This morning, our 7-year-old Sam entered our bedroom to announce that there was a pecking noise in his room.  After I woke up, moved the dog slightly, and gained my bearings, I heard Charlene explain to Sam that the sound was just the furnace heating their room.  Satisfied with the answer, Sam announced that he was headed downstairs for breakfast.

A few minutes later, I followed Sam downstairs and discovered that the thought of breakfast was soon replaced in the minds of our little ones by Saturday morning cartoons.  I now had a window of time to prepare food.  Starting our favorite oatmeal dish, I put some butter in the microwave for melting.  After the first 45 seconds, it still needed a few more seconds to fully melt.  I placed the butter back in the microwave for another 20 seconds and went about preparing other aspects of the dish.  About 19 seconds later, I heard something that is never good, when associated with a microwave.  “Pop!”  Reluctantly opening the microwave, the entire cup of melted butter appeared to have been transported to the ceiling of the microwave.  Either I had discovered the secret of teleportation or I had managed to explode an ingredient.  Sadly, it was the later.

Mopping up the butter, my mind reflected on some of the benefits of exploding butter.  The microwave would now be clean.  I got to witness butter dripping from a ceiling and how often do you get to see that?  Also, whatever dish that we now heat in the microwave will have a wonderful buttery flavor.  Yes, things were starting to look up and it all started with a “Pop!”

Charlene and I have been using this baked oatmeal recipe for years.  When served with milk and brown sugar, the baked oatmeal gains new life and a wonderfully silky texture.  The best part, no Amish were harmed during the creation of this dish.  Enjoy.

AMISH OATMEAL

3 cups Quick-Cooking Oats

1 cup Sugar

1 cup Milk

½ cup Butter

2 Eggs

2 teaspoons Baking Powder

1½ teaspoons Salt

2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract

2 cups Frozen Blueberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Melt butter.

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl.

Transfer to a greased 13”x9” baking pan.

Bake for 30 minutes or until the edges are golden brown.

Serve warm with milk and brown sugar to your liking.

Makes 6 plus servings.

Revised Source:  Country Woman magazine, “Amish Baked Oatmeal.”

Why naturally, they are on the couch next to the dog.

What? Next to the dog? On the couch? It appears as if the misplaced socks are the first domino in a long line of civil disobedience in the Paulsen house. Next up, the dog eating dinner at the table, next to Jacob’s socks, of course.

It was one of those days.  I woke up and my hair had this huge swoosh about it.  The kind of swoosh that if I let it grow out, it will soon resemble the hair swoosh made famous by Hermey the Elf, who wants to be a dentist and was featured in “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” the stop motion television classic.  Yes, my hair was that bad.

Dave and Hermey…  Separated at birth?

Eager to correct the situation, I took a shower and applied plenty of corrective hair gel.  Now, I felt ready to go about my day, which included dropping off some toys that we had cleaned out of our shed.  It was a cute collection, including the little basketball hoop that young Jacob used to spend hours playing with, two tiny toy lawnmowers, and two small kiddy scooters.  It was a drop off that symbolized my children getting older, but it was also necessary to free up some space in the shed.

Pulling into a charitable thrift store, which will go unnamed but usually has some “Good” products I “Will” consider purchasing, I began to unload the car.  That is when I experienced something new, a not so “Good” feeling that “Will” haunt me.  One by one, they began rejecting my shipment of toys.  Either they did not accept wheeled riding toys or they just did not like the looks of our well used, but fully functional toys.  The basketball hoop that my boy so loved especially hurt, when she said, “We’ll pass on that.”  What in the Hasbro?  You’ll pass on it?  So this beloved toy that we are finally ready to part with is not “Good” enough?  If only I could “Will” you to accept it.  So sad, they only took one tiny lawnmower.  The rest were deemed to be misfit toys.  Sad, so sad.

Now, since Santa will not come for a few more weeks and I don’t have a sleigh with little toy parachutes, our trashcan will become of the “Island of Misfit Toys.”  So if you would like a fun little toy, that apparently no longer qualifies as “Good” and I could not “Will” it any other way, feel free to take one home.  They will be out by our trashcan, until Monday morning, when the toys will end up in the rear of the trash truck, the only place willing to accept them.  Now, time to get my hair cut.  Goodbye, Hermey swoosh.

