As the waitress brought my drink, I could have sworn that she called me, “Kaiser.” I’ll admit that I was more than a tad confused, but I gladly accepted it. “Kaiser,” quite a title. An honor. Finally.

Happy about my new title, I told my friends. We were all confused, but still found it cool. I was now somebody. Officially. A Kaiser.

Soon she brought my friend a drink and get this, she also called him, “Kaiser.” Sure there was some confusion. Some interpreted her bestowed honor as “Kind Sir,” but I knew the truth. We were “Kaisers.” Pretty much a table full of highly respected dudes. Finally, someone noticed.

Then the waitress returned with something else. More bread or to take orders or something like that. Unfortunately, this time, she clearly addressed me as “Kind Sir.” Nope. No way. That would be nice, but certainly a step down. Nope, Kaiser. I liked it. I was gonna keep the title. No one could take it away now.

So next time you see me, don’t act different. Just give me a knowing glance. A smile and a nod. For now you know, your friend is special. More than a kind sir, a Kaiser. No doubt about it.