I’m sorry, but even at $1.99, Beer Goggles are not a smart buy.

Spent vessel, awaiting rebirth

Days filled with silky milk seem long ago,

while sitting among the old Amazon boxes

GIRL SCOUT THIN MINT PANCAKES

“It’s that time of year, Girl Scout cookies abound. What to do with all those yummies? Well, besides eating them, make yourself a breakfast treat. Enjoy!”

One sleeve Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies (minus one, two, or three that you ate)

2 cups Flour

2 Tablespoons Sugar

4 teaspoons Baking Powder

1/2 teaspoon Salt

2 Eggs

2 cups Milk

4 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil

3/4 cup Chocolate Chips

Preheat a griddle to 350 degrees.

Coarsely chop the Thin Mints (about 12 pieces per cookie). Set aside.

Mix together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

Mix together the eggs, milk, and vegetable oil.

Stir the milk mixture into the dry ingredient mixture until just combined.

Fold in the Thin Mint pieces and chocolate chips.

Coat the preheated griddle with cooking spray.

Drop batter in desired amounts (usually between 1/8 and 1/4 cup) onto griddle.

Bubbles will form on the top side and the bottom will nicely brown.

Flip over the pancakes and continue to cook until both sides are browned.

Repeat and enjoy!

Makes about 20 pancakes.

Revised source for basic pancake recipe: “Better Homes & Gardens New Cookbook.”

When my son announced that he was going to take selfies with our dog, I silently questioned the wisdom of his plan.

Okay, I was wrong.

Folding clothes, I realized something horrible. An unsolvable problem before my very eyes.

I have one son Ben, who is 10-years-old. I have another son Sam, who is 12-years-old. I have a pile of clean clothes to fold all size 10-12.

Pray for clarity. Pray for my laundry folding soul.

Headed into a meeting, I had a bold new strategy: bring an apple. Yes, an apple. If the meeting started to head South, I would take a big bite. Wallah, instant group distraction.

Well, walking into the meeting (please, don’t think less of me), I chickened out. I ate all of the apple, minus the core, before most of the attendees arrived. Part hunger, mostly chickenness inspired my actions. Plus, the apple was yummy, so I didn’t feel too bad.

The meeting continued on and sadly I got hungry again. I stared at the apple core.

The meeting continued on even longer. I glanced at the core once more. I willed my tummy not to grumble.

More time in the meeting, I could not take it any longer. I popped the core into my mouth (I don’t believe anyone noticed).

Good news was that it provided me with a moment of distraction. Just ignore the cyanide rich apple seeds, it was a price I was willing to pay.

Returning home from vacation, we had just retrieved our luggage from the baggage carousel. My beautiful wife, Charlene headed our line as we marched toward the shuttle. Our teenager Jacob and I brought up the rear.

Suddenly, Jacob and I noted a strange phenomenon. In the opposite direction, a seemingly endless stream of tall, tan, attractive young women began parading by us.

They all wore the same red and black athletic apparel. Continuing to walk in the opposite direction, I strained to read their logo. San Diego State Aztecs Swimming and Diving. We were walking past sun drenched athletes.

Stepping onto the escalator, I shouted up to my athletic and perfectly stunning in her own right wife (a hushed shout, mind you), “That’s the San Diego State Swim Team!” (a hushed exclamation, as well). “Yep, I know,” she said seemingly unimpressed.

I turned to my son and he looked back, our faces mirror images of astonishment. A parade of chiseled female athletes had just traveled through our midst and we were the only ones who had appreciated the moment.

Fear not, Aztecs, we shall now cheer for you. Thank you, Aztecs, for gracing us with your presence.

Perhaps next time, a smaller instrument.

First sign that you may be a little hard on yourself… You cannot believe that you packed one too many pairs of socks for your vacation. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Just sayin’, I bet Heaven smells like a Waffle House.