The original Misfit Toys.

My head a in a newly christened Misfit Toy.  I look upset enough to appeal the ruling.

Need to rid a bad taste from your mouth?  I have just the thing for you.  These rich Chocolate Crinkles turn out chocolaty and delicious.  Rolled in an extra layer of sugar, these sweet treats will be just the thing to turn your day around and at 3 inches across, they are guaranteed to fill your belly with cookie happiness.  Enjoy.

DOUBLE SUGAR EXTRA LARGE CHOCOLATE CRINKLES

4 ounces Unsweetened Chocolate

4 tablespoons Butter

1½ cups Brown Sugar

3 Eggs

4 teaspoons Espresso Powder

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1 cup Flour

½ cup Cocoa Powder

1 teaspoon Baking Powder

¼ teaspoon Baking Soda

½ teaspoon Salt

½ cup Sugar

½ cup Powdered Sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Chop unsweetened chocolate.  Combine with butter and melt in the microwave.  Set aside.

Mix together the brown sugar and eggs.

Mix in the espresso powder and vanilla extract.

Mix in the melted “chocolate butter mixture.”  Set aside.

Combine the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Gradually, mix the “flour mixture” into the “brown sugar mixture.”  Set aside for 10 minutes.

Place ½ cup sugar and ½ cup powdered sugar in separate dishes.

Take 2 tablespoon size balls of dough, roll first in the regular sugar, then in the powdered sugar.

Place balls of dough on parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 12 minutes or until the edges have begun to set.

Makes about 20 cookies.

Revised Sources:  Cook’s Illustrated “Chocolate Crinkle Cookies” and fellow cookie baker extraordinaire, Mary LaPatka.

Our bedroom has been rather chilly.  Now stop it right there.  I know what you’re thinking.  Stop or I’ll turn this car around.  Any who, the boiler’s zone that controls heat to the bedrooms has been on the fritz and as a result, when I wake up each morning, frost has formed on the tip of my nose.  Something had to be done, so I picked up the only tool I know how to use for home repairs, the phone.

Calling the HVAC folks, I got the bad news.  “We can be out there next Tuesday.”  Ugh, it’s Thursday.  Tuesday is a long way off, when you have an ice cold bedroom.  So I put on my sleeping cap and headed on down to the boiler room to see if I could fix the boiler myself.  Recognizing that I had only about a ½ percent chance of fixing the situation, I had my doubts, but I also figured that I had very little to lose.  Really, last time I looked in the boiler room there was nothing frightening.  No Freddy Krueger, no hungry rodents, nothing of any concern, just a very warm room and a lot of pipes leading all over the place.

Entering the boiler room, I started feeling the pipes (the one thing I picked up from previous HVAC heater repair visits).  If the pipe is hot, it’s working.  If it’s cold, it’s not.  Finding a cold pipe, I figured that I had found the problem.  Great deduction, Sherlock, now what?

Following the pipe away from the boiler, I found a valve.  Comparing it to the other readily visible valve, it appeared to be turned in the opposite direction.  Well, why not turn it?  What is the worst that could happen?  Don’t worry, my mind filled the void.  Hot water could burst out!  The pipe could explode!  The boiler could completely break!  My stupidity could be confirmed!  A lot of worsts could happen!

The Boiler Valve of Mystery and Unlimited Potential

Unfortunately, however, it is cold and that evening it would get colder.  Cuddling is only effective at warming people to about 5 below zero.  Fact.  Okay, it’s fabricated, but if I did not get this heater fixed, cuddling was unlikely with a spouse trying to figure out why Tuesday is the soonest I could get this fixed.  I had to address it.  I had to fix it now.  Turn the valve!  Turn it now!  It is your only hope!

So I reached up.  I turned the reluctant valve.  And…  nothing much happened.  No noise.  No angels descending from above.  No sudden heating of the bedroom.  Defeated, I slunk off to Office Max to purchase some ink for our computer printer.  Fact.

