I had done it.  I had successfully passed the annual bioscan at work.  Weight, cholesterol, blood pressure, all looking good.  Oh yeah, baby.  Can you say, “health insurance premium reduction?!?”

Best part, according to my readings, I had grown 1″ in two years.  Ha!  Taller and fitter.  Winning!

Feeling like I was on top of the world, I went about my workday strutting my stuff.  This attitude continued late into the day, as I walked down the hall.  I could see a co-worker from another direction standing in the hallway chatting.  For the sake of this post, we will call him “Chuck,” mainly because my friend Chuck might be reading this post, so hey man, this subtle tribute is for you.  Also, Chuck is a fine name.  I digress.

Passing Chuck, I said hello.  Co-worker known in this post as Chuck looked at me and said, “Looking good, bro.”

Hell, yeah.  Feeling fine, too.  One inch taller will do that for a fella.  Chuck saw it and I know it.

It was hot and I was tired, but I was running.  Jogging down the road at 5PM, giving it a try.

Given the heat, the sleepiness, and sweat, my mind was not really all that sharp.  Sorta dull is closer to the truth.  My mind was seriously wandering.

Catching the eye of a passing bicyclist, I smiled and said, “Morning.” Without skipping a beat, he replied, “Morning.”

Wait!  No!  It was 5 at night!  It was not morning!  It was clearly, “Evening!” I was obviously delirious!

As I continued plodding along, I thought to myself, “Well, it is sort of morning.  By getting outside and running, I kind of rebooted my day.  Gave it a fresh start, a morning of sorts.”

Nice thought Delirious Boy, we’ll run with that explanation.  Oh and by the way, “‘Morning to you,’ as well.”

Won’t be needing this, I’m already hot.

#Arrogance #PressToCatchUpWithMe

I don’t know how they got there.  Sometimes, it’s best not to ask why.  Just imagine my delight upon opening the dashboard storage and there before my eyes…

was a mint condition bag full of Hot Tamales.  Sometimes miracles happen and there’s no need to ask “Why?”

You know that it’s a good day when you find out that your “Unicorn Name” is…

“Rainbow Spirit Dancer!”

The zucchinis are plentiful, which means so is the baking.  Zucchini muffins, zucchini brownies, and tonight’s selection zucchini bread.

Prepping the batter with my 9-year-old son Ben, I readied a cup full of chocolate chips.  Turning to speak with Ben, I held the chocolate chips above the bowl full of batter.  Then glancing back at the chocolate chips, I watched as I poured the chocolate chips, not into the bowl, but instead directly onto the counter.

I was not looking away.  I was actually watching as I poured them out.  My mind appears to have actually turned off.

Zucchini, chocolate chips, and my mind, they are all terrible things to waste.

The meeting itself was not stressful.  Just a few updates, some strategy discussion, nothing major at all.

Therefore, I don’t know if it was the chair, which was leather.

I don’t know if it was the air in the office, which felt kind of stuffy.

I don’t know if it was my attire, which was a shirt and tie (and of course pants, stop snickering).

Whatever the cause, my back started to sweat.  The kind of sweat that began rolling off my back.  Landing on my clothes.  Shirt, pants, underwear, the whole deal.

Soon, I began to wonder, “Is the sweat beginning to show on my back?  On the chair?  On my butt?”

The meeting’s primary goal was soon becoming, “How do I exit with some shred of dignity still attached to my being (and rear)?”

Back out slowly, look ’em in the eye, and never let ’em see you sweat (especially not on your behind).

Checking in with our boys, Charlene asked what they were up to today.  They related that they went to the park, where they played a few games, including “Hide and Seek.”

Charlene asked the perfectly acceptable follow-up question, “What was the best hiding spot?” 9-year-old Ben happily relayed the Hide and Seek talents of his older brother, 11-year-old Sam.  “Sam hide in a trash can!”

Oh dear, I can assume that the next time we see Sam, it will be heading to the bathroom to take a shower.

Good news!  The strange mountain man, who has recently been living with my family, has left.  I’m back, baby, but I’m not sure why shaving caused me to lose my shirt.  #LifesMysteries

After reluctantly agreeing to help my son locate his lost baseball glove, I headed to his room.  Closet?  Nope.  Visible portions of room (i.e. top portions of stuff on the floor, dresser, and nightstand)? Nope.  Under the bed?  Nope, but wait.  Something more curious lurks below.

The remains of what appears to have been an epic cereal party.  Breakfast on, bro!  Or should I say, “Cheerio?”