Now, let me begin by saying that I would not change clothes in a Jimmy John’s parking lot.  Well, at least not without a very good reason.

Let me further clarify that it was the far corner of the parking lot.  A far corner with no one around.

Plus, I changed clothes Freaky Fast, so no harm.  Especially since I was huddled down low, really almost on my back.  So no potential observers, no foul.

Really, it was justified, because I really didn’t want to wear work clothes to a ballgame, even though they were Casual Day work clothes.  Still shorts were more appropriate to wear, so really it was worth it.

Worth the worry.  Worth the sandwich that I purchased to feel less guilty for using the far corner of their parking lot for such a purpose.  Worth it just to know that I can still shimmy in such ways.

 

It’s almost like it’s talking to me.  Drawing me closer.  Begging my interest.

It’s almost as if the smiley face on our window is saying, “Wash me.”

 

Just got to thinking, what is a fruit size lover?

SARLACC CAKE

“Don’t worry.  No real bounty hunters were harmed during the making of this blog post.”

“Looking for just the right dessert to celebrate the new Han Solo movie?  Looking for just the right cake to punish your favorite bounty hunter?  Looking for just the right cake for a Star Wars themed birthday party (Here’s looking at you, Nathan Hanson)?

Well, we’ve got just the bundt cake recipe for you.  Turns out like a caramel flavored coffee cake that will make you want to stand up to Jabba the Hutt and make a run to Kessel.  Enjoy, because I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

Bundt Cake Ingredients
1 cup Butter
3/4 cup Sugar
3/4 cup Brown Sugar
3 Eggs
1 Tablespoon Vanilla Extract
3 cups Flour
1 1/2 teaspoons Baking Powder
3/4 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 teaspoon Salt
1 cup Buttermilk

Madeline Ingredients
8 Tablespoon Butter
1/2 cup Biscoff Cookies
2 Eggs
2/3 cup Brown Sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons Vanilla Extract
1/8 teaspoon Salt
1/2 cup Flour
1/4 teaspoon Baking Powder
Pinch of Cinnamon

Decorations
8 ounces of Biscoff Cookies
Jar of Caramel Sauce
Container of Vanilla Frosting

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Grease and flour a bundt cake pan. Set aside.
Cream the butter, sugar, and brown sugar.
Mix in the eggs and vanilla extract. Set aside.
Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
Alternate mixing in the “Flour Mixture” and buttermilk.
Pour batter into prepared bundt cake pan.
Bake for 35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Place pan onto wire rack and allow to cool for 20 minutes.
Turn upside down and remove cake. Set aside and allow to cool completely.

Increase oven temperature to 375 degrees.
Melt 8 Tablespoons of butter and set aside to cool.
Using a food processor, grind the Biscoff Cookies into crumbs.
Grease and flour a madeline pan. Set aside.
Mix together the eggs and brown sugar.
Mix in the vanilla extract and salt.
Mix in the flour, baking powder, and cinnamon.
Mix in the melted and cooled butter.
Set aside 1/4 cup of batter.
Place a Tablespoon of batter into each prepared madeline mold.
Bake for 12 minutes or until lightly browned.
Cool in pan for two minutes, before removing from pan.
Allow pan to cool. Grease and flour pan again, prior to next batch.
Set aside madelines.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Take remaining 1/4 cup of madeline batter and place in a plastic bag.
Cut a small hole in one corner of the plastic bag and pipe several thin lines of batter onto the parchment paper.
Watch closely and bake until golden brown.
Allow these “tentacles” to cool completely on the pan.

Using food processor, grind remaining 8 ounces of Biscoff Cookies into a fine crumbs. Set aside.
Heat caramel sauce in a microwave. Set aside.
Use frosting to make “teeth” on two madelines. Set aside.
Drizzle caramel sauce over cooled bundt cake.
Top with about 6 ounces of Biscoff Cookie crumbs.
Fill center of cake half full with frosting.
Cover frosting in center of cake with remaining Biscoff Cookie crumbs.
Form spikes around inner portion of cake using frosting.
Insert two decorated madelines to form the Sarlacc’s mouth.
Insert tentacles around mouth.
For fun, place a desperate Boba Fett into the Sarlacc’s mouth.
Enjoy!

Makes about 12 servings.

Revised Source: “Star Wars Sarlacc Bundt Cake” recipe on www.yummycrumble.com.

 

The pain of knocking your head into a cabinet door.

The pain in knowing that it was all your fault.

The pain in answering the humiliating question of “Dad, why do you have an ice pack on your head?” over and over and over again.

The pain you are being, when you still insist on driving your family to the ballgame, while looking like a fool, because you have an ice pack on your stubborn ass head.

The pain and embarrassment the you feel, when you decide to sit in the car and miss the first two innings, because ice packs just ain’t fashionable enough for public consumption.

By the way, “Dad, why do you have an ice pack on your head?” The pain, it’s back.

 

RHUBARB MUFFINS

“Yummy, soft, and a taste of Summer.  Enjoy!”