Heading upstairs later in the day, I found something miraculous had happened.  The bedroom appeared to have heated up.  Now, stop it!  I warned you.  Enough of those thoughts or I will turn this car around right now.  I promise I will.  Any who, perhaps the valve did the trick.  Perhaps, I was just lucky.  Who cares?  I would keep Tuesday’s appointment, as a safety net, but for today, for tonight, the bedroom would be hot.  That does it!  I’m turning around.

Well folks, Winter here in Minnesota has started off with a bang.  About a foot of snow, but the kicker is that none of it was “Snowman snow.”  Hum, maybe they have another month on their lease in Fairbanks.  Oh well, what to do?  At least, one little snowman showed up for the shoveling party, although I think he may be too young to be smoking a pipe.

So imagine yourself cruising through the Greek isles, wind blowing through your hair, not a care in the world, and oh yes, a delicious cookie in your hand. Well, I cannot whisk you off to the Mediterranean, but I can bring you a taste of Greece.  Living the Spartan lifestyle of self-sacrifice, this sugar free and partially whole wheat cookie gives the illusion of healthy eating, while providing a delicious flavor combination.  Chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, raisins, and craisins will all be waiting for you, as you bite into this Greek yogurt infused cookie morsel.  Enjoy.

GREEK YOGURT COOKIES

½ cup Butter

3 Egg Whites

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1 cup Plain Greek Yogurt

1 cup Flour

1 cup Whole Wheat Flour

1 teaspoon Baking Soda

¼ teaspoon Salt

¾ cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

¾ cup White Chocolate Chips

¾ cup Raisins

¾ cup Craisins

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cream butter.

Mix in the egg whites, vanilla extract, and plain Greek yogurt. Set aside.

Combine the flour, whole wheat flour, baking soda, and salt.

Gradually, mix the “flour mixture” into the “yogurt mixture.”

Stir in the semi-sweet chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, raisins, and craisins.

Drop tablespoon sized amounts of batter onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown.

Makes about 30 cookies.

Revised Source: “Crazy about Cookies” by Krystina Castella, “Chocolate Chunk Yogurt Cookies.”

I was very proud of today’s selfie, taken during our first sledding outing of the season, until I realized that my nose looks a lot like Jimmy Durante’s schnoz. Frosty the Snowman would agree.

In honor of today’s blizzard in Minnesota, I would like to highlight the Snowball Cookie (even though today’s snow was not very good for snowballs, snowmen, or sledding, and there was a lot of it to go around). For this light powdered sugar covered delight with a jelly bean surprise inside, it is featured on page 57 of my cookie cookbook, “Today is a Great Day for a Cookie.”  Enjoy.

Cookbook

Back in 1989, the Berlin Wall came down, but my strongest memories are associated with the next day. I arrived at school and realized that my friends shared the same hopes and dreams.  In that afternoon’s German class, we all hoped that we would be discussing the fall of the wall, rather than conjugating verbs.  Sadly, upon arrival to class, our hopes and dreams were dashed, as the regularly scheduled lesson proceeded as planned.  The entire global political balance had shifted with the end of the Cold War and we were destined to spend the day learning the gender associations of various nouns.  The world outside had forever changed, but Battle Creek Central High School marched on.

Battle Creek Central High School, where the students first demanded and later Reagan repeated, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”

In order to celebrate this anniversary, I bring to you a cookie of sweet harmony, as two sides of the same sugary coin meet. Brown Sugar and Gumdrops unite, much the same way that East Germany and West Germany were unified so long ago.

Colorful gumdrops peeking through brown sugar goodness.

This cookie fails to provide the visually stunning impact normally associated with a cookie that has jewel in its name, but its flavor does not disappoint. Rich brown sugar and flavorful gumdrops dance together in a rich celebration of sweet oneness.  Enjoy.

JEWELED GUMDROP COOKIES

1 cup Shortening

2 cups Brown Sugar

2 Eggs

½ cup Buttermilk

3½ cups Flour

1 teaspoon Baking Soda

1 teaspoon Salt

3 cups Gumdrops

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Using a kitchen shears, snip the gumdrops in half.

Cream shortening and brown sugar.

Mix in eggs and buttermilk. Set aside.

Combine flour, baking soda, and salt.

Gradually, mix “flour mixture” into “buttermilk mixture.”

