Where in the world are Jacob’s socks?  The better question would be, “Where in the World Wide Web are Jacob’s socks?”

On the laptop’s lap.

My Third Grade son Ben needed to write a summary for the book he had been reading about the demolition of the Seattle Kingdome.  I suggested the following…

“The workers were like, ‘Yeah!’

The Kingdome was like, ‘Nooooo!’

Then the whole thing went like, ‘BOOM!'”

Surprisingly, he rejected my idea.  I guess it’s true, you’re never a Pulitzer in your own land.

Halloween Rule of Repulsion –

Banana Flavored Laffy Taffy will repel any and all forms of matter.

You know it was a good Halloween, when the shower water runs green with hair dye.

That’s no joke.

PS – I don’t know what she sees in that guy.

The world can be full of such discouraging news that sometimes it is easy to forget the good news.  Happy stories.  Things that make us smile.  Take for instance, I had completely forgotten that in the mid ’80s, I owned a hamster that could do chin-ups.  That my friend is the type of good news that should never be forgotten.

It makes me so happy that it appeared in a column called, “Pssst!”

Now, that’s a thing of beauty.

So today at church, we celebrated the 500th Anniversary of Martin Luther busting out his hammer, defacing property, and launching the Reformation.  All well and good, thanks Pastor Martin.

During worship, our Pastor Paul reminded us to think of how our faith is built upon generation after generation of Christians.  As I sang, I thought of my Grandpa Franck, who always sang with passion, praise, and a bit of otherworldly abandon.  As I sang, I heard my young son, Ben, singing along.  I thought of generations singing together in praise.  A glorious noise across the ages.

Recently, I read the chapter in Genesis about God’s covenant with Abram.  I read the passage in my brand new reading glasses, which I feel make me look rather British and all distinguished and such, but that’s beside the point.  The point is that I read the story of God’s covenant with Abram and what struck me was the following verse (Genesis 15:15a), “As for yourself, you shall go to your ancestors in peace…”  Another promise within a story about a promise.

Yes, in so many ways, we sing as a result of the actions and bravery of our ancestors and we will sing in glory with them, again.  My Bible tells me so.  Grandpa Franck, my son Ben, and me.  Hey, if Martin Luther wants to join us, he is more than welcome, too.

Forever my favorite painting of Martin Luther, during one of his famous family jam sessions.  Rock on, Pastor Martin!  Rock on!

Yep, beside the point, but I still maintain that these reading glasses make me look all sorts of Colin Firth British Kingsman like.  $12 at Walgreens and all sorts of worth it or in this case, Firth it.

The sun never sets on beautiful.

Today featured a wintry mix in Minnesota.  As a result, I was not too surprised to see a small crowd in the after work spin class.

I took a bike in the middle of the class and started up, while listening to the substitute instructor give commands.  Up, down, hover, increase resistance, all of the typical stationary bike type instructions.  Meanwhile, she was playing an Eighty’s Mix through her iPhone.  More up, down, hover commands.  I followed along like a good boy.

Actually, I was the only boy in the class.  I was however on my game and was spinning pretty good.  In fact, I thought I was looking pretty good, too.  Fit.  Capable.  Self confident.  All sorts of manly and somewhat sorts of muscly.

Looking ahead, I tried to gauge the instructor’s next moves.  Up?  Down?  Hover?  It was kind of dark and not the easiest setting to anticipate her movements or track her eyes.  “Jessie’s Girl” played loudly in the room and as the song says, “You know I wish that I had Jessie’s girl.”

Without warning and in a casual tone, the instructor observed, “He’s easy on the eyes.”  Huh?  Me?  I was after all the only “He” there.  In the darkened room, “Jessie’s Girl” played on and as the song says, “she’s watching him with those eyes.”  Yes, it had to be me.  She seemed to be looking straight ahead.

Wow.  Strange, but still nice.  Thank you, I guess.  Yep, me, “Easy on the eyes.”  Then it struck me (accompanied by a strong crestfallen feeling), she was actually looking at her phone.  She was looking at the photo that accompany’s the single, “Jessie’s Girl.”  She was talking about Rick Springfield, circa 1981.

How could I compete against an early ’80s Pop Icon?  I was no Rick Springfield, not even close.  Sad, I accepted my reality.  A sweaty middle aged dad on a stationary bike, certainly not Rick Springfield.  As I spun on with an up, down, hover, turn it up two clicks, I smiled.  Sure, I wasn’t Rick Springfield, but for five seconds or so, I truly believed that I was considered “easy on the eyes” and as the song goes “I play along with the charade.”

Sure, he’s handsome, but I bet he cannot bake a cookie worth a lick.

Take that Rick Springfield from 36 years ago.

You know Winter is about to crash upon us, when the snowblower won’t start and it breaks your soul.  It simply breaks your soul.

I am nothing now.  Just a man with a shovel and the odds not in his favor.

I came home to find a lone mini chocolate chip sitting on the counter.

Had the boys fixed me a yummy dessert?

Sadly, no dessert was to be found.  Only the one chocolate chip.  I had just stumbled upon unauthorized snack activities.

My chocolate dreams shattered, with only a solitary mini chip for solace.