Question:  What do you do when life gives you lemons?

Answer:  Make more than one lemon cookie recipe!

Today, in honor of the sour fruit, I present to you a bonus cookie of the week, Lemon Cake Mix Cookies.  Also, here’s the link, in case you missed yesterday’s Ricotta Lemon Cookies.  Enjoy.

LEMON CAKE MIX COOKIES

“What these cookies lack in terms of fancy, they make up for in easy.  These super simple cookies turn out very moist, with an intense lemon flavor.  Look no further for a fun option, when you are short on time.”

15.25 ounce package Lemon Cake Mix

2 Eggs

1/3 cup Vegetable Oil

1 teaspoon Lemon Extract

1/3 cup Powdered Sugar

 

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Pour the cake mix into a bowl.

Stir in the eggs, oil, and lemon extract.

Form tablespoon sized balls of dough.

Roll in powdered sugar to coat.

Place powdered sugar covered balls of dough on parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 9 minutes or until the cookie bottoms are lightly browned.

 

Makes about 27 cookies.

Revised Source:  “Easy Lemon Cookies” on allrecipes.com.

 

RICOTTA LEMON COOKIES

“For some time now, 6-year-old Ben has had a hankering for lemon cookies.  When he was home sick on Friday, we had a chance to browse the Internet for a fun new lemon cookie recipe.  Stumbling across this recipe featuring ricotta cheese, I knew we had found our cookie.  These cookies are cakey and rich in lemony flavor.  A true delight to satisfy your inner lemon desires.  Feel free to add some lemon zest to the glaze, in order to add an extra lemon punch.”

½ cup Butter

2 cups Sugar

2 Eggs

15 ounces Whole Milk Ricotta Cheese

3 Tablespoons Lemon Juice

Zest of a Lemon

2½ cups Flour

1 teaspoon Baking Powder

1 teaspoon Salt

1½ cups Powdered Sugar

3 Tablespoons Lemon Juice

 

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cream butter and sugar.

Mix in eggs, ricotta cheese, lemon juice, and lemon zest.

Mix in flour, baking powder, and salt.

Place tablespoons of dough on a parchment paper lined baking sheet.

Bake for 15 minutes or until you can see browning at the base of the cookie.  These cookies don’t brown on the top, so watch where the bottom edge meets the baking sheet.

Let cool.

Mix together the powdered sugar and lemon juice until they reach a drizzling consistency.

Drizzle glaze over the top of the cookies.

Let glaze completely set.

 

Makes about 50 cookies.

Revised Source:  “Lemon Ricotta Cookies with Lemon Glaze” on the Cooking Channel and courtesy of Glada De Laurentiis

 

Yesterday, I received that late morning phone call that as a parent we all dread.  The caller ID said it all, “Willmar Public Schools.”  The school nurse laughed as I immediately asked which child was sick.  It was our Kindergartener Ben.  His stomach hurt and he had a temp of 103 degrees.

Picking up Ben from school and returning home, you could tell that he was out of sorts, but after a dose of Tylenol and a morning full of rest, he was back in the game.  Getting ready to make lunch we turned on the radio to hear that our favorite program was on, “The All Request Lunch.”  As soup warmed up on the stove, I turned to Ben and asked what song he would like to hear.  Without hesitation, his first selection was “Brown Sugar,” our family’s baking anthem (I know, I know, the song’s subject matter is inappropriate for a 6-year-old.  Someday in the distant future, he’ll realize this and with shock say, “I thought that song was actually about ‘brown sugar.’  What was my dad thinking?”  Thankfully, that day is a long way off.)  Sending in our email request, within minutes, the DJ announced, “Now an email request for the ‘Rolling Stones’ from Ben.”

Excited, we looked at each other with the same thought.  We should “dance.”  Picking up Ben and preparing to swing him around the kitchen, I hesitated.  My mind raised a red flag and I asked Ben, “Should we dance when you have an upset stomach?”  Considering the question for a second, Ben smiled and shook his head from side-to-side.  Something amazing had just occurred.  Two souls without a lick of common sense between them had made the right call.  There would be no dancing, but in this instance, it was a good thing.  “Brown sugar, how come you taste so good?” 

This morning, Ben was asked to go to the kitchen for his medicine.  Even though he still needs rest, it appears as if his sense of humor is doing well.

 

I recently reported that 11-year-old Jacob’s socks had gone on a double date on the dining room hutch.  Well, it appears as if I should have sent along a pair of adult sized socks as chaperons.

Last evening, I took the boys to the Y Center.  Ben and Sam had swim classes, while Jacob and I ran 3 miles around the indoor track.  I packed the gym bag myself and we brought along the usual items:  towels, a change of clothes, and swimsuits for the younger boys.

