For a long time now, I have had a bum toe. A two weeks ago, I finally decided to get it fixed once and for all.
Sounded like a good idea. Fix the toe, while it was cold out and I did not want to be real active anyway. Have the toe fixed so that I could start exercising all fresh and vigorous during the New Year. Yes, this may even be an actual good plan. The problem is that it hurt awfully bad getting it fixed, but hey, no pain, no gain.
After several days, the pain started to die down and the toe only hurt, when touching the stitches. Plus, I only had four days until the stitches would be removed and I would be a new man. Almost there. Ugly toe almost fixed. Plan almost successfully enacted.
Well, as I hobbled around the house, I thought I would be a good man and help carry a storage bin downstairs for my wife. It was a simple task. Take a light box full of old gift bags, tissue paper, and wrapping paper pieces that she had been using to wrap gifts in the bedroom and carry it downstairs to the storage room. A simple task. A good deed. The right thing for a home bound man in a toe recovery unit to do.
Carrying the box down the carpeted stairs, I saw a piece of blue tissue paper float out of the box and land gently on the stairs. Being all, “I Could Participate in a Decathlon” confident, I started to turn around to pick up the paper. Then in a blur, my feet took flight, I mumbled something like “This is what death looks like” and I crashed simultaneously on the bottom stair, as well as into the wall at the bottom of the stairs. My right elbow hit the stairs, my bandaged toe hit the wall, my much in need of exercise body struck the Earth with tremendous force, and the box of wrapping paper seemed to be just fine.
Staring up at the seldom viewed ceiling above the bottom step, I let out a sad groan. Less out of pain and more out of prolonged agony. Ugly toe was so close to having been fixed. Ugh, when the ugly toe. So close, but some might say, just a foot short.
Postscript – No worries, faithful readers (all eight of you). Ugly toe continues to be on the mend and Operation “Make Dave Great Again” (patent pending, gosh I hope no one has used a similar sounding phrase in the recent past) continues toward 2017 Exercise Resolution glory. Farewell ugly toe, you sure know how to go out with a bang.