The other day, I was standing in front of the microwave at work, as it counted down the seconds. Then for some inexplicable reason, I reached out and stopped the timer at 0:01.  One second remaining, I stopped the process.  It was not that I wanted to get my beverage that much quicker.  It was not that I didn’t feel that second was essential to the heating process.  It was not even related to my mild dislike of the beeping sound that accompanies the microwave’s completion.  I have found that this habit has been formed from watching far too many movies where the protagonist must stop a bomb’s timer just before it explodes.

Yep, I may look like just another schmuck standing impatiently by the microwave, but in reality I am living out a harrowing childhood fantasy. Think James Bond defusing the bomb at the end of “Goldfinger,” where the countdown clock is stopped at 0:07.  Ha!  I beat that by six seconds on a daily basis.  So next time your day is plodding along at work, just think, you can play secret agent saving the world all just a few short steps away in the breakroom.  Plus, you end up with a hot beverage at the end or even popcorn, if you are super (spy) ambitious.

Coincidently, this is exactly how I look at work, only minus the cigarette. Oh and located in the breakroom, instead.  Oh and far less Scottish.  Other than those things, this is exactly how I look at work.

This “Add Excitement to your Day” Tip has been brought to you by the Screen Writers Guild, recycling the same old defuse-the-bomb-with-only-one-second-remaining script, since 1933.

This October, my friend Adam provided me with a treat of a lifetime, a trip to Chicago’s Superdawg drive-in. Featured in Patricia Schultz’s book “1,000 Places to See Before You Die, A Traveler’s Life List,” Superdawg is certainly a sight to behold and a flavorful punch to enjoy.

Superdawg (caveman meets processed meat?) and his lady friend.

Sitting under the odd glare of Superdawg and Ms. Superdawg (just a guess on that one), we feasted on Chicago-style hot dogs served to perfection.

Served with a pickle spear on top…  “Is this Gastrointestinal Heaven?  No, it’s Superdawg.”

Wanting to commemorate the event, since now I only have 999 more places to visit before I die, I ordered myself a gray Superdawg t-shirt. Playing it safe, I ordered a XL sized shirt and gleefully returned to Minnesota with my incredible new shirt in tow.

Official Superdawg apparel

Bounding downstairs, while wearing my new Superdawg shirt, I awaited my family’s accolades. Instead, I received sort of a worried stare.  Yes, the XL shirt was a little snug on me.  Horror of horrors, I had apparently graduated to XXL.  This is a life change I am unwilling to accept.  The move to large was okay.  It’s okay to be a large man.  The move to XL was a little insulting.  Hey buddy, now you are above large, you’re extra large.  The move to XXL however is just not right.  Now, you are extra extra large.  As if being extra big was not enough, now I am double extra huge.  No, the line must be drawn here!

As a result, for the last nine days, I have been especially good about keeping my calorie count down and kicking up my exercise. Unfortunately, the side effects are becoming slightly harmful.  This evening, while preparing dinner, I went to return the kitchen shears to their home in the knife block and accidently tried to plunge the scissors into the kitchen radio.  Oh dear, my extreme dieting appears to have made me mildly delirious and a tad bit dangerous to myself.  “Superdawg, please help!  Feed me!”

The poor radio almost bit it at 6:17PM.

There may not be a Superdawg within reach, but you certainly can enjoy this super taste combo. Combine fluffy pumpkin cookies with the rich flavor of molasses and kick in a blast of pumpkin spice flavor.  Yep, these cookies are that good.  Enjoy!

PUMPKIN MOLASSES COOKIES

½ cup Butter

1 cup Sugar

½ cup Pumpkin

¼ cup Molasses

1 Egg

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2 1/3 cups Flour

2 teaspoons Baking Soda

½ teaspoon Salt

½ teaspoon Cinnamon

¼ teaspoon Ginger

10 ounce package Pumpkin Spice Morsels

1/3 cup Sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream butter and 1 cup sugar.

Mix in pumpkin, molasses, egg, and vanilla. Set aside.

Combine flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and ginger.

Mix “flour mixture” into “pumpkin mixture.”

Stir in pumpkin spice morsels.

