Mid-Super Bowl, my son causally says, “My head really itches.”

My wife glances at me with spousal concern and mouths the word, “Lice.”

So the lights went on and in an instant, I was digging through my son’s scalp.

Good news, it was just dry skin. Score!

And you thought it was a boring game.

I have a friend, who shall remain nameless to protect his innocence. I talk about most anything with this friend, including dish soap. Now, don’t get the wrong idea. I certainly discuss plenty of manly things with this friend, including baseball, beer, and women, but also dish soap, so back off.

Well, this past weekend, I received a text from him stating that he just realized that Palmolive is a combination of the words “palm” and “olive.” Whoa! This was news to me, as well. Mind blown! Who knew? Well, apparently my friend’s daughter, who shall also remain nameless, already knew this. Now, this young woman is a fine person, which is why it surprised me to learn that she was “surprised by our thickness” at our dish soap ignorance. Humph.

I mentioned this story to my son, who is 10-years-old and shall remain nameless. Giving a shrug, he stated that yes, he knew about the palm, olive breakdown. Double humph. I used to think my son was nice.

Today, I relayed this story to my friend at work. She by the way is a colleague who shall remain nameless. Now don’t get me wrong, I chat about most anything with this friend, including lots of work stuff such as meeting strategies, data sets, and project planning, but also other stuff, such as dish soap. In response to my story, she noted that it makes sense, since it is olive for the palms of your hands. What? I was thinking palm as in tree. Again, mind blown. Thickness confirmed.

Changing into my gym clothes at lunch, I found my shirt to be rather awkward. There appeared to be a stowaway sock or something tucked within a fabric fold. I shook my shirt in the loneliness that dwells within the YMCA locker room.

Well, what fell out startled me. What fell out put a smile on my face. A pair of my beautiful wife’s panties landed on the locker room bench. I laughed, as I stored them next to the towel in my locker.

I would like to claim no role in this incident, but I was the one that folded this load of laundry. I had allowed the sexy hitchhiker.

So, I can be thankful. Thankful for my attractive wife. Thankful that the undies didn’t make an appearance in the middle of kettlebell swings. Most of all, however, thankful that my clothes folding subconscious has a great sense of humor.

DARK CHOCOLATE PUDDING COOKIES

“Soft, chocolatey, and super good. Enjoy!”

1 cup Butter

1 cup Sugar

1 package (3.4 ounces) Jell-O Chocolate Fudge Instant Pudding Mix

2 Eggs

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2 1/4 cups Flour

1 teaspoon Baking Soda

1 cup Dark Chocolate M&Ms

1 cup Dark Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream the butter and sugar.

Mix in the pudding mix.

Mix in the eggs and vanilla extract.

Mix in the flour and baking soda.

Stir in the M&Ms and chocolate chips.

Drop Tablespoon sized balls of dough onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 10 minutes.

Remove from oven and cool for 5 minutes on wire cooling racks.

Makes about 36 cookies.

Revised Source: “Pudding Chocolate Chip Cookies” recipe in “Today is a Great Day for a Cookie” by Yours Truly.

As we sat down for our annual viewing of “Groundhog Day,” something struck me. Bill Murray looked so young. I Goggled it. He was 42-years-old in the movie. I’m 46.

I used to think reliving a day didn’t sound too appealing. Now, given my apparently advanced age, it doesn’t sound too bad.

Chapter One – My wife got me excited. She had said, “I guess it’s just you, me, and Sam for dinner tonight.” Visions of takeout Chinese and pizza danced in my head. Before I could say anything, my wife continued, “I was thinking of leftovers.” My heart sank. Disappointment.

Chapter Two – Later, my wife explained that we would be having leftover beef stew for dinner. I explained my sadness, due to previous visions of takeout Chinese and pizza. My lovely wife pointed out that it had been my night to cook. I looked to the schedule and it read, “Friday – Dave.” My heart sank. Disappointment in myself.

OATMEAL KISSES

“When you come home from work to find out that your son made a new cookie recipe on his snow day (i.e. cold weather day), that’s enough to warm your heart (and forgive me for this super long run-on sentence). Enjoy!”

1 cup Butter

1/2 cup Sugar

1/2 cup Brown Sugar

2 Eggs

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2 cups Flour

1/2 teaspoon Salt

1 teaspoon Cinnamon

3 cups Quick Cooking Oats

40 Hershey’s Kisses

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream the butter, sugar, and brown sugar.

Mix in the eggs and vanilla extract.

Mix in the flour, salt, and cinnamon.

Stir in the oats.

Drop Tablespoon sized balls of dough onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 8 minutes.

Remove from oven, gently press a Hershey’s Kiss into the center of each cookie.

Bake for an additional 5 minutes

Remove from oven and let the cookies rest for 5 minutes on the baking sheet, before moving each cookie onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes 40 cookies.

Revised Source: “Oatmeal Kisses” recipe on Pinterest by “Can’t Stay Out of the Kitchen.”

You know you work at a great place, when it is Thirty Below and your co-workers put on a “Hot Water Fireworks” show for you.

Thank you, Hoang Ton, for making today an adventure.

SOFT DELIGHT COOKIES

“When you come home and find out that your boys have baked you cookies, that’s a delight. Plus, they’re super soft and tasty. That’s a soft delight, indeed.”

1/2 cup Butter

8 ounces Cream Cheese, softened

1 Egg

15.25 ounce box Funfetti Cake Mix

1/4 cup Sprinkles

1/4 cup Powdered Sugar

Cream the butter and cream cheese.

Mix in the egg.

Mix in the cake mix.

Mix in the sprinkles.

Refrigerate dough for one hour.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Roll rounded Tablespoons of dough in powdered sugar.

Place on parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 10 minutes.

Makes about 30 cookies.

Revised Source: “Funfetti Gooey Butter Cookies” on Pinterest.

At the gym, I recognized something vaguely familiar. I wasn’t sure what, but a woman in my exercise class seemed familiar. I had seen her before, but today something was different. She was different.

I glanced at her. Not a creepy glance, but a quick “What’s the deal?” glance. Then it struck me, it was her shirt. I thought I recognized her shirt. All I needed to confirm was the brand. Between exercises, I thought about asking. Nah, creepy. I would just have to guess. Then in a stroke of luck, she turned away, revealing the brand logo on her back. UA, Under Armour.

Yes, Under Armour, the brand that has been sending me ad upon ad upon ad, since Christmas. Not just any ad, but after having purchased a Christmas present for my beautiful wife through their website, ads for women’s apparel. Apparel, which included that shirt.

Dave, that’s my name. Identification of women’s clothing due to relentless ad upon ad upon ad, that’s my game.