Shhhhh…  I have a secret to tell.  Really a true confession.

You see, I am a sprinkle on the donut of life.  No truer words have ever been spoken.

That is all, goodnight.

Searching for material for this evening’s blog post, I have turned to a trusted source, the camera.  Let’s see, anything on here worthy of a post?

There was that time a work, when I suspected that my co-worker’s toy bull was giving me the evil eye over the cube wall, all while riding a donkey pinata…

or how about the time I took a very awkward photo, while riding a blue pig?

Well there was the time that NPR used questionable tactics to get me to increase my pledge to Classical NPR (it worked).

Really, who would trust a wolverine to measure the height of their child?  That’s not going to be a good start to the carousel ride.

Superheros doing yoga on my dashboard…

an uncomfortable photo of me finally looking halfway acceptable in a compression shirt (so proud of this revelation)…  by the way, I am the one in the middle sort of sucking in his belly…

or my beautiful family by the legs of an enormous cow.

Last entry, my devilish dog trying to look adorable (don’t trust him).

Well, that’s it.  That’s all that I’ve got.  Looks like the photos have failed me.  What?  One more?  That time, when I went out with a friend, got into a little mix up, and I found myself in danger.  My life in peril?  Yes, at the hands of an actual (wait for it) gorilla!

Looks like you were right.  That was indeed worthy.

Goodnight and stay safe.

Getting ready to leave for church, I slide into the driver’s seat.  Glancing down, I saw something strange.  Something odd on the steering wheel.

Pointing it out to my teenager, he ventured a hypothesis.  “Kirby and the ice cream?”

Yes, perhaps.  It was all coming back to me.  You see, I tend to blackout around sweets.  As a result, it’s a dangerous time of year for me.  One minute, I’m standing next to the candy dish.  Then darkness and I find myself two hours later on the floor surrounded by snack size wrappers.  A dangerous time of year, indeed.

Thankfully, my kids remembered.  They remembered how I had been left alone at home with two of my kids.  We had finished dinner and I proposed several dessert options (often my downfall).  The boys quickly selected Dairy Queen and as we got ready to leave the house, I remembered the other boy that was home.  Such a good boy.  My furry boy.  My beagle Kirby.  Yes, Kirby could come with us to get ice cream.  Why not?  Let the furry one live a little.

Pulling up to the Drive-Thru window, I grabbed our order.  Three Blizzards for the humans and one small kiddie sized dish of vanilla ice cream for our dog.  Setting the dish of ice cream in the cup holder, Kirby went to town.  Likewise, I dug into my Blizzard.

That my friends, is how hours slip away and how you end up with dog slobber mixed ice cream spattered on your steering wheel.  It’s a dangerous time of year, consider yourself warned.

Don’t restrain on account of a little rain.

PUMPKIN BROWNIES

“In need of a pumpkin fix, but also in need of a little chocolate for the soul? Well, give these brownies a try and satisfy all your needs in one bite. Recommendation for the wise, start in the morning and gobble at dinner. Enjoy, with a little delay!”

8 ounces Cream Cheese, room temperature
¼ cup, plus 1 Tablespoon Sugar
2 Eggs
1 cup Pumpkin
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
¼ cup Flour
1½ teaspoon Cinnamon
½ teaspoon Ginger
1 cup Butter
2/3 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
1½ cups Brown Sugar
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
4 Eggs
1½ cups Flour
½ teaspoon Baking Powder
¼ teaspoon Salt
½ cup Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Mix together the cream cheese and sugar.
Mix in the 2 eggs.
Mix in the pumpkin and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract.
Mix in the flour, cinnamon, and ginger.
Set aside.
Microwave together the butter and chocolate chips, until just melted together.
Transfer the chocolate mixture to a mixing bowl.
Mix in the brown sugar and remaining 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract.
Mix in the remaining 4 eggs.
Mix in the remaining 1½ cups flour, baking powder, and salt.
Pour ½ of the chocolate mixture into the bottom of a parchment paper lined and greased 13”x9” baking pan. Make sure that the parchment paper extends beyond the two ends of the pan to later serve as handles.
Pour the pumpkin mixture on top of the previously poured chocolate mixture to form a second layer.
Pour the remaining ½ of the chocolate mixture on top to form a third layer.
Use a knife to swirl the batter.
Sprinkle the pumpkin seeds over the top.
Bake for 40 minutes or until the middle is set.
Cool completely on a wire rack.
Place in a refrigerator and chill for 4 hours.
Remove by the parchment paper handles.
Cut into bars.

