Here we are entering the final week of the season and things are really heating up in the race to the bottom.

The Baltimore Poorioles and the Arizona Take-em-backs are knotted at 106 loses. A fine total for any all-time epically bad team, but these contenders have more to give, including wins to actual pennant contenders.

As for the Poorioles, they face the Red Sox and Blue Jays, both needing wins, while our fearless contestants, the Poorioles simply want to survive. Live another day. Hope this quality of play actually counts toward their service time.

And how about Cedric “Why Must I Suffer Here” Mullins? Trapped in a Poorioles uniform, while he struggles not to show up his teammates too much. Yep, he has 30 homers, 30 stolen bases, and has a batting average of… .299?!? Really, one point off from a 30/30/.300 mind altering moment. Give us one more point, buddy. Please. What a showoff, sort of. Sort of like the Poorioles are a major league team, sort of.

Hold it right there! Don’t give the Poorioles the title just yet, because we have the Take-em-backs, a fearsome bunch with star players such as Madison Bumgarner, who by the way will certainly not be pitching in the World Series this year, which I am sure makes Bumgarner mad like a well Mad-Bum (fitting), but I disgress. The Take-em-backs have star fire power such as Bumgarner and well, that’s it. Zero. Zilch. Nadda. Nothing. In fact, their leading homerun hitter according to www.mlb.com is Eduardo Escobar with 22 homeruns for the Brewers. What?!? In a cost saving move, did they fire their stats guy, as well?

Well, the Take-em-backs are scheduled to face the Giants, who need wins, and the Rockies, who need to figure out who will still play for them, after they trade Trevor Story in the offseason.

So there you have it, a battle to the bottom. Right now based on strength of schedule, the Poorioles seem to have the edge, er disadvantage, and the pity of the nation.

See you in one week, to reflect on this season’s winner, er loser.

My condolences to the Twins (insert your own “double” joke), Paingers, Senators, and Pie-rats. You did a fine job losing and maybe next year will be your time, but for now, look on and commence with trading whatever you have left.

And it seems fitting to say, “My apologies to Steve Harvey” (a.k.a the brilliant Los Angeles Times sportswriter who authored “The Bottom 10”).