As we completed our trip to the gym, I cleared out several lockers and threw all of the wet items into our two gym bags, which were soon stuffed full.  As I cleared out Jacob’s locker, what did I find on the bottom of the locker?  Not two, but three socks.  It appears as if one of Jacob’s gym socks had a baby!

Cleaning out gym lockers has never before been such a joyous occasion.  Plus, the age old question has been answered.  The gestation period for socks is 5 days.

 

Jacob’s socks, parents and baby, shown in a simulated locker room environment.  Thankfully, cameras and cell phones are prohibited from Y Center locker rooms, so simulated footage is the best I can provide.

Ah, the miracle of birth, sock style.

Being the middle child can be tough or so I’ve heard.  Always trying to keep up with your older brother, while at the same time maintaining a lead on your little brother.  Unsure of whether to look ahead or glance over your shoulder at who is coming up from behind.  That’s where we find our dear, enthusiastic, caring Sam.  Stuck in the middle.

Well, Sam recently had a high in that he was named “Star Student of the Week” for his class.  Being “Star Student” is an honor that features having a poster about you displayed in the classroom.  This week is Sam’s week (naturally for the middle child it is a holiday shortened four-day week) and Monday night we began the arduous task of gathering information for his poster.  Sure, Sam was excited about it on Friday night and wanted to finish up the poster, but I saw the large amount of effort that would need to be expended and put it off.  Off until the last minute.  Off until Monday night.  Way to go, Dad!

Sam and I settled into chairs in front of the computer to select photos of Sam and his family.  Look there’s a nice picture of you on your birthday (with of course your older brother in background).  Look there’s a nice picture of you (with of course your brothers on either side).  Oh well, these are nice pictures anyway.  Click on print.  Onto the next part of the poster, the birth information.  What?  Birth information?  The boy is in the second grade, do we really need to put his birth time, length, and weight on the poster?  I ceased remembering this information about an hour after he was born and now I need to recall it 8 years later.  A nearly impossible task.  Oh dear, we were in big trouble.

I turned to my wife, who has an excellent memory, which has been enhanced over the years, as a result of having an idiot husband.  She recalled the details for Sam, but asked if I would check to make sure it was correct.  So, Sam and I went to the file cabinet and looked in the “Legal Documents” folder, which is snug between the “JC Penney” and “Lowe’s” folders.  “Let’s see, Sam.  There’s the birth certificates for both of your brothers, but I don’t see your birth certificate in here.”  Seeing the sad look coming across his face, I responded, “I’m sure it’s in here.  It was probably just put in the wrong file.”  I probably missed the “Lowe’s” folder and put Sam’s information right into “Miscellaneous.”  Way to go, Dad.

Birth announcement.  We must have a birth announcement somewhere up in the attic.  No dice.  Perhaps, a call to my mom or my in-laws for the info.  No way.  That would just add “Pathetic Son” and “The-loser-man-who-married-my-daughter” to my resume that already features “Bad Daddy.”  Ugh.  “You know what Sam?  Your mom has a really great memory, so let’s just put down what she remembers.”  My middle son, lost.

Skip ahead three days and we arrive at this morning.  The house was hectic, as the boys were eating their breakfast.  Suddenly, Sam slides up next to me and asks, “Dad, did you fill out the ‘Jump Rope for Heart’ form.”  Ah yes, the annual fundraiser for the American Heart Association.  The annual fundraiser that inspires children with prizes for meeting certain fundraising goals.  The annual fundraiser that Sam has asked about nearly every day for two weeks.  The annual fundraiser, where I keep reassuring Sam that we have plenty of time remaining to make a donation and fill out the form.  The annual fundraiser, where Sam would really like to raise enough money to get a t-shirt.  The annual fundraiser that we give to, but now find ourselves with two children raising money for it.  Sam’s older brother Jacob’s solution:  put all of the money in Jacob’s name, earn a bigger prize, and when Jacob grows out of the shirt, he will give it to Sam.  Hmmm, sort of a good idea, but not so much.

I was sure that the form was due tomorrow (Friday), so I kept reassuring Sam that we have more time.  Every day, “Don’t worry, Sam.  We have plenty of time.”  By this morning (Thursday), however, I had had enough of the questioning and was ready to finally commit to filling out the forms and making the donations.  Going downstairs to the “Bill Pile,” I picked out the Jump Rope for Heart form and sure enough, it was due…  yesterday!  Wednesday!  I was a day late.  Sam looked crestfallen.  My middle son, forgotten.

[Sure it’s an excuse, but let me just vent a bit here, knowing that the form being late was my own fault, but really, who puts a deadline like that on a Wednesday?  Really?  Well, it sounds like it would have been a good excuse for me forgetting, if I had not just honestly completely remembered the wrong date.  Good job remembering something that is important to your son.  Way to go, Dad.]