Makes about 24 brownies.

Revised Source: “Pumpkin Cheesecake Swirl Brownies” recipe by Kim Ode, as found in the October 19, 2017 edition of the “Minneapolis Star Tribune.”

[In the following post, the names have been withheld to protect the innocent.  Now that the historical record has been protected, we can proceed.]

I was feeling pretty good.  Conferences yielded great feedback.  The boys scored high in math and reading.  All was well on the education front.  Sleep well tonight, dad.  No worries.  Good parenting.  Keep those healthy breakfasts coming.  Keep those young brains a growin’.

Then came Family Trivial Pursuit Night.

Question (paraphrased) – “What young Jewish girl authored a famous diary during Nazi occupation of the Netherlands?”

Obviously not knowing the answer, my son guessed with a shrug, “Larry Smith?”  Really?  Larry Smith?  What young Jewish girl in the 1940s was named Larry Smith?  I bet not a single one!  It isn’t even a good alias for someone in hiding.  How about Esther?  Ruth?  Any girl name!  Oh, I know.  How about Anne?  Maybe even Frank Smith.  That would have been closer.  Larry Smith?  Ugh.

Question (to a different child, who also did very well at conferences) – “What war took place during Abraham Lincoln’s presidency?”

Confident, my son answered, “Civil War II.”  Dear God!  Really?  Civil War II?  Sure, war sequels get confusing.  World War this, World War that, but the Civil War was one and done.

The conference results said that their math and ready scores were exceptional.  Absent, any mention of Social Studies.

Saturday night, I was having trouble sleeping.  At around 3AM, I found myself finished reading every magazine within reach and I still was not tired.  Turning on the TV and flipping through the channels, I stumbled across “Back to the Future III.”  It has been at least 20 years since I had seen the movie so I paused and watched for a spell.  Before I knew it, I had finished the final installment in the trilogy.  Turns out that the moral of the story was (spoiler alert), the future is what you make of it.  Yep, you can change your destiny.  Well, who knew?  Satisfied, I returned to bed and got a little sleep.

Before I knew it, I was in church.  Sleepy, but in church.  We were going through one of the early portions of the service, where you confess your sins and say a prayer and such.  Truth be told, I was not paying too much attention, but I was there, reading along, being good.  Then a phrase caught my attention, we prayed to the “God of the future.”  This struck me and caused me to pause in my sleepy state.

God is always God.  Everywhere and always.  Past, present, and future.  Transcending time and space.  God is always there, no matter what.  It does not matter what we make of the future.  It does not matter what others make of the future.  God will be there waiting for us.  Waiting for us with comfort and love.  Providing gentle guidance.  Embracing us in our time of need.

Yes, the future is indeed what we make of it, but we can forever and always take comfort in the fact that a loving and forgiving God will forever be there to greet us.  What a comfort, as we all march together back to the future.  No flux capacitor required.

A thing of beauty.  A thing of wonder.

Watching my wife, one by one, stop three boys in a row from approaching the dinner table by simply saying, “Wash hands.”

1 Corinthians 6:19 – “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own?”

Gosh, thanks for the reminder, Apostle Paul, but as I set the alarm clock for tomorrow morning’s 4AM trip to the gym, I’m wondering if the maintenance man’s visit needed to be scheduled so early.

SUPER SIMPLE, SUPER GOOD BROWNIES

“This Summer, my wife baked these brownies up at the Cabin and I missed out.  Well, I needed to find out more about these brownies of legend, so I gave them a try.  They did not disappoint.  Easy, chocolaty, moist, delicious.  Nothing wrong and everything right.  Enjoy!”

2/3 cup Butter

1 1/2 cups Sugar

1/4 cup Water

2 cups Semisweet Chocolate Chips

2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract

4 Eggs

1 1/2 cups Flour

1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda

1/2 teaspoon Salt

2 cups Semisweet Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

In a microwave, melt together the butter, sugar, and water.

Just bring to a boil.

Mix in 2 cups of chocolate chips.

Let cool for 5 minutes.

Stir in the vanilla extract.  Set aside.

In a mixer, beat the eggs.

Mix in the chocolate mixture.

Mix in the flour, baking soda, and salt.

Stir in the other 2 cups of chocolate chips.

Pour batter into a greased 13″x9″ pan.

Bake for 40 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Remove and cool completely on a wire rack.

Makes about 24 brownies.

Revised Source:  “Very Chocolate Brownies” recipe in Taste of Home’s “Best of Country Cookies” (which by the way is an excellent cookie cookbook).