Today, I traveled with my Third Grader Sam to a new world for me: the elementary school “Lost and Found.” There we dug through bin upon bin of discarded and abandoned clothes looking for Sam’s lost jacket.

As I dug, my mind wandered. “Really? Don’t parents ask what happened to Johnny’s snow pants?” “I know he left school wearing snow pants, but now they are missing. Oh, well.” “Who does that?”

Then it struck me, as well as distracted me from my line of imaginary questions, these clothes felt yucky. Sort of a layer of filth permeated them. Perhaps, it’s some sort of buried fear of lice. Perhaps, some dislike of being dirty in general. Perhaps, I just don’t like being around the clothing of others. All I knew is that I needed to wrap up the search and find a sink to wash up. Quickly.

Unsuccessful in our search, I suggested to Sam that we wash our hands. Note that I did so in a non-panicky voice so as not to pass along my phobias to my son. There, as I feverishly scrubbed my hands in the elementary school restroom, I realized something very valuable. No, I hadn’t found Sam’s lost jacket, but I had found something pretty powerful. A new phobia. Well, at least I found something. Winning, fear of germs style.