Stir in the snipped gumdrops.

Drop tablespoons of dough onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 8 minutes or until only light indentation remains when touched.

Makes about 36 cookies.

Revised Source: Betty Crocker’s “Cooky Book” from 1963, “Jeweled Cookies.”

Long before we had kids and long before I could really bake anything other than a frozen pizza, I would wake up on Saturday mornings and wander into the foreign land of the kitchen to bake blueberry muffins. Yep, long before I was “Cookie Dave,” I was the “Muffin Man.”  Every now and then, I return to my muffin roots and bake a batch of “Dave’s Saturday Morning Blueberry Muffins.”  Oddly enough, my cookies have never been published, but my blueberry muffin recipe appeared in a family cookbook.  So this morning, whip up some blueberry muffins and join the Muffin Man in pure blueberry delight.

My early morning baking companion, 7-year-old Sam. Note the pizza box in the background from Friday night’s dinner.  We feasted on Little Caesar’s Pretzel Crust Pizza, which by the way is delicious with the perfect balance of pretzel texture, salt, and cheese dipping sauce, which is used in lieu of regular pizza sauce.  As I stood in line for the “Hot-N-Ready” pizza, I soon realized what a popular place Little Caesar’s lobby is on a Friday night and that this would not be a speedy trip.  Sensing that I would need to buy time, prior to a potential child whine fest, I gave the boys each a quarter to get a bouncy ball out of the lobby vending machine.  My strategy worked really well and purchased some time, but unfortunately I am now punished at the breakfast table, as my 10-year-old mindlessly bounces the ball on the table, while we eat our muffins.  Sort of a Chinese water (bouncy ball?) torture for a parent, who once had good intentions.  Dear God, please make the bouncing stop.

DAVE’S SATURDAY MORNING BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

1¾ cups Flour

½ cup Sugar

2 teaspoons Baking Powder

¼ teaspoon Salt

1 Egg

¾ cup Milk

¼ cup Vegetable Oil

1 teaspoon Lemon Juice

1 cup Blueberries

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.

Make a well in the center for the wet ingredients and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together egg, milk, vegetable oil, and lemon juice.

Pour “wet ingredients” into well in the “dry ingredients” bowl.

Stir until just combined.

Fold in blueberries.

Grease a 12 cup muffin pan. Evenly distribute batter between the 12 muffin cups.  They will end up about 2/3 full.

Bake for 18-20 minutes or until golden brown.

Upon removing the muffins from the oven, top each muffin with a small dap of butter.

Makes 12 muffins.

Revised Source: Better Homes and Garden’s “New Cook Book,” as well as the Zaugg Family 2000 Cookbook, “Potatoes, Bread, and Milk…  Good Food.”

Well, I am certainly into the Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Morsels. Perhaps this could lead to my first sponsor.  Hey, one can dream.

Today, I gave their “Oatmeal Pumpkin Spice Cookies” a try and they turned out delicious. The cookies have the classic pumpkin cookie fluffy quality, but the addition of oats provide a nice contrasting texture, while the Pumpkin Spice chips give the cookie a flavor boost.  So grab a bag of Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Morsels, whip up some of these cookies, and enjoy them with a mug of hot apple cider.  Autumn to the max.

PS – Keep in mind the Pumpkin Spice Morsels are available for a limited time only, so when they disappear from the store shelves feel free to use raisins as a substitute.

OATMEAL PUMPKIN COOKIES

½ cup Butter

¼ cup Sugar

½ cup Brown Sugar

½ cup Pumpkin

1 cup Flour

1 cup Quick Cooking Oats

1 teaspoon Baking Soda

1 teaspoon Baking Powder

½ teaspoon Salt

½ teaspoon Cinnamon

¼ teaspoon Nutmeg

1 cup Pumpkin Spice Chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream butter, sugar, and brown sugar.

Mix in the pumpkin. Set aside.

Combine the flour, oats, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg.

Gradually mix the “flour mixture” into the “pumpkin mixture.”

Stir in the pumpkin spice chips.

Drop by tablespoons onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown.

Makes about 42 cookies.

Revised Source: Nestle’s verybestbaking.com, “Oatmeal Pumpkin Spice Cookies.”