A moment of silence, please.

Today, we remember the sacrifice of our diet pop.  In the sub-zero garage, they bravely played the role of a canary in the coal mine.  Through their passing, countless beers were saved.

Thank you, diet soda.  We toast your valor with one hand over our heart and an icy cold craft brew, in the other.

Six-by-six, they braved the cold.

Six-by-six, the cold won.