Headed off to work, I figured I would take a short detour and recycle some cardboard remnants from Christmas that were perched in the garage.  As I drove blissfully along, the radio began playing Hall and Oates’ “You Make My Dreams Come True.”  This created a perfect sing along moment.  “What I got,” well I got that special something to pull off a solo Hall and Oates sing along.

Finishing with the recycling and after the song’s completion, I began scanning the radio dial and what did I find?  Hall and Oates singing “Kiss On My List.”  Sure it isn’t as good a song to sing along with, but how often are you blessed with a Hall and Oates double header.  Blessed?  Yes, blessed, because in a strange way embracing (figure of speech, not an actual embrace) Hall and Oates is defending my age demographic.

Several years ago, we hosted some colleagues at our house for dinner.  During the course of our conversation, I made a Hall and Oates reference.  Our colleagues, who were about ten years younger than us, looked at me with confusion.  They had never heard of Daryl Hall and John Oats!  How could they not know Hall and Oates?  The band once had their record nestled in amongst my older sister’s album collection, right next to “Men at Work.”  Well, I tried to help my younger peers relate, “They were a band from the same era as ‘Air Supply.’”  Again, more blank stares.  I was not about to defend “Air Supply,” but “Hall and Oates” were different.  My younger friends were simply out of touch, not out of time (wink to clever Hall and Oates reference).  Ever since, Hall and Oates have held a special place in my middle aged heart.

Hall and Oates, those boys really need to towel off.

Arriving at work, I received two complements.  One referred to me as a “burst of energy” (in a good way) and the other “smooth” (in my resolution of a situation).  I was living life good.  I was having a Hall and Oates kind of day.

Rushing to my lunchtime Spin Class, I settled onto a bike and heard an astounding third Hall and Oates song of the day, “Maneater.”  Absolutely amazing.  As I peddled along, whistling probably to the annoyance of my fellow class members (they would not understand), I soon realized that I had “tired legs.”  The class was really going to be a struggle.  There I was sweating like a pig.  My legs hurt.  Plus, with about 15 minutes to go, I was running short on water.  That is when it struck me, I was living the Hall and Oates “H2O” album cover.  Daryl Hall would be oh so proud.

I never realized, before today, that my sister owned the alternate album cover for “H2O,” which would serve as a nice prop for an antiperspirant advertisement.

Reaching the end of class, I knew what I was going to have for lunch.  Greek yogurt (suave, like an 80s rock duo) with steel cut (wait for it) oats.  Oh, how clever Mr. Paulsen.  John Oates would certainly be proud.  I had embraced the moment and in a way, my day was being steered by the wonder of Hall and Oates.

Next I traveled to the grocery store (living the life of a real rock star).  Wandering through the produce aisles, I saw some flowers and I figured I would pick up some for my wife (very romantic, just like Hall and Oates).  That is when I saw a gorgeous out-of-season purple hyacinth.  Perfect.

Finishing my shopping, I heard the cashier say, “They smell beautiful (in reference to the potted flower).”  To which, I responded, “They smell like Spring.”  Suddenly, I realized that was a very un-Hall and Oates thing to say.  I was in danger of losing the moment.  It hung in the balance.  As she continued scanning groceries and I frantically loaded sacks of groceries, the checker looked up and asked, “Are these turnips?”  In an authoritative voice I answered, “No, they are parsnips.”  Ugh, Daryl Hall and John Oates certainly never said, “No, they are parsnips.”  Maybe Farmer Pickles of “Bob the Builder” fame would say that (yep, a clever Spud from “Bob the Builder” fame reference), but certainly never Hall and Oates.

The moment was over, but I felt so blessed.  How many people ever get to experience a “Hall and Oates Moment?”  How many never even realize that they are experiencing one?  I had indeed been blessed, in such a complete Hall and Oates kind of way.

I may never be the same…

“’Cause, I ain’t the way you found me

and I’ll never be the same, oh yeah.

Well ’cause you (ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh)

You make (a) my dreams come true.”

Our Second Grader Sam came home from school with his usual homework. After finishing up, I reviewed his math, ignored his horrible penmanship, and prepared to return it to his backpack. That is when I saw it, a strange frightened squirrel clutching a nut in the bottom right corner of the page.

