Nothing urges you to express your machismo like the opportunity to move a couch.

Nothing makes you regret expressing your machismo like your back after moving a couch.

MOONCAKE MADELINES

“Need a little break?  Need a good party?  How about the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival?  Now, how about adding a little French vibe?  Well, this recipe takes the best from around the world and bakes it into something fun.  Inspired by the mooncake dessert of the Mid-Autumn Festival, this cookie uses a French Madeline pan and dusts on some powdered sugar to give the appearance of our celestial neighbor.  Celebrate this melting pot cookie and let the world’s inspiration melt in your mouth.  Enjoy!”

¾ cup Sugar
½ cup Canola Oil
½ Tablespoon Water
¼ teaspoon Lemon Juice
Pinch Salt
1 Egg
3 Tablespoons Heavy Cream
3 cups Flour
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
½ teaspoon Nutmeg
Powdered Sugar for dusting

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
Prepare madeline pans by lightly coating with cooking spray and dusting with flour.
Mix together the sugar and canola oil. Set aside.
Mix together the water, lemon juice, and salt. Mix the water mixture into the sugar mixture.
Mix in the egg and heavy cream.
Mix in the flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
Knead dough until it is workable.
Press dough into prepared madeline molds.
Bake for 10 minutes or until the cookies have lightly browned.
Cool madeline pans for 5 minutes on wire cooling racks.
With the tip of a knife, remove the madelines from their molds and complete cooling on wire racks.
Dust “shell” side with powdered sugar.

Makes about 36 madelines.

Revised Source: “Chinese Mooncake Biscuit Cookies” recipe on www.sweetsibon.com.

Cookie Inspiration:  My friend, Hoang Ton, who introduced me to mooncake and created a spark of cookie innovation.

Let’s see…  the odds of a Homer Hanky Giveaway resulting in a Sibling-Towel-to-the-Eye Injury?  Vegas says 3-1 (three boys to one injury prior to a dad intervention).

It would however make a fine napkin.  Just guessing.

It was 10PM and it was time to call in Kirby the Beagle for the night.  Only one problem, Kirby was at the corner of our backyard fence barking.  Barking aggressively.  Barking at something in the woods.  Something that appeared to be moving and maybe even snarling in the woods.

Proud of Kirby’s desire to protect our homestead, but worried about what was lurching in the forest, I began to usher him toward the backdoor.

Glancing over my shoulder, I expected to see the worst.

Prankster Teens…  no wait, worse…
Great Horned Owl…  no wait, worse…
Jackalope…  no wait, worse….
Coyote…  no wait, worse….
Mountain Lion…  no wait, worse…
Bear…  no wait, worse…
Sasquatch…  no wait, worse…
Jabberwocky…  no wait, worse…
Chupacabra…  no wait, worse…
The Blair Witch!

Good Lord!  Run!

Ah, we may not know what was rustling in the woods, but we do know what evil dwells in one man’s troubled imagination.

Here on www.CookiesbyDave.com we previous discussed my body’s efforts to resist doughnut related temptations.  Well sure enough, it happened again.  Yesterday’s victim, beer.

Giddy to try some tasty new local brew.  I grabbed the growler and anticipated beer goodness that would soon quench my pallet.  I cupped my fingers around the lid and turned.  I should clarify, my fingers turned, but the lid did not.  No give.

I bucked up, grabbed again, attempted the turn, and nothing.  Again.

Feeling a tad emasculated, I tried one final time.  I grunted, I groaned, and yes, I even growled.  Nothing.  My body had determined a new way to resist vices.  Not showing up.  Dietary passive resistance.  No strength, no treats.  Bam!  Problem solved.  Put one in the win column for “Wimpy Defense.”

Returning from our 13-year-old’s room, my wife reported on the items currently on his bed.

1) Notepad and Pencil – I guess they are useful for jotting down thoughts or creating a dream log.

2) Cereal Bowl – Midnight snack?

3) Frisbee – Perhaps he was planning on having some friends over or a plate substitute, just in case he plans on eating toast with his cereal.

The announcement was broadcast like wildfire, “Doughnuts in the breakroom!”

I ran to investigate and there waiting for my arrival was the most beautiful of sprinkled doughnuts.  Beckoning me.  There, just for me.

Primal Dave sitting on a shoulder provided guidance, “Eat!”

Gym Dave sitting on my other shoulder suggested a compromise, “Use the plastic knife and cut the doughnut into quarters.  Bro, a quarter doughnut will taste the same.”

Primal Dave returned, “Eat!”

Wasting no time and seeing a solution ahead, I began slicing the breakfast temptation.

Snap!  Gym Dave overpowered the knife and snapped it in two.  Good intentions defeated by the resulting torque from too many workouts.

Gym Dave let out a sad, “Bro!”

The troubles of a well intended doughnut compromise.  At least, I tried and an honest attempt certainly deserves a doughnut reward.  Primal Dave and Gym Dave agree.

12:35 AM

and the dog starts licking

You hear the dog being gross, but you are too tired to act

and the dog keeps licking

The dog appears to have the need to lick every inch of his body from nose to toes

and the dog keeps licking

Your spouse wakes up and tries to stop the dog

and the dog keeps licking

You nickname them “Licker” and “Yeller,” but you accidentally say it out loud, because you are stupid

and the dog keeps licking

A pond of drool forms in your bed

and the dog keeps licking

Your spouse wisely relocates to the Guest Bedroom

and the dog keeps licking

You try to fall asleep, but cannot, because of the noise and growing sense of wetness surrounding you

and the dog keeps licking

You cannot think of any solutions, because you are too tired to think straight

and the dog keeps licking

Now you are loudly telling the dog to stop and the man who moments ago mocked his spouse as “Yeller” has become the “Yeller” himself

and the dog keeps licking

Resigned to your fate, you will yourself to a restless sleep in a pool of dog saliva and regret

and the dog keeps licking

CHIPOLTE CHOCOLATE SPANISH COOKIES

“Who can resist a little kiss of heat?  Trust me, this wisp of chipotle helps kick the chocolate into gear.  It works and all is good.  Enjoy!”

COOKIE INGREDIENTS

1 cup, plus 1 Tablespoon Butter

1 cup, plus 1 Tablespoon Brown Sugar

7/8 cup Sugar

2 Eggs

2 1/2 cups Flour

3/4 cup Cocoa Powder

1 1/4 Tablespoons Cinnamon

1/4 Tablespoon Baking Soda

1/4 Tablespoon Salt

1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

COATING INGREDIENTS

1/2 cup Sugar

Generous Pinch Chipotle Powder

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Cream the butter, brown sugar, and sugar.

Mix in the eggs.

Mix in the flour, cinnamon, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.

Mix in the chocolate chips.  Set aside.

Mix together the sugar and chipotle for the coating.

Roll Tablespoon size balls of dough in the coating.

Place on parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 10 minutes or until the cookie bottoms are beginning to brown.  Be careful not to overbake the cookies.

Place baking sheets onto wire cooling racks.

Let cookies sit on the baking sheets for 5 minutes and then place cookies directly onto wire racks to complete cooling.

Makes about 48 cookies.

Revised Source:  “Mexican Hot Chocolate Cookies” by Jonathan Bender in “Cookies & Beer.”

Different, but yet the same

(or at least strangely familiar).