As I attempted to hurry 7-year-old Sam and 6-year-old Ben into the Y Center for swim classes on a super-duper-cold-wind-chill-well-below-zero night, I began to worry about their directional abilities.

First they headed well off target, as we entered the building. Next, they needed two course corrections upon exiting.

I began to consider what was causing these problems, as all I wanted to do was hurry from the car inside and back again.

Possibility One – They are developing an elaborate route to and from the building, in the event someone or something is tracking them. Paranoia.

Possibility Two – They randomly travel in straight lines from place to place, unless something or someone gets their attention. Behavior normally associated with the ghosts on Pac-Man.

Possibility Three – The further the temperature drops, the less common sense they exhibit. Not a good sign for long term survival in Minnesota’s permafrost landscape.

Possibility Four – Good ol’ directional impairment, where they demonstrate an enhanced ability to turn off their brains. Hereditary source, passed on from their father.

I’m thinking Number 4, but you be the judge…

Exhibit A (my first and only exhibit)

I rest my case.