Confession time. I never learned how to tie my shoes.  Never, as in ever.  I know how to tie shoes the cheater way, by making the two bunny ears and looping them around each other, so that they appear to be tied the normal way, but I never learned the right way.  I suspect that I just did not “get it,” as a child and in a desperate attempt to keep my laces from dragging on the ground, I was taught the cheater way.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  In theory, I know how to tie a shoe.  I could verbally explain the process pretty well, but in action, with my fingers, it all falls apart.  My Waterloo?  Perhaps.  My Achilles heel?  Closer.  Just plain pitiful?  Yep.

My inability to tie shoes does not really come up much. Sure, occasionally someone notices that I use the cheater method, but it is very rare.  There is however one instance in which my shoe lace ineptitude becomes painfully obvious…  Kindergarten.  Yep, my boys come home wanting to know how to tie their shoes and there starts my dilemma.  Do I try to teach them the right way and struggle through the process?  Or do I resort to teaching the cheater method?  Or do I make an excuse and wait for Charlene to come home?  In the past, I have avoided the cheater method fallback and have either waited for Charlene or struggled through the embarrassment of trying to teach my son something that I just for whatever reason cannot do.  The good news is that I have struggled past this phase with two of my boys and only one remains.  The bad news, one remains.

The other day, the moment came. 5-year-old Ben’s homework actually instructed him to practice tying his shoes.  Wondering if I could hire a tutor to help, I fearlessly dove fingers first into the challenge.  Acknowledging that I was not the best at tying my shoes (gross overstatement of my abilities), I tried to teach young Ben.  Well, we finished the exercise and he completed his homework, but the results made me sad.  Looking at the two shoes (one tied by me and the other by Ben), it was hard to tell which one I completed.  The good news, soon I will be done with this final challenge and I can live out my days quietly cheating, while I tie my shoes.  The bad news, some of my skill levels are nearly identical to those of my 5-year-old.

“My shoe” on the left and Ben’s on the right…

or was it the other way around?

Certainly, hard to tell.