Still, I tried to make things right.  I apologized, swiftly made on-line payments, and filled out their forms.  If all the stars aligned, it would be okay.  Either way, we were still giving money to the American Heart Association (fat lotta comfort that is to an 8-year-old who wanted to earn a t-shirt).  Sam seemed worried, but understanding of the outcome.

Packing the kids into the car to drive them to school (it is still really cold here), I glanced in the backseat to see Sam softly crying.  Asking him what was wrong, Sam indicated that he was worried about the forms being late.  Feeling oh so small, I recommended that he ask his teacher first thing if it was okay to turn in the forms a day late, because his dad forgot the deadline.  Sam seemed to take this advice.  “Seemed to,” which was the best I could hope to achieve at this point.  Way to go, Dad.

After having dropped off the kids, I started the drive to work.  Flipping through the radio dial, I ran across the one song that indicated without a doubt that the universe was frowning at me, “Cat’s in the Cradle.”  So one day, when grownup Sam forgets where he placed my Medicare card (Ha!  As if there will be a Medicare around when I am old.  That unlikely scenario makes my pessimistic soul chuckle.) and misses driving me to my doctor’s appointment by one full day, just remind me that “My boy is just like me.”

Sam at bedtime with his “Bad Daddy.”

After one suspense filled day, I am happy to report that the Minecraft Pig, which was pinch hitting for Baby Jesus in the King Cake (all is explained at “Baby Jesus on the Loose”, plus here’s the link for the King Cake recipe), was found.  It happened at breakfast, as 6-year-old Ben, the last member of the family to arrive at the breakfast table selected the lucky piece of King Cake.  Also lucky in that he did not choke on the Minecraft Pig…

Ben showing off the frosting covered Minecraft Pig and his older brother Jacob, who appears to have spent the whole morning as a “floating head and shoulders.”

Speaking of choking (“Awkward Transition of the Day…”  consider yourself lucky that I’m not actually speaking with you, because there’s a “Train (wreck) of Thought” going on here), there I was at work trying to be a good boy.  Trying not to get over caffeinated.  Trying to keep my teeth pearly white, after a recent cleaning.  Trying to stay warm on a cold day.  As a result, there I was peacefully sitting in my cubicle (feverishly working, of course), when I went to take a drink of some hot water.  I know, I know, lame.  Hot water?  Why not drink pure boredom?  Well, I was trying to be good.  Remember?  Any who, there I was drinking my hot water, not chugging, but calmly drinking (while I feverishly worked, of course), when all of a sudden the water “went down the wrong pipe.”  Considering that I was in my cubicle, I tried to keep from choking, while simultaneously keep from coughing, sounding like a fool, and causing an office wide commotion.

Gasping for air (slight exaggeration), I held back fiercely from coughing.  What happened next was what I can only imagine was cosmic payback for my attempt at healthy living.  What happened next was that a sound came from deep inside me.  Much like a geyser finally yielding to unspeakable pressure, my mouth let forth a noise, which can best be compared with that of a wounded seal.

The Moral(s) of the Story?

1) The longer you wait to eat the King Cake, the better odds you’ll have of finding Baby Jesus (or in this case, a Minecraft Pig).

2) Don’t try and live too healthy.  The world will eventually “send something down the wrong pipe” as payback.

3) Never hop on board a “Train (wreck) of Thought.”

4) Turns out, I should have just coughed.

By the way, I suppose our beagle Kirby finds the winner of the Westminster Dog Show “Miss P” very attractive…

A glimpse into Kirby the Beagle’s mind, as he channels Han Solo in Star Wars Episode IV, “Whaddya think?  You think a pure bread princess like Miss P and a pound puppy guy like me…”

Yep folks and with that, it’s clearly time for the “Train (wreck) of Thought” to pull into the station and call it a night.

 

I am finally fully rested and back up to speed, after my search for Baby Jesus (http://cookiesbydave.com/baby-jesus-on-the-loose/) and the baking of my annual King Cake.  Rested enough that I have provided the full King Cake recipe at the end of this post.  Warning:  the making of the King Cake is a marathon, so you might want to get started now on next year’s cake.

I was going to just provide the King Cake recipe for today’s post, but I got to thinking, it’s Mardi Gras and the Internet deserves something special.  As a result, I would like to provide you with a spin off post from my “Where in the World are Jacob’s Socks?” series.  So for one night and one night only, appearing exclusively at www.CookiesbyDave.com, “Old Socks, a New Start.”

Today, during lunch, Charlene walked through the living room and said, “It looks like someone jumped out of these socks.”  Seeing a photo opportunity, I hustled into the living room to see two green and white socks sitting in the middle of the floor.  That’s when I remembered the morning’s conversation.

8-year-old Sam:  “I’m glad I only need to wear these socks to school one more day.  They both have holes in them.”