Refrigerate dough for 1 hour, if you would like it to be easier to handle.

Form tablespoon size balls of dough and roll in 1/3 cup sugar.

Place sugar coated balls of dough onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 12 minutes.

Makes about 46 cookies.

Revised Source: “Pumpkin Spice Molasses Cookies” recipe on back of Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Morsels wrapper.

Well, it is the night of the midterm elections, so let’s enjoy some pork, as we see who is sent to Washington.

I consider myself a good shopper. I’m pretty good at judging when generics are a quality equivalent.  I can run an efficient route around the store.  I know where the free coffee is located.  Yep, I’m a pretty good shopper.

Well, every now and then I begin to doubt myself and my grocery shopping abilities, when Charlene sneaks something new and different onto the grocery list. This past week it was (drum roll, please)…  the other white meat, pork.  Not just any old pork, but on sale $2.99/pound Pork Shoulder Blade Roast.  Since I am not a pork fan, this really put me out of my element, but I decided to give it my best try.

Strolling through the meat department, I thought I located the pork product in question, but several questions remained. Did she really want a mound of pork this huge?  I mean it was gigantic.  Had I truly found the right product?  I was unsure.  One final issue, the package said, “Pork Butt Roast,” instead of “Pork Shoulder Blade Roast.”  Now, I did not major in anatomy or veterinary sciences in college, but I am pretty sure that a Butt is different from a Should Blade and last time I looked they also seemed to be located on different ends of the pig.

Full of doubt, I asked the butcher. Sure enough, I had located the sale pork and given the size of the roast, Charlene was planning Porkapalooza 2014.  Cradling the roast, since it did not seem right to put my hand on the Pork Butt, I carried it out to the car and placed it in the back with the other groceries.  Somehow, this just didn’t seem right either.  A butt belongs in a seat and this bad boy was just a little too small to ride in the passenger seat.  Luckily, I had a booster seat open in the second row.  Now, I am still somewhat unsure as to whether or not I purchased the right pork product, but I am pretty sure that I should no longer be left alone to in the meat department.

The Pork Butt safely buckled in and ready to roll.

Over the next 90 days, our house will celebrate the birthdays of our three boys, as well as Christmas. As a result, annually this time of year, we are looking for gift ideas.  Lots of gift ideas.

In an attempt to be proactive, I grabbed a notepad and pen, rounded up the boys, and headed to Target. After two hours of strolling through the aisles (yes, two hours of gift possibility review…  this man is determined to be prepared), we finally finished up and headed toward the exit.  On the way, we passed the groceries section and there to the great pleasure of my eyes was a new flavor of Nestle Toll House Morsels, “Pumpkin Spice.”

Grabbing a bag, I awaited the new baking pleasures that would soon be filling our oven. I needed to look no further than the back of the bag, which contained the below recipe for Blondies.  These yummy bars will be a welcome addition to any kitchen table.  Orange morsels packing a pumpkin spice blend flavor cuddled within a soft cookie.  Delicious and well worth a try, enjoy.

PUMPKIN SPICE BLONDIES

¾ cup Butter

1¾ cups Brown Sugar

3 Eggs

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2¼ cups Flour

2½ teaspoons Baking Powder

½ teaspoon Salt

1 1/3 cups Pumpkin Spice Morsels

1/3 cup Pumpkin Spice Morsels

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream butter and brown sugar.

Mix in eggs and vanilla extract. Set aside.

Combine flour, baking powder, and salt.

Gradually mix “flour mixture” into “butter mixture.”

Stir in 1 1/3 cups Pumpkin Spice Morsels.

Grease a 15”x10” pan.

Spread the dough into 15”x10” pan.

Sprinkle with 1/3 cup Pumpkin Spice Morsels.

Bake for 25 minutes or until golden brown.

Makes about 40 bars.

Revised Source: Back of Nestle Toll House “Pumpkin Spice Morsels” wrapper.  “Pumpkin Spice Blondie Cookie Bars.”

Every Halloween, I decorate the front of the house with “Pumpkin” leaf bags. Every November 1, I take the bags to the brush site.

