My boys, “Dad, we found a claw in the backyard.”
Me, unfazed, “I suppose it was part of the dead bird that I saw back there, the other day.”
My boys, responding with more unfaziedness, “Yeah, we put it on the picnic table.”
Okay, now I’m fazed. Well played, boys. Well played.
CINNAMON BLUEBERRY DUMP CAKE
When you accidentally forget to take a photo and need to resort to an extreme close-up to compensate.
“So glad that Spring has finally arrived and so ready to throw any remnants of Winter into the dump. Well, this cake will do the trick. Easy to make with a powerful blueberry burst to boot. You’ll have forgotten about Winter before the snow melts. Enjoy!”
24 ounces Blueberries (if frozen to start, bring to room temperature)
1/3 cup Sugar
1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon
15 ounce package Yellow Cake Mix
3/4 cup Butter
1/4 teaspoon Cinnamon
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Spread the blueberries into a greased 13″x9″ baking pan.
Top with the sugar and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and toss to coat.
Top with yellow cake mix.
Thinly slice the butter and cover the top of the cake mix.
Sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon.
Bake 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
Makes about 12 servings.
Revised Source: “Blueberry Cinnamon Cake” recipe in “Dump Cakes & One-Bowl Baking” by Publications International, Ltd.
Charlene and I have been married a long time. My patient and loving wife puts up with a lot from me, so I try to make the task easier for her.
Example of the Night – My tendency to text “Headed home” and then make 18 stops along the way. Sure I arrive two hours later, but technically I was “headed home.” Yep, poor Charlene is married to somewhat of an absent minded fool.
Solution? Well, I could actually head home, but that would be too adult for my tastes. Instead, when I am actually headed home, directly home, I text, “Headed straight home :0)”
Yep, that’s a smiley face added onto the end to help apologize for my past timing sins.
Yep, I’m a bit of a dope, but I can change. Change with an extra smiley face to boot.
Striking up a conversation, my 11-year-old son Sam began, “Dad, you know how there were lots of theories about the end of the world? The Mayan calendar, 1999, and then there was yesterday…”
Wait! Stop right there! You mean to tell that the world was supposed to end yesterday and I didn’t even know? Horrible. Especially, because I certainly would have had a special dessert the night before.
Dessert, before disaster. No better way to ring in the end times.
At the gym, my assignment was simple. Rotate the heavy kettlebell around my head six times. Change direction. Repeat.
No problem, I thought.
Rotation one. Fine.
Rotation two. Slower.
Rotation three. Getting very tired. Rotations getting weaker. Orbit closer to my head.
Then, bounce! The kettlebell had clipped the back of my head. Just a tiny bounce. Really, no pain. Something about a “hard head.”
Those around me looked startled. The bounce must have made a noise, too.
No really, I’m fine, I assured them. Fine, with the exception of a little wounded pride. That part really hurt.
When you love snowmen, but it’s April 17 and you just wish that they would begone.
“Blizzard We Join”
Adrift
Vulnerable
Temporary
Landing
Beauty fleeting
Joining all before
CHOCOLATE DROPS
“What better to raise your energy level during a Spring blizzard, than to bake a batch of ultra-chocolaty cookies? These tasty morsels deliver with a crunch of sunflowers and a dominance of chocolate. Enjoy, because you will make it to Summer. I promise.”
1/2 cup Sunflower Butter (or Peanut Butter)
1/8 cup Canola Oil
3/8 cup Brown Sugar
1/4 cup Sugar
1 Egg
1/2 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract
1/2 cup Flour
3 Tablespoons Cocoa Powder (a little extra won’t hurt, either)
1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1/4 cup Mini Chocolate Chips
1/4 cup Sunflower Seeds (can substitute chopped peanuts)
1/2 Tablespoon Crisco
1/4 cup Mini Chocolate Chips
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cream sunflower butter, canola oil, brown sugar, and sugar.
Mix in eggs and vanilla extract.
Mix in the flower, baking cocoa, baking soda, and salt.
Stir in 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips and sunflower seeds.
Drop rounded Tablespoon sized balls of dough onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Flatten slightly.
Bake for 8 minutes. Make sure to monitor the bottoms of the cookies to ensure that they do not burn.
Cool completely on wire rakes.
While cookies are cooling, microwave together the Crisco and remaining 1/4 cup of mini chocolate chips until melted and smooth.
Drizzle over cooled cookies and pray for warm weather.
Makes about 30 cookies.
Revised Source: “Chocolate Peanut Butter Drops” recipe in “Taste of Home Cookies.”
Confession time. Fridays are a timing challenge. If I work until exactly 4:47 and then race to my car, I can usually make it to spin class and just miss the warm up.
Friday, I tried my best, but I left at 4:48.12. Rats! My timing was off. Still, I hurried, filled my water bottle, changed, and ran to class.
Entering, I saw the rest of the class beginning their workout. I slunk toward a bike feeling like a tardy chump. That’s when the instructor smiled and she said with delight, “There’s my rock star!”
No matter how my workout was going to go, I was a rock star at the gym. Personal best, achieved.
Yep me, I know it’s hard to believe. A Gym Rock Star! I certainly have come a long way, even on a stationary bike.
This year at work, my resolution was to go digital. No paper starting January 1. If paper crossed my desk, it was scanned. Most important, however, was to take notes on my office laptop. Great idea. Worthy endeavor. Only one problem, technology wise, I sometimes find myself stuck in the ’90s.
Exhibit A – Microsoft Notepad. Yes, I often take notes in Notepad. If you have never seen Notepad, don’t bother. It’s a product of 1996, but I find it quick and easy to use. My co-workers are often shocked to see such a dinosaur (Notepad and maybe me) appear in a meeting. Mockery ensues and I ask, “What should I use instead?”
Recognizing that I am probably not prepared for a complete jump into 2018, my colleagues have suggested a baby step: Microsoft OneNote. Okay, one problem, OneNote needed one person from IT to spend one minute unlocking it on my one computer. What was one to do?
So a Help Desk ticket was filed for OneNote to be installed and today was the day that IT arrived to make it happen. I was going to do it. I was finally entering 2K.
As I watched, IT began the installation and… the building lights went out. Seriously. Complete building power failure. It was as if the present said, “Dave, nice try, but get your ass back to 1990.”
As I began to weep softly in the corner of my cube, power was restored. A friend messaged me from the other side of the building to say the we were on generator power. The grid was holding on by a string.
It appears as if my entry into the 21st century had been approved on a trial basis. I would need to prove myself to be allowed to stay. Honest, I promise to behave. You can write that down in Word and save it in the cloud. This 1990s boy can reboot, just wait and see.