What does a harried looking squirrel have to do with subtraction? Is someone trying to steal his nut? Has he been asked a confusing math question? Is a predator preparing to attack? Is he just acting like a typical frantic squirrel? The website under the squirrel references “Have Fun Teaching.” Are unrelated bits of clip art really a way to “Have Fun Teaching?”

Confused and a little worried, I returned the paper to Sam’s backpack (after scanning it for my use, of course) and thanked the good Lord that I never have to relive the confusion and awkwardness (and squirrels?) associated with Second Grade.

As I attempted to hurry 7-year-old Sam and 6-year-old Ben into the Y Center for swim classes on a super-duper-cold-wind-chill-well-below-zero night, I began to worry about their directional abilities.

First they headed well off target, as we entered the building. Next, they needed two course corrections upon exiting.

I began to consider what was causing these problems, as all I wanted to do was hurry from the car inside and back again.

Possibility One – They are developing an elaborate route to and from the building, in the event someone or something is tracking them. Paranoia.

Possibility Two – They randomly travel in straight lines from place to place, unless something or someone gets their attention. Behavior normally associated with the ghosts on Pac-Man.

Possibility Three – The further the temperature drops, the less common sense they exhibit. Not a good sign for long term survival in Minnesota’s permafrost landscape.

Possibility Four – Good ol’ directional impairment, where they demonstrate an enhanced ability to turn off their brains. Hereditary source, passed on from their father.

I’m thinking Number 4, but you be the judge…

Exhibit A (my first and only exhibit)

I rest my case.

I was being so good.  After shoveling, I entered the house for a reasonable breakfast.  One raspberry yogurt.  Dave 1 – Forces of Evil 0

Heading out of the house, I grabbed another yogurt and stored it in my briefcase.  As my lunchtime meeting approached, I retrieved my yogurt and found that it was also raspberry.  Too much raspberry for one day, but I was being good.  Score one for both sides.  Dave 2 – Forces of Evil 1

Finally realizing what was bothering me at work, I discovered a raspberry seed stuck in my back teeth.  Several glasses of water and plenty of sloshing around, I was finally free of the tormenting seed.  Dave 2 – Forces of Evil 2

Trying to put together a quick dinner, before swim classes, my wife asked if I would make some Hungry Jack potatoes to go with Swedish meatballs.  Suffering from major diet induced hunger, I began gazing at the pot full of instant potatoes.  So creamy.  So yummy.  So right there.  Jack really knows his potato flakes.  I resisted the urge to stick my head directly into the pot.  Amazing demonstration of willpower.  Dave 3 – Forces of Evil 2

Sitting here, typing up a “Story of the Day,” I reflect on my hunger pangs, but take great pride in a day of successful dieting.  Score one for both sides.  Dave 4 – Forces of Evil 3

Game, set, match, and a reasonable serving of instant potatoes to boot.  Take that Forces of Evil.

[signed]

Faint from Hunger (and, I know, Improper Dieting) Dave

Our worst fears look as if they are becoming a reality. 11-year-old Jacob’s socks have adapted to the basement couch environment and are now almost completely camouflaged. Scientists predicted that it would take hundreds if not thousands of years for the socks to evolve this stealth capability. Watch out where you sit, because they were wrong.

Even worse, the socks appear to be nesting.

As the new year dawns, here is my first “Cookie of the Week” installment for 2015.  Each week, I plan on expanding my cookie horizon by exploring a new-to-me cookie.  Enjoy and welcome aboard this cookie adventure.

MEGA CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

“These large cookies (4 inches in diameter) are packed with chocolate chips and will delight any chocolate chip cookie fan.  Crunchy edges, moist center, and a delicate kiss of sea salt, these cookies provide everything you need, except the tall glass of milk.”  – Cookie Dave

¾ cup Butter

½ cup Sugar

½ cup Brown Sugar

1 Egg

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1¾ cups Flour

¾ teaspoon Baking Soda

¼ teaspoon Salt

4 cups (24 ounces) Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

Sea Salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cream butter, sugar, and brown sugar.

