Today was one of those days, when I just felt old. My body was winded a little too quickly at the gym – old. Everyone appeared younger than me (they actually were) – old.

Then came dinner, as my 11-year-old son Sam began to tell a story, “Today, I Goggled myself.” I interrupted with “Did it hurt?” Old joke. No one laughed. Somehow I was still proud. Very proud of my joke. Sometimes being old is okay.

Always the smarty, my son Sam asked his little brother, 10-year-old Ben, a question. “What does E=mc^2 stand for?”

Without hesitation, Ben responded, “How am I supposed to know? Ernie makes out with cats?”

Um, no son, that was one of Einstein’s lesser known observations. Also, that would have been E=m/o+c(>1).

Any who, your answer was wrong. Just goes to show that you’re no Einstein. You may be something better.

It was never really a New Year’s resolution or anything like that, more of a healthy lifestyle thing. An attempt to cut back. Go cold turkey and then reenter the fold gradually and reasonably. Any who, it has been eight days or so since I have had caffeine. Not a drop.

The side effects have been minimal, except for one, my new tendency of getting very sleepy during the day. What made it even worse was that I found myself drifting off during my son’s basketball game. Even worse than that, it was a good game. No excuse, well other than the excuse that I was sans caffeine and very, very tired.

So next time you see a parent drifting off during their child’s event, don’t judge the old soul. Perhaps they are bettering themselves.

Hey folks, just for fun, here are three things that made me happy today.

1) My dog cuddled up for Winter.

2) Spotting a smiley face that someone left on a white board at work.

3) Looking through my phone photos and finding a picture of my boys eating lunch at Taco Bell (and the fact that they allow their playful dad to take photos of them randomly in public).

Three things. I’d call that a day’s worth of happy.

Leaving work on New Year’s Eve, I was feeling pretty good about myself. A project was coming together and I had produced a pretty nice work product. I saved my file in a spot I could find, turned off my computer, and smiled. When the new year arrived, I was going to hit the ground running.

Fast forward through New Year’s Day to January 2nd, I pranced into work and booted up my computer. It was going to be such a productive start to the new year.

One problem, the file that I saved, my excellent work, was nowhere to be found. Vanished. It was gone. Less of a panic and more of a sadness started rolling over me. As I clicked on the Recycle Bin to see if I had accidentally deleted it, I spotted it. There on my desktop, a bit of uber organization that I had left myself from last year, a file labeled “Current.”

Nice thinking 2018 Dave, just next time try and be more clear about things that are current. That file is a year old. – 2019 Dave

Headed into the New Year, I had a pretty common and reasonable goal: lose five pounds. I know, eye roll, but those five pounds would be nice to have gone and there I’ve said it and we shall no longer reference that poundage.

So this morning, I was walking down the hall and unprompted, a friend complimented my outfit and said that it made me look “svelte.” That’s right. Me. Svelte.

By the way, the definition of “svelte” is “(of a person) slender and elegant.” I’ll take it. Oh and by the way, take that five pounds. You no longer weigh on my New Year.

Watching New Year’s Day bowl games with my three boys, a commercial for a documentary came on the television. I instantly knew the topic. I shuddered in fear.

My boys, unaware of the subject at hand, continued to watch unfazed.

The commercial continued, “Everyone thought she was a nice girl…” I contemplated if I should quickly change the channel. In that instance, I decided “no.” This was a story they should hear. It might give them pause. Keep them from making a bad decision. Avoid an unhealthy relationship. I let the narrator continue.

“Well, a nice girl does not cut off a man’s penis.”

As my boys sat there not knowing what to say, with their mouths wide open, I realized that after 25 years, the Bobbitts had returned to deliver a fresh round of shock to a new generation.

PS – Boys listen closely. The moral of the story is that the narrator was probably wrong and that creep did indeed deserve it.

You have to love Reindeer Blend coffee, made with real reindeer.

You are welcome and Happy New Year!

This afternoon, I was playing one-on-one basketball with my 10-year-old son Ben. Despite my 18 inch or so height advantage, Ben was holding his own.

At one point, young Ben headed to take the ball out. I glimpsed the back of his basketball warm up shirt. There on the back it read, “Paulsen.”

I smiled. That was my boy. My boy who was playing. My boy who was enjoying life. My boy who was spending time with me.

Seeing my name on my boy’s jersey. That made me smile.

Getting older is such a cruel process. The older I get, the less my body appreciates being injected with large quantities of caffeine. At the same time, I cannot stay awake through an entire kid’s movie without large quantities of the previously referenced caffeine. The quality of the movie has no bearing on my sleepiness. It’s just a sad state of affairs.

My eyelids are broken and solution of a java infusion cannot be enjoyed. Well folks, I guess that’s a wrap. Nighty, night.