“Cookie of the Week” Spoiler Alert!

Getting ready for tomorrow’s “Cookie of the Week” post, I typed “Nutmeg Shortbread” into Google. The first “O” produced some expected results including www.foodandwine.com, www.food.com, and www.cooks.com.  Clicking on the second “O,” what did I see?  A link to www.CookiesbyDave.com!  Yes indeed, we are moving up in the world.  Cookie fans, only one “O” to go!

 

In order to avoid freaking anyone out, I have purposely concealed the names associated with this story.  “What?  Freak me out?  No way,” you say.  Well, read on, be the judge, and whatever you do, stay online.

Earlier today, one of my boys was very worried.  Apparently a few days ago, he was convinced a discussion had taken place.  A discussion confirming the recent death of someone we all knew.  He was sad.  He was concerned that he had not heard any details about an upcoming funeral.  Worry was consuming him.

Well, when I found this out, I was surprised by the news.  I had not heard about this death.  I am certain I would have heard about it.  Then again, my heighten state of cluelessness may have resulted in my bumbling by this information.  Unaware and unaffected.  How embarrassing would it have been if my wife had mentioned it and I had missed the news.  Perhaps, I had been preoccupied with a “Cookie of the Week” post and had completely blotted out any sadness.  Ugh, that would have been an event worse than well death, well not really, but it would not have helped the situation.

Unable to reach my wife on her phone to dispel the rumor, I went to the one source I felt could prove someone’s continued breathing, while ruining no one’s day.  That source was Facebook.  Yes and my instincts proved correct.  The person had been active on Facebook within the past hour, plus none of our mutual friends mentioned their passing.  Life seemed to be going on at a regular pace.  Nothing unusual.  Showing the “proof” to my son, I felt strangely comfortable embracing post-gallows humor.  “I don’t know about you, but if I had recently died the last place I would be visiting is Facebook.”  Nothing.  Really?  Not that there’s anything wrong with Facebook.  I enjoy Facebook, but when I pass over to the other side, I certainly hope I’ll have other things on my mind.  Plus, I definitely don’t want to be worrying about a strong Wi-Fi connection in the afterlife.  Those data overage charges would certainly be a killer.

So as you enjoy your evening’s Facebook trolling, smile.  You are enjoying life, plus your digital footprint is a source of comfort to others that you’re still with us.  By the way, the subject of this post was not you, I can assure you of that, so don’t freak out.  Keep calm and type on.

 

Heading up to say goodnight to the boys, I saw the door to 7-year-old Ben’s room closed, but it’s what I did not see that caused some hesitation.  I did not see Ben’s brothers milling about their rooms.  The upstairs area was strangely quiet.

Opening the door to Ben’s room, I saw him dutifully climbing the ladder of his loft bed.  Ben smiled and to his credit displayed no signs of anything being amiss.  Something however stirred deep within me.  I knew something was afoot.  Glancing behind the door, nothing.  Next stop, the closet.  Swinging wide the door, I heard a unified shriek.  There sitting on the floor, waiting for their chance to scare their poor old father were Ben’s two brothers.  The threat had been neutralized, bedtime would resume as requested.

Accusations flew, as the brothers blamed Ben for revealing their hiding spot.  Ben in all honesty maintained that he had played his role.  Tucking Ben in, he turned his freckled face of youth toward me and asked in wonder, “Dad, how did you know they were in there?”  “The Force,” I answered with a grin, but I had lied.  I had used something much more powerful than the Force or anything else in the universe, a father’s desire for sleep.  May peace and quiet be with you, always.

 

Considering that it’s Ash Wednesday, a day when we face our mortality, the one thought that came to mind as I was called to the bathroom to clean up an overflowing toilet, “Lord, it’s okay if you take me now.”  Well, apparently the Creator did not need my company, because I was asked to stay around and clean up the mess.  Yes, we are all on a journey.  Journeys where eventually we will use up all of the towels in our closet.  Someday, we will have dried up all of the water and our job will be complete.  As for me, I’m still in the game, because apparently there will be more overflowing toilets in the future that will need my attention.  Hey, I’m not complaining, we all have our calling.  #TonightMineJustWasNotTheBest

I glanced over at the alarm clock, which read 5:30AM.  It was still a half hour before the alarm would sound.  Rolling over, I saw my wife’s face.  Peaceful.  At rest.  Sound asleep.  Strangely surrounded by a soft light.

