Sign that your mind really wants you to stop dieting – You receive a text from your wife that reads, “Can u get hamburger out 4 dinner?”  Your mind initially reads the text as, “For dinner, u can go out for hamburger.”  Your mind continues to race, as it thinks, “Sure ‘hamburger’ was singular, but I’m sure she meant plural.  Applebee’s would be nice.”  Then you come to your senses, oh yeah, the ground hamburger in the freezer.  Yup, I’ll get that out to thaw.  Sad mind, sad hungry mind.

Sign that you really should try staying on your diet, even though your mind is lobbying otherwise – You put on a pair of jeans that you purchased before the holidays.  You swear that you once were able to fit into these without hoisting them up, holding your breath, or sucking in your gut.  Then you actually think, “Oh, maybe I put them on backwards.”  Sadly, that was not the problem.