This year, I made three trips. The first trip, I waved to the brush site attendant and he admired the dozen pumpkin filled leaf bags stuffed into our Ford Freestyle.  The second trip, he was impressed that we had more bags.  The third trip, he remarked with a smile, “You must have scared the Hell out of the neighbor kids with those pumpkin leaf bags.”  No sir, they didn’t frighten any kids, but raking up the leaves was certainly a horrific task.

Now we wait for the next labor intensive decoration, the return of the neighborhood snowmen.

Every November 1, the same dilemma grips households across America. What to do with all of those Fun Size candy bars that are less popular among family members?  Our oldest son, Jacob, is allergic to nuts and as a result, we look for ways to unload peanut candies without shoveling all of them into Dad’s mouth.

Well, here is a solution for some of those mini goodies… cookies that perfectly complement those mini Baby Ruth, Snickers, and Milky Way candy bars that have overrun your kitchen counter.

Start unwrapping and get ready to share these post-Halloween treats.

DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN COOKIES

½ cup Butter

¾ cup Sugar

1 Egg

½ teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1 1/3 cups Flour

½ teaspoon Baking Soda

½ teaspoon Salt

6 Fun Size Baby Ruth candy bars, chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream butter and sugar.

Mix in egg and vanilla extract. Set aside.

Combine flour, baking soda, and salt.

Mix “flour mixture” into “butter mixture.”

Stir in chopped pieces of Fun Size Baby Ruth candy bars.

Drop teaspoons of dough onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 10 minutes or until lightly browned.

Makes about 30 cookies.

Revised Source: “Baby Ruth Cookies” from Taste of Home.

Halloween 2014 seemed to be going well.

We had Black Widow, Batman, Superman, and Captain America…

but who invited the Joker?  There goes the neighborhood.

You’ve purchased the candy, assembled the costumes, carved the pumpkins, and are now waiting for your roasted pumpkin seeds to pop out of the oven.

Well, no need to worry. CookiesbyDave.com has your evening’s entertainment (drum roll, please)…  “Man versus Fox Stole,” the latest in Scholastic’s “Who Would Win?” series.

 Spoiler Alert:  the Tiger won the battle shown on the card game.

Navigating the narrow attic crawl space, the full grown man spots a fox fur stole from the Kennedy administration peering out from a plastic storage container. Before he has time to react, the very deceased fox lunges at the man.  Attempting to flee, the man realizes that he should have had a smaller lunch and finds it difficult to back out of the crawl space.  As the fox stole closes in on victory, both parties realize that the fox is long dead and would be better displayed during a night on the town.  Camelot never left, it has just been in storage.

That fox had been waiting years for this moment to strike!

ONCE-A-YEAR TOASTED PUMPKIN SEEDS

2 cups Pumpkin Seeds

1/8 cup Butter, melted

½ teaspoon Garlic Powder

¼ teaspoon Salt

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Mix together pumpkin seeds, melted butter, garlic powder, and salt.

Spread evenly on baking sheet.

Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes or until toasted, while stirring every 15 minutes.

Cool completely on baking sheet.

Makes about 6 servings

Revised Source: “Spicy Roasted Pumpkin Seeds” on allrecipes.com

Roasting pumpkin seeds in action.

Check out today’s West Central Tribune (Willmar, MN) for exciting superhero coverage  🙂

“Batman, AKA Dave Paulsen, and Batboy, Paulsen’s son Ben, 5, entertain costumed children with heroic deeds and reading books about his fellow superheroes’ daring deeds. Batman turns 75 years old this year, and to mark the occasion, Willmar Public Library hosted a superhero party where children, ages 3 to 10 were invited to come dressed as their favorite superhero.”

For one night (late afternoon?) and one night only, Dave Paulsen is “Batman”…  reading superhero books to young kids at the Willmar Public Library from 4PM to 4:45PM.

Please, note this is an officially endorsed event, so don’t be scared.

For more info, visit…

http://www.willmarpubliclibrary.org/children.html

Bruce Wayne would be proud.

PS – I forgot to mention that it is tonight (this afternoon?)…  Tuesday, October 28.  See you there.  Same Bat-Time.  Same Bat-Channel.