Facebook: The Modern Vital Sign

In order to avoid freaking anyone out, I have purposely concealed the names associated with this story.  “What?  Freak me out?  No way,” you say.  Well, read on, be the judge, and whatever you do, stay online.

Earlier today, one of my boys was very worried.  Apparently a few days ago, he was convinced a discussion had taken place.  A discussion confirming the recent death of someone we all knew.  He was sad.  He was concerned that he had not heard any details about an upcoming funeral.  Worry was consuming him.

Well, when I found this out, I was surprised by the news.  I had not heard about this death.  I am certain I would have heard about it.  Then again, my heighten state of cluelessness may have resulted in my bumbling by this information.  Unaware and unaffected.  How embarrassing would it have been if my wife had mentioned it and I had missed the news.  Perhaps, I had been preoccupied with a “Cookie of the Week” post and had completely blotted out any sadness.  Ugh, that would have been an event worse than well death, well not really, but it would not have helped the situation.

Unable to reach my wife on her phone to dispel the rumor, I went to the one source I felt could prove someone’s continued breathing, while ruining no one’s day.  That source was Facebook.  Yes and my instincts proved correct.  The person had been active on Facebook within the past hour, plus none of our mutual friends mentioned their passing.  Life seemed to be going on at a regular pace.  Nothing unusual.  Showing the “proof” to my son, I felt strangely comfortable embracing post-gallows humor.  “I don’t know about you, but if I had recently died the last place I would be visiting is Facebook.”  Nothing.  Really?  Not that there’s anything wrong with Facebook.  I enjoy Facebook, but when I pass over to the other side, I certainly hope I’ll have other things on my mind.  Plus, I definitely don’t want to be worrying about a strong Wi-Fi connection in the afterlife.  Those data overage charges would certainly be a killer.

So as you enjoy your evening’s Facebook trolling, smile.  You are enjoying life, plus your digital footprint is a source of comfort to others that you’re still with us.  By the way, the subject of this post was not you, I can assure you of that, so don’t freak out.  Keep calm and type on.

 

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