in Target?  Yep, it’s true.  Looking up leads to all sorts of new observations…  and dangers.  Dangers such as one wrong turn, while looking for shampoo in Target, and you find yourself in the cosmetics aisle.  I have no problem with the concept of makeup on others, but I had no idea that the aisle housing these products was brighter than the sun.  Holy light bulbs, Batman!  I’ve been blinded!  Yep, this brave new world is not without dangers.  That’s why I’m looking for a new shopping companion, sort of safety in numbers.  Sure, I may talk to myself, but I promise to buy you a new Hot Wheels car.