Common sense tips that came to mind, after my morning’s presentation to a happy and receptive group.  This also helped me prepare for future groups, which may tend toward the opposite and rather grumpy end of the spectrum.

1) When the crowd is happy, they appreciate it when you open with a cute, almost folksy, tale.  When the crowd is grumpy, keep your presentation short.  Very short, but not too short as to show your fear.  Greater than 30 seconds and less than five minutes is optimal.

2) When the crowd is happy, it is okay to go off script and just chat.  When the crowd is grumpy, after you finish, it is okay to run.  Fast.

3) Giveaway items are always appreciated.  Just be prepared for the grumpy crowd to throw your promotional items at your head.

4) Always accept the offer of food.  It is the polite thing to do and you are often rewarded with a yummy meal.  When you are around the grumpy crowd, however, make sure that they take the first bite.

5) Use all of your silverware.  This morning, I used the edge of my fork, as a knife, even though I had a knife at my disposal.  This crowd was very friendly and there was no need for self-defense, so I should have used my knife on my pancakes.  Light and fluffy, they were no match for my superhuman strength, as I plunged the edge of my fork into the pancake in a swift cutting motion.  Crack!  I lifted up my fork to see that my testosterone had apparently spiked and the fork’s right tine had snapped off.  “Boy, this bureaucrat is serious,” all those around me thought, “Best not upset him.  I notice he is holding his utensils a little too tight.”  Well, needless to say, the broken fork showed that my message was not to be taken lightly.  Plus, when I flipped my fork over and cut with the other side, it showed my advanced problem solving skills.  Still, take it from me, always use all of your silverware.  It shows the grumpy crowd that you are civilized, as they plot your downfall.

My wounded fork and underutilized knife. 

My wounded fork and underutilized knife displayed in a cool blurry fashion.  Oh so chic.