I’m pretty sure that Hall of Fame manager Connie Mack never had to make a lineup, while…

1) the dog was barking,

2) his kids were running around,

3) the door bell was ringing,

and 4) the washing machine chimes were calling.

Little League managers, I’m pretty sure we deserve a pay raise.

Helping with my son’s baseball practice, the coach needed some help in the field.  Players would take turns hitting.  If they swung and missed or hit a pop fly out, they would be out of the game and go to the field.  If they got a hit, they could keep batting.  Last hitter remaining would win the game.

Soon a ball came to me, a soft liner.  I squeezed the ball, then let it drop.  I let the kid survive.  Seeing my strategy, another dad looked at me with a grin and said, “I would not have been that nice.”  Well, maybe not, but I sure felt good and the player smiled knowing that he had been given a second chance.

A few batters later, a high pop fly headed my way.  With the ball flying lazily through the air, I camped under the ball.  I remembered a lesson that the head coach was trying to teach the kids, call for the ball.  In a loud voice and with arms waiving, I shouted, “I got it!  I got it!”  The ball landed safely in my mitt.  Perfect execution.  Perfect illustration of how to catch a pop fly.  I smiled.  I smiled and trotted toward the mound to return the ball.  I trotted toward the mound and handed the ball to the pitcher.  I handed the ball to the pitcher and remembered that I had forgotten to drop the ball.  I had demonstrated how to catch a pop fly, but I had forgotten to give another kid a second chance.

I even forgot to check and see which kid I had accidentally removed from the game.  I guessed that it was the kid standing in the field, who looked like he was ready to cry.  Second chances, I hoped that I would eventually be eligible.  Lesson learned?  Sometimes dads forget, even when they remember.

Going into baseball practice, my body was feeling kind of old.  Creaky knee.  Sore leg.  Tired upper body.  You get the idea.

Thankfully, after a few minutes of playing catch with the kids and running around a little, I was beginning to feel limbered up.

Then came team huddle time.  As I jogged toward the group all I heard was, “Here, Dad.” Followed by a white flash that landed with a hard thud on my toe.

Nothing like a wayward throw to bring a guy back to Earth.  Nothing like a child’s game to bring your age back into perspective.

Sometimes you need to brag a little.

Sometimes you need to show off.

Sometimes you actually get your kid to baseball practice four minutes early.

“What?!?,” you say, “David, four minutes early?!?”

Yep and as far as I know, Hell didn’t freeze over and the Earth is still turning on its axis.

Yes, Virginia, miracles do happen and yes, sometimes Dave is on time.

The car cut in front of me.  No warning.  Nothing.

I slammed on the brakes.  Everything in the car shifted.  I stopped well short.

No worries.  Well one.  My lunch.  My poor, poor lunch had fell to the floor.

A hard drop.  A sad landing.

One other note.  When did my car’s backseat get so dirty?  Okay, one other note.  Does any food ever reach the mouths of my children?  If yes, why are all of these crumbs on the floor?

Crumbfest 2018 – Backseat Gathering

When the Wi-Fi goes down and all you can think about is the need to get out the Little League team’s snack schedule.  Then you remember, “Oh, dear!  My blog post!  This Wi-Fi trouble is going to jeopardize my evening’s blog post!”

What’s that you hear?  Cobble, cobble, cobble.  Dave is cobbling together a quick blog post.

There.  Done.  Book it.  Take that grumpy Wi-Fi.  The evening post is done.  Sure the quality suffered (a lot), but I did it.  Roughing it, Modern Age style.

S’MORES CHIP COOKIES

“Walking through Cub, I made a wondrous find.  For 50 cents, a bag of “Hershey’s S’mores” baking pieces.  A blend of little Lucky Charms like marshmallows, micro graham crackers, and chocolate chips, this mixture will surely remind you of summer.  Soft cookie happiness doesn’t have to cost a lot.  If you are lucky, only 50 cents.”

3/4 cup Butter

3/4 cup Brown Sugar

1 Egg

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1 3/4 cup Flour

1 teaspoon Baking Soda

1/4 teaspoon Salt

1 bag Hershey’s S’mores baking pieces

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream the butter and brown sugar.

Mix in the egg and vanilla extract.

Mix in the flour, baking soda, and salt.

Mix in the S’mores baking pieces.

Drop Tablespoon sized balls of dough onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 8 minutes or until the cookie bottoms have browned.

Makes about 40 cookies.

Revised Source:  “S’mores Pieces Cookies” back of the “Hershey’s S’mores” bag recipe.

Four showers in one day.  Excessive perhaps; justifiable, we shall see.

Shower One – 7AM – Pre Run Club…  sorry, but I am showering before the run, in order to stay in the club.

Shower Two – 9:30AM – Post Run Club…  self explanatory gift to all those around me.

Shower Three – 2:30PM – Post Coaching 9-year-old son’s baseball game on a dusty field and Pre Assisting with 11-year-old son’s baseball game…  please, get over the fantasy that major leaguers don’t shower between games of a double header.  I am guessing that millionaires like to be clean.  Just a guess, but I bet I’m right.

Shower Four – 7:30PM – Post Emergency Umpire Duty during the Second Game, which took place on that same dusty field…  just being able to wash off those scornful looks that every ump receives is reason enough.

BANTHA MILK

“Celebrate Star Wars Day (May the Fourth) with a drink that would make Aunt Beru proud.  This Bantha Milk is creamy and blue, with a taste of bananas that will make you forget all about that pesky Tattooine sand.  Enjoy!”

2 cups Coconut Milk

1/4 cup Non-Fat Greek Yogurt

2 Bananas

2 teaspoons Honey

1 scoop Vanilla Flavored Protein Powder

5 drops Blue Food Coloring

Add all of the ingredients to a food processor.

Pulverize until well blended.

Enjoy in the light of two suns.

Makes about 2 servings.

Revised Source:  “Star Wars Blue Milk” recipe on https://inspired.disney.co.uk/cook/star-wars-blue-milk/

While watching my son’s track meet, I realized that he has already surpassed my highest jump (which was about 10 inches above the ground, before gravity pulled my sad vessel of flesh and bones crashing back to earth).