Mix in egg and vanilla extract.

Mix in flour, baking soda, and salt.

Stir in chocolate chips.

Place ¼ cup scoops of dough on parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Sprinkle the tops of the dough with a small amount of sea salt.

Bake 14 minutes.

Cookies will appear dark brown on the edges and light brown in the center.

Allow to cool for a minimum of 5 minutes on the baking sheets, before transferring to cooling racks.

Makes 15 large cookies.

Revised Source:  Recipe for “Chocolate Chunkoholic Cookies” in “The Cookie Bible” by Publications International.

You know Winter Break is ending soon, when the stuffed animals begin arming themselves.

Hang tough, Snowman.  We are proud of you.  You can do it.

Day One – Smoke Free

Over the last few years, I have put on a few pounds.  While I acknowledge that a lack of self-control coupled with getting older and a slowing metabolism has led to this, I must admit that I was unaware of the most sever consequence.  No, I’m not referencing any typical medical issues with developing a belly.  No, I’m not pregnant, although considering my rotund belly, people are probably concerned when I drink a beer.  No, I’m not even concerned that I occasionally need to purchase some tent sized clothing.  What I am most concerned about is an unintended consequence.  A side effect of life altering proportions is on the horizon.

Considering that I, at times, demonstrate extrovert tendencies, my persona has been described at worst as “flaky.”  Sure flaky is good for some types of cereal, but for a person, it can be bad.  Well, I have adjusted to the “flaky” review and somewhat embraced it.  Sadly, however add a few pounds and a “happy go lucky” personality becomes something much more troublesome than “flaky.”  Yes, my additional weight has put me at high risk for becoming “jolly.”

See, although I have adjusted to “flaky,” under no circumstance do I want to be known as “jolly.”  It is an image that I don’t want associated with me.  Bowls full of jelly and the like.  Yuck.  There has to be a reverse on this bullet train to “jolly.”  “Doctor, don’t hold back.  Tell me the truth.  I fear I have become (gasp!) ‘jolly.’”

So today, I vow to head to the gym.  I vow to exercise.  Sweat.  Run.  I vow to resist that extra snack.  Drink a cup of water.  Take the dog for a walk.  Yep, it all sounds kind of sad, but it is necessary.  Necessary to avoid “jolly.”  There is still time for plenty of good alternatives.  I still have time to embody “cheerful,” “merry,” “good-humored,” or even the thesaurus endorsed “ebullient,” but from this day forward, I vow to head away from “jolly.”

Rarely do I attempt cleaning the rooms of my boys.  Sure I run a vacuum over the path they maintain from the door to their beds, every now and then.  On the rare occasions I dust, I will also clean any of their surfaces that are clear, which are not many.  Sometimes, I even change the sheets on their beds, which when you consider the bunk bed, it can be a labor of love and acrobatics.  Kind of a Valentine’s Day presentation of Cirque du Soleil.

The level of filth in their rooms had however reached a level that was unavoidable.  A level of filth that was best embodied by the dog sticking his snout in a random pile of stuff on their floor.  Suddenly, Kirby the Beagle was munching away on something.  The problem was that the general landfill quality of the room prohibited us from even accurately guessing what Kirby was eating.  A Lego?  A stray piece of candy?  My personal guess, a dry piece of pasta from a school art project?  We will never know, but we did know that taking immediate action would be necessary.

Little by little we returned superhero toys to their correct storage box.  Recycled piles of miscellaneous school papers.  Found homes for random trinkets.  Reduced the number of treasurers on the top of each dresser to two per child.  We even cleared away knick-knacks from the windowsill, in the event it is ever warm enough again to open their windows.  In the end, we used a vacuum, but a shovel would have sure come in handy.

Returning from the basement with a load of clothes to be folded.  I heard the boys frolicking in their brother’s room.  There on the bed, strewn here and there, were the stuffed animals that we have just neatly packed into a Spiderman storage box.  The “Battle to Find the Floor” had moved to a new room.  New challenges awaited.  Sure that my shots were up-to-date, I dove right in.  Vacuum in one hand, shovel in the other.