Considering she was still asleep, the glow could not be coming from her cell phone.  A bit confused.  Still too tired to figure it out.  I allowed myself to appreciate the moment.  Consider how  very blessed I am.  There beside me was a beautiful, talented, smart, uberfit, and loving woman.  An understanding wife and a caring mother.  All mine.  My love.  Turning back over, I was thankful for the glow.  It had allowed me to see her well before the morning light.  It helped remind me that I was a lucky man.  A lucky man, who would now smile for the next thirty minutes, as I awaited the alarm clock’s morning hello.

 

Maybe it’s just me, but I think Denver’s offense would have been more successful if the groundhog was wearing his helmet in accordance with the manufacturer’s guidelines.

 

It’s almost time for the BIG game and as a result, www.CookiesbyDave.com is providing you with a super big Cookie of the Week post.  Three bar recipes.  One day.  It’s Super Bar Sunday!  Enjoy.

CHERRIO COOKIE BUTTER NO-BAKES

“The mixture of cookie butter and honey is so perfectly paired in this single no-bake, you’ll be inspired to shout, ‘Touchdown!,’ for no particular reason.  Also, cookie butter may be a little challenging to find in your area, but it’s worth the online shipping costs to enjoy these yummy bites.”

½ cup Cookie Butter (sold at Trader Joe’s)

½ cup Honey

¼ cup Brown Sugar

4 cups Dark Chocolate Multi Grain Cherrios

1 cup Quick Cooking Oats

½ cup Mini Chocolate Chips

 

Line a 8”x8” square baking pan with aluminum foil and spray with cooking oil.

In a large bowl, microwave together the cookie butter, honey, and brown sugar for 30 seconds.  Stir.  Repeat until beginning to boil.  This should take about 2 minutes total of microwaving.

Stir in the cherrios and oats.

Stir in the mini chocolate chips.

Using a spoon (to minimize burning your hand and fingers), press into prepared pan.

Chill in refrigerator for 1 hour.

Cut and serve.

Store remaining bars at room temperature.

 

Makes about 16 bars.

Revised Source:  “No-Bake Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars” at www.bettycrocker.com.

CHOCOLATE COVERED CHERRY CHEESECAKE BARS

“Looking for a delicious treat to make your love for Valentine’s Day?  Look no further, these bars have got you covered, just like a Pro Bowl secondary.  Also worth noting, the cheesecake filling makes for a totally likable bowl, during the kitchen cleanup Fourth Quarter.”

12 Tablespoons Butter

½ cup Sugar

2 Eggs

2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract

2½ cups Flour

½ teaspoon Baking Soda

½ teaspoon Salt

1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

½ cup Nestle Toll House Cherry Filled Baking Chips

½ cup Cherry Flavored Baking Chips

 

FILLING INGREDIENTS

12 ounces Cream Cheese, softened

1 cup Powdered Sugar

1 Egg

¼ cup Cherry Pie Filling

 

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Lightly coat a 8”x8” square baking pan with cooking spray.  Set aside.

Cream butter and sugar.

Mix in eggs and vanilla extract.

Mix in flour, baking soda, and salt.

Mix in chocolate chips, cherry filled baking chips, and cherry flavored baking chips.

Take ½ of the dough and press into the bottom of the prepared pan.  Set aside the remaining ½ of the dough.

Prepare the filling by creaming the cream cheese and powdered sugar.

Mix in the egg and cherry pie filling.

Pour the filling into the pan with the dough on the bottom.

Take pieces of the remaining ½ of the dough and flatten.

Place the flattened pieces of dough on top of the filling.  The pieces will eventually overlap and cover the entire top.

Bake for 40 minutes or until the top is golden brown.

Place pan on a wire rack and allow to cool completely.

Cut into bars and serve.

Store remaining bars in refrigerator.

 

Makes about 16 bars.

Revised Source:  “Chocolate Covered Cherry Cheesecake Cookie Bars” at www.thecookierookie.com.

CHOCOLATE CHERRY BROWNIES

“Oh yes, these brownies are delicious.  No competition, these brownies ‘could go all the way’ toward having the pan emptied in one night.”

