The Microwave: Your Gateway to Excitement

The other day, I was standing in front of the microwave at work, as it counted down the seconds. Then for some inexplicable reason, I reached out and stopped the timer at 0:01.  One second remaining, I stopped the process.  It was not that I wanted to get my beverage that much quicker.  It was not that I didn’t feel that second was essential to the heating process.  It was not even related to my mild dislike of the beeping sound that accompanies the microwave’s completion.  I have found that this habit has been formed from watching far too many movies where the protagonist must stop a bomb’s timer just before it explodes.

Yep, I may look like just another schmuck standing impatiently by the microwave, but in reality I am living out a harrowing childhood fantasy. Think James Bond defusing the bomb at the end of “Goldfinger,” where the countdown clock is stopped at 0:07.  Ha!  I beat that by six seconds on a daily basis.  So next time your day is plodding along at work, just think, you can play secret agent saving the world all just a few short steps away in the breakroom.  Plus, you end up with a hot beverage at the end or even popcorn, if you are super (spy) ambitious.

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Coincidently, this is exactly how I look at work, only minus the cigarette. Oh and located in the breakroom, instead.  Oh and far less Scottish.  Other than those things, this is exactly how I look at work.

This “Add Excitement to your Day” Tip has been brought to you by the Screen Writers Guild, recycling the same old defuse-the-bomb-with-only-one-second-remaining script, since 1933.

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