Don’t bother me with crime reports.

Statistics just don’t hold up.

How can I get absolute proof that our neighborhood is safe?

Load the kids into the car.  Drive to brunch.  Stay inside for about 45 minutes.  Return to find that your kids left the rear car door wide open.

There, free for the taking was an arm rest containing about $3 in pocket change (mostly pennies), a half empty metal Altoids container, and an old church bulletin.  Oh, someone really missed out.  They could have found Jesus, while using the Altoids box to run off with coins a plenty.

Keep your stats, I have some absent minded kids and enough money to buy a Gatorade to remind me that I can sleep safe and snug tonight.