½ cup Butter

1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

1¼ cups Sugar

3 Eggs

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1¼ cups Flour

½ teaspoon Baking Powder

¾ teaspoon Salt

9 ounce package (1½ cups) Nestle Toll House Cherry Filled Baking Chips

½ cup White Chocolate Chips

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line a 9”x13” baking pan with aluminum foil and lightly coat with cooking spray.  Set aside.

Microwave butter and semi-sweet chocolate chips for 30 seconds.  Stir.  Repeat, until chocolate chips have melted.

Stir in sugar, eggs, and vanilla extract.

Stir in flour, baking powder, and salt.

Stir in cherry filled baking chips and white chocolate chips.

Lightly press dough into prepared pan.

Bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Place pan on a cooling rack and allow to completely cool.

Lift bars out by the aluminum foil.

Place on a cutting board and carefully peel off the foil.

Cut into bars.

 

Makes about 30 brownies.

Revised Source:  “Chocolate Almond Brownies with Cherry Flavored Filled Delightfulls” at www.verybestbaking.com.

Chocolate Cherry Brownies, as seen in a naturally chilled Minnesota garage (a.k.a. walk-in refrigerator).

Also note the blurry lenses used for this photo.  I thought I might need a new phone to replace the camera.  Turns out I just needed to wipe off the lenses (and I say this in all fatherly loving kindness) from the grime deposited by a Paulsen boy grubby little paws open field tackle.

 

We were so happy.  The former owners of our new home decided to leave behind their treadmill.  We were so sad.  The treadmill would not work properly for anything larger than a tree frog.

Not one to settle with sad and considering that we are much larger than tree frogs, I called in a treadmill repair fellow.  Sure enough, $96 later, he had the treadmill up and running.  His advice, “This model really wasn’t built for running.  I would recommend using it only for walking or it might cause the (treadmill’s) deck to crack.”

With the repairman watching, I hopped on the machine in my slippers.  I turned the machine up to level 3 speed and sure enough it worked fine.  I was enjoying a nice walk.  Then I got to thinking (this is where it usually takes a turn for the worse…  even though you can only walk straight on a treadmill…  ha, the irony), why does the machine go all the way up to level 10, if it was only designed to operate at level 3?

Gaining confidence with every step, I turned up the speed.  Again.  Again.  Again.  Soon I was in full jogging stride.  Slippers and all.  I’m sure the technician was impressed.  Impressed, until we heard a “snap!”  Great fear washed over me.  Had I just broken the machine that had just been fixed three minutes earlier?  Was I a complete fool?  Exercising?  In slippers?  Well, yes to the questions about the exercising fool in slippers, but I desperately looked to the repairman for good news.  Good and comforting news of any sort.  A pardon from my stupidity was preferable.

Without a second glance, he reassured me that it had just been the plastic on the cover snapping back into place.  I had been spared, while returning to an appropriate speed of 3, still in my slippers and walking again as I should.

While I still don’t know why they would ever design a machine whose level 3 should actually be its level 10, I did know one thing.  I will never again enter any speed higher than 3, slippers or not.

Hubris sure isn’t a good running companion.  Word to your treadmill.

 

Digging out the old flag themed “Match Game” of my youth, a few things quickly became apparent.  I no longer have any short term memory.  Some of the flags and countries (USSR?) from the late ’70s / early ’80s are now woefully out of date.  My kids were going to clobber me.  I no longer have any short term memory.

Seeing that I was losing by many a flag pairing, I decided to start making fun of the cover of the box.

“Oh Jonny, we’re so proud of you turning over a tile.”  “Way to go, son.”  “Look at our boy, turning over the good ol’ US of A.”

This entertained me for a while and my children, who were feeling sorry for me, tolerated my behavior.  After a few more matches, my 12-year-old son Jacob had a commanding lead and also glanced at the box.  That’s when he saw something so scandalous, I’m a little worried to point it out.  The boy on the cover, the one whose parents are fawning with attention, is turning over the tile with his (shock!  gasp!) middle finger.  Egad!  That little punk was showing a bit of silent rebellion during family game night.  With kids like that around, it’s a wonder any of us made it out of the ’70s.

 

Picking up our 7-year-old son Ben from school, one thing became instantly apparent.  Ben was losing his voice.  Sadly, if silence is the only remedy for going hoarse, poor Ben may never regain his banterful chirp.  Hey, “banterful.”  Now there’s a made up word worth keeping.  Certainly something worth talking about.