So, I was going to give this a clever rhyming title, where “Café ID” is pronounced kafā īdā, but that requires a lot of explanation and is it really worth it? Oh, you know the answer. It’s okay, you won’t hurt my feelings. It was a bad idea, like how the alternate title was going to be “Grande Name,” intended to rhyme, as well. Now that’s a double bad idea. Sort of like a double shot of a bad idea. Ugh. A Barista Linguist’s nightmare. Double ugh.

Oh, where was I? Oh yeah, the topic of today’s post. Well, you see, I was at work and getting my morning coffee. As I placed the coffee pot back onto its warmer, I looked down and there was my work ID, hanging from its lanyard, dipped into my piping hot cup of morning coffee.

In an instant, I had transformed from Dave Paulsen, mild mannered public servant, into coffee flavored employee extraordinaire. A man with a hazelnut aroma and a burst of espresso energy. Watch out, world, this bureaucrat is coffee flavored!