As the stressful holiday season nears its pinnacle, here’s a post of pure levity. Not to be taken seriously.  Not to be dwelled upon.  Just fun.  Okay, agreed upon.  Just fun.  And partially inspired by the Miss Universe scandal.  Ah, beautiful and talented women battling in too close to call battles for a crown.  Sit back and enjoy.  Here we go…

One of the unexpected benefits of our new home: it came with a television in the kitchen.  I know!  Awesome!  Well, this has led to me enjoying the Food Network, while making lunch, baking cookies, washing dishes, or any related activity.

The other day, as I made lunch for the boys, I became annoyed as they kept changing the channel from the Food Network to ESPN or much to my annoyance, the Disney Channel. To make matters worse, Giada was on TV.  As I grew more and more annoyed, my 12-year-old son recognized the source of my angst (in addition to the painful canned laughter on the Disney Channel), “Dad thinks she’s cute.”  Yes, I think Giada is cute.  There it is out there.  I’m a man and Giada is cute, so sue me.

Seeing that the Giada remark hit a little too close to home, I challenged them, “So who do I find more cute, Rachael Ray or Giada?” In unison, they answered, “Giada!”  Ugh, they obviously know too much.  Although a close battle, Giada knows baking.  Advantage:  Giada.

Seeing that they were growing a little arrogant, I challenged them. “Here’s another battle, Catwoman or Poison Ivy?”  In unison, “Catwoman!”  Oh dear, they really can read me.  Sure Poison Ivy has a passion for saving the Earth, but Catwoman.  Oh, Catwoman (sigh).  Obviously the outfit, but she’s sassy, resourceful, strong, and smart.  Very little to dislike, other than her evil streak.  Advantage:  Catwoman.

The tension mounting, I offered up, “Black Widow or Wonder Woman?” “Black Widow!”  Okay, so that was a softball, but Wonder Woman is a wonder.  Still, Black Widow (sigh).  Kick butt, talented, resourceful, acrobatic , and of course, part of the theme, the costume.  Advantage:  Black Widow.

Then the hardest of them all, “Padmé (from the ‘Star Wars’ prequels) or Jane from ‘Thor’?” With delight and a sly grin, Jacob highlighted the challenge, “They are the same actress (Natalie Portman).”  Then they stated with confidence, “Padmé!”  Going into deep reflection, I considered the arguments.  Padmé, she has the costume.  Jane, she’s incredibly smart (an astrophysicist or some such thing).  But here’s the kicker, Jane is older, more mature.  The boys are not yet old enough to appreciate this point.  Advantage:  Jane.

Now, before I am awarded with the “Worst Father Ever” for this conversation, let me point something out. All of the women in the conversation are incredibly smart, talented, and (sigh)…  cute.  Just like my wife.  Case closed.