 

Muffin Ingredients

1/2 cup Brown Sugar

1/4 cup Butter

1 cup Sour Cream

2 Eggs

1 1/2 cups Flour

3/4 teaspoon Baking Soda

1/2 teaspoon Cinnamon

1 1/2 cups Rhubarb, fresh and chopped

Topping Ingredients

1 teaspoon Cinnamon

2 Tablespoon Sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cream the brown sugar and butter.

Mix in the sour cream and eggs.

Mix in the flour, baking soda, and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon.

Mix in the rhubarb.

Spoon into a greased muffin tin.  Set aside.

Mix together the cinnamon and sugar for the topping.

Spoon the topping onto the muffin batter.

Bake for 25 minutes.

Let cool for 10 minutes and remove the muffins from the tin.

 

Makes 12 muffins.

Revised Source:  “Sour Cream Rhubarb Muffins” recipe on www.geniuskitchen.com.

 

Quick trip to the grocery store.  Looks like all that I’ll need is a basket.

Newspaper.  Into the basket (because I am old).

Bagged Spinach.  Into the basket (don’t worry, the leaves really do disappear within a smoothie).

Bananas.  Into the basket (place on top, don’t bruise the ‘nanas).

Coffee Beans.  Into the basket (my wife wanted yummy coffee and I spy a new flavor…  what a guy, what a trip to the store).

More Smoothie Fixings.  All into the basket (Flax Milk, Greek Yogurt, Frozen Cherries, oh my).

In line, I spot 24 bottles of water.  Those will be great for the Little League team.  I hoist them onto the conveyor belt.

Turn in the basket.  Pay.  Begin to bag the groceries.  Suddenly realize that I don’t have a cart to bring my purchases to the car.  No worries.  I carried it all around the store, so I can certainly carry my goodies to the car.

After all, I am a man, spelled M-A-N.

Lifting my groceries, I remember that I didn’t carry the 24 bottles of water through the store.  They were a last minute edition.  No worries, I can somehow figure out how to fit all of this my into my hands.  I am sure that I can.

After all, I am a man, spelled D-U-M.

 

The evening was an exercise in space and time.  Too much space to cover and very little time.

Three kids to pickup from two locations, followed by feeding and drop-off for baseball at two separate diamonds.  All within 45 minutes.  Nearly impossible.

I could feel the stress building as I headed for the first pickup.  I nervously scanned the radio and soon I heard, “Pressure pushing down on me…” I smiled.  It was as if the good Lord was teasing me, saying, “David, take a deep breath.  It will all work out fine.” I smiled.

One child picked up.  Checked the phone, one ballgame would be in the park by our house.  Second and third boys collected.  Sandwiches distributed in the car.  It was going to be fine.  Hard to believe, but we might just do it.  Pressure?  What pressure?  Almost there.

Arriving at the ballpark, I looked at the clock.  5:29PM!  We had done it, with one minute to spare.  Success!

I proudly pointed at the time and said to my son, “Look, one minute early!”

Turning to head out of the car and join his teammates, my son replied, “Coach likes us here early.”

The dear Lord picks us up; people push us down.  At least, I had a minute remaining to consider the thought.

 

Coaching the Little League team, I watched as the batter fouled off a pitch.  Then another.  Then another.  Then a few more.  No really, it must have been a dozen.  Or two.  Regardless, it was a bunch.

Eventually, he struck out swinging and returned to the dugout.  Since he was scheduled to catch next inning, I started helping him with his gear.  “Hey bud, nice at-bat, you were up there so long, I became eligible for my pension.” Chuckles soon came from eavesdropping parents.  I was on fire and it was time to capitalize.

“You were up there so long, I grew a beard,” I continued.  Less chuckles, but still a few.  The crowd still wanted one more.  I could feel it.

“You were up there so long, the seasons changed.” A smattering of appreciation and perhaps a giggle.

A lot of material from one at-bat and a new set of parents to amuse.  Oh, life is good and the banter of baseball sounds so sweet.

 

It was a rough night for the Paulsen Clan on the baseball diamond.  I was pinch hitting as coach for my son Sam’s team and we were being beaten.  Beaten by a lot.

Sam was also struggling at the plate.  A strikeout here, a grounder there, you know the story.

On the mound, our pitchers kept forgetting to cover home on wild pitches and there were a lot of wild pitches.  Sam was playing first and after he noticed that the pitchers were failing to cover home, he would sprint in to cover home plate.  Again and again and again.

Eventually, the sun set as we were run ruled.  Lining up to shake hands, the other team’s coach (who I had never met before that evening) approached me and asked, “Can I speak to your number 7 (Sam’s number)?”

I called Sam over and the other coach leaned in to tell him, “You were really hustling out there.  Good job.”

A compliment from the opposing bench.  Priceless.

Some nights you go 0 for 4.  Some nights you lose by 12 runs.  Some nights you receive a compliment and that moment can be considered a save.