Tax Preparation High – You find the random last piece of paper needed to complete your taxes.

Tax Preparation Low – You cannot find where to enter the information in TurboTax.

#LifeShouldBeEasierThanThis

I fully expected to enter the sporting goods store being the old man that says, “When I was a kid, we didn’t need to buy new baseball bats.  We used sticks that found in the woods.”

When I saw this however…

…I became the guy that says, “Wait!  Look at that!  I have to take a picture of that weird looking maniquine.”

 

Driving my 14-year-old to school, I noticed that his breakfast was perched on his lap.  My boy was eating a bowl of dry mini wheats.

As we drove, he continued to eat the bowl of mini wheats, one at a time.  Pulling into the car line, it became obvious that he would have a lot of mini wheats remaining, upon exiting the car.

Grabbing his backpack, he asked, “So what do you think, Dad, should I carry in the bowl?”

Showing the wisdom of my age, I responded, “Only if you want to be known as ‘Mini Wheats.'”

Smiling, he placed the bowl onto the passenger seat, grabbed a huge handful of mini wheats, and stuffed as many as possible into his front pocket.  “Bye, Dad.  Love you,” he said as he casually strolled toward school with $4 worth of breakfast cereal in his trousers.

As I drove away, I had only one thought.  “Boy, you have made me proud.”

 

 

Heading out to dinner, I asked which car we should take.  My wife selected her car and I asked why.

“Your car is old,” she said.

“It still works fine,” I responded.

Wife, “It makes funny noises.”

Me, “Only when I turn on the AC and in Minnesota, that’s only two months of the year.”

Wife, “It has 160,000 miles.”

Me, “That’s only middle aged for a car.”

Wife, “I have trouble sitting in it to drive.  The driver’s seat has molded around your butt.”

Valid point, no car should fit like a pair of skinny jeans and no man should ever argue until that card is played.

 

“No News Today”

The Sunday paper rests in its pulpy grandeur

Its contents fresh, but nearly the same as always

A recycled tribute to every day that has ever been

No energy to even glance, you let the world simmer without you today

 

At lunch, some co-workers and I usually go to the gym.  There we tend to see a man that I will call Mike, even though his real name is much more exotic.  Dare I say, Italian?  Fine, for this post, he shall be “Italian Mike.”

We see Italian Mike in passing, exchange a few pleasantries, and go on our way.  Over time, you pick up a few things.  Italian Mike eats lunch in the hospital cafeteria.  Italian Mike once made a reference to a chiropractor.  Italian Mike once said something that hinted that he attends church.  Plus, he seems like a really nice guy.  All of these random pieces of information has led to speculation about Italian Mike’s profession.

A doctor?  A chiropractor?  A pastor?  Who knew?  We needed more information, so I asked.

Turns out, Italian Mike works for an office supply company.  All well and good, but nothing like the back story that our imaginations had developed.  We were disappointed in ourselves and no fault of his own, we were a little disappointed in Italian Mike’s honesty.

Well, just so happens that a few weeks later, I ran into Italian Mike again at the gym.  The exchanging of our pleasantries went fine, random small talk went fine, I made a reference to work, and Italian Mike asked, “Are you a lawyer?” “No,” I replied.  “I’m sort of an internal consultant.”

Italian Mike looked sort of sad at my reality.  I love my job, but I should have lied.  After all, there’s a fictitious version of myself out there that I need to keep real in the eyes of life’s many Italian Mikes.

 

 

At work, I snack on Cheerios.  Yes, I apparently have the palate of a two-year-old, but they are a healthy snack and they have yet to drive my cube neighbors mad with crunching, so win (and congrats to you for making it through this crazy long run-on sentence).

Well yesterday, I noticed a large amount of Cheerio dust had accumulated in my computer keyboard.  Yes, apparently I have trouble getting the entire handful of Cheerios into my mouth (#OfficeSlob).

So I leaned over, blew the Cheerio dust out of my keyboard, and went to sit up.  That’s when my work lanyard caught on the side of my desk and almost decapitated me (honest, I wish oat dust was the only danger I live with).

Folks, the moral of the story is this, sometimes it’s downright hazardous to eat healthy (and you certainly can over use parentheses to tack in an extra thought or two).

 

Welcome Foot Cooker – YouTube will never be the same.

In today’s episode, Foot Cooker delivers.

 

In the middle of the night, I felt a hand touch my shoulder.  Charlene had reached out in her sleep.  It seemed to be a touch of reassurance.  A touch to tell her that I was there by her side.

I smiled.  A smile reflecting the joy it has been to be beside her for many a year.  Many a year filled with happiness and sorrow.  Adventure and mundane.  Sunny days and chilly nights.  Many a year by her side and I would not have it any other way.

So “Happy Birthday,” my dear.  Thank you for being you.  We would not have it any other way.

BIRTHDAY WAFFLE CAKE

“Decadent meets breakfast meets birthday.  What a perfect way to celebrate her day.”

15.25 ounce box Chocolate Cake Mix, plus ingredient list on box

2 cups Freeze-Dried Raspberries (I found them at Target)

1/4 cup Powdered Sugar

1/2 cup Mascarpone Cheese

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1 cup Heavy Cream

1/2 bag Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

1/2 cup Raspberries

Preheat the waffle maker.

Prepare the box of chocolate cake mix and use it in place of waffle batter.

Make your waffles and set aside.

Using a food processor, combine the freeze-dried raspberries and powdered sugar.  Pulverize them into dust.

Add the mascarpone cheese, vanilla extract, and 1 cup of heavy cream into the food processor.  Pulverize to combine.  Set aside.

Place the semi-sweet chocolate chips and 1/2 cup heavy cream into a bowl.  Microwave in 30 second intervals, while stirring in between, until completely melted.  Set aside.

Note that the height of your waffle cake will depend on the size of your waffles, so stack until you have just enough raspberry filling to top the cake.

Place one waffle on a plate.

Top the waffle with raspberry filling, but leave an empty circle in the middle.

Fill the circle with some of the microwaved chocolate ganache.

Top with another waffle and repeat, until you have just enough raspberry filling to top the final waffle.

Place the fresh raspberries on the top waffle.

Drizzle with some of the remaining ganache.

Dust with powdered sugar.

Top with candles, light the candles, sing Happy Birthday, and enjoy!

 

Serves about 5.

Revised Source:  “Chocolate-Raspberry Waffle Cake” recipe on www.foodnetwork.com.

 

“Thin Mint Yearning”

I want to have you, taste you

But the calendar has turned

Minty crunch gone

Only memories, crumbs haunt my mind

Thin Mint desire unfulfilled