42-year-old Me:  Unsure if Sam was on some farewell tour with his socks, I responded, “I could run upstairs and get you a new pair to wear to school.”  Let me clarify that there is not a sock shortage in our house.

8-year-old-who-has-a-strange-attachment-to-his-socks Sam:  “That would be great, plus I could give these socks to Kirby.”  Ah yes, the perfect gift for our beagle that likes to chew.  Not only would they smell like one of his people, the pup would not be self-conscious making the first holes in this pair of foot apparel.

Getting on his new socks, Sam happily gave Kirby his old pair and since it was rather chilly out this morning, I drove the boys to school.  I had completely forgotten about Kirby’s new sock toys and Kirby wanting to play had apparently set them in the middle of the living room floor.

Heading to take a photo of Sam’s old socks / Kirby’s new socks, Kirby ran to grab one.  Was he fearful that I needed a small pair of socks?  Was he worried that my large man feet would stretch them out?  Did he want to play Tug of War with the small sock?  Regardless of his intent, Kirby gleefully ran a few feet away with the sock in his mouth.  Old socks, a new start.

Blurred image of Kirby approaching the socks.

Kirby playing with one of his new sock toys.  His dog toy basket only three feet away.  Is it too much to ask for him to clean up his sock toys?  Gosh Kirby, get it together dog.

KING CAKE

“The perfect dessert to make for Fat Tuesday, just make sure to set aside plenty of time.  From start to finish, this baby takes about 5 hours from start to finish, but given that it’s once-a-year, it’s well worth the effort.  Plus, any leftovers make for a great snack on Ash Wednesday morning.  ‘From dust you came and to dust you shall return (hopefully, after first enjoying a delicious piece of King Cake).’”

King Cake remains waiting to become breakfast yumminess.

Cake

4 Tablespoons Butter

½ cup Milk

1½ teaspoons Vanilla Extract

1 package Active Dry Yeast

½ cup Warm Water

5¼ cups Flour

½ cup and 2 Tablespoons Sugar

3 Eggs

Tiny Baby Jesus doll

Filling

6 Tablespoons Butter

¾ cup Brown Sugar

1 Tablespoon Cinnamon

Topping

1 cup Powdered Sugar

2 Tablespoons Milk

Green Colored Sugar

Purple Colored Sugar

 

Microwave butter and milk together in a bowl.  Stirring every 30 seconds until the butter has melted.

Stir in the vanilla extract.  Let sit until the milk mixture is lukewarm temperature.

In a small bowl, pour the yeast into the warm water.  Stir once and let sit for 5 minutes.

In a third bowl (this one is large), stir together the flour and sugar.

Make a well in the center of the flour mixture.

Pour the yeast water into the well and combine.

Pour the lukewarm milk mixture into the large bowl and combine.

Lightly beat the eggs, add to the large bowl, and combine.

Take the newly formed dough out of the large bowl and place on a lightly floured surface.

Take a deep breath and begin kneading the dough.  Continue kneading the dough for 8 minutes, until the dough is smooth.

Coat a large bowl in cooking spray.  Place the dough into the newly coated large bowl.  Cover the bowl in plastic wrap.

Place the dough in a warm location and let it rise for 2 hours.  I recommend watching a movie, while the dough rises.  It will double in size, so make sure your bowl is big enough.

Combine the 6 Tablespoons of softened butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon.  Set aside.

Place parchment paper on a 13”x16” baking sheet.  Set aside.

Put the newly doubled dough on a lightly floured surface.  Use a rolling pin to form the dough into a 10”x16” shape.

Coat the dough with the filling.  Use an icing spatula to spread the filling out over the dough.  Leave a 1” strip along one 16” long side of the dough without any filling.

Starting on the side opposite from the filling-less side, roll the dough up “jelly roll-style.”  Use some water to help seal the dough, after it has been rolled.

Place a 2” tall and 3” diameter ramekin (cool word, eh?) onto the center of the parchment paper lined baking sheet.

Shape the roll into a circle around the ramekin.  Use water to seal together the ends of the roll of dough.

Using a knife, cut several (about 10) ½ inch deep slashes into the top of the dough around the entire ring.

Cover the dough in plastic wrap and place in a warm location.  Let the dough rise for another 45 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Remove the plastic wrap and bake the cake for about 30 minutes, until it is light brown.  Check the cake after about 25 minutes of baking.

Let cool on a wire rake with the cake still on the baking sheet for 5 minutes.

Insert the Baby Jesus into the top of the cake.

Let the cake cool for at least another 30 minutes.

Whisk together the powdered sugar and milk until it is drizzling consistency.

Top the cake with the colored sugar alternating between green and purple sugar.

Make sure to well conceal the location of Baby Jesus.

Decorate with some Mardi Gras beads and you’ll be the King (Cake) of the party.

 

Makes about 18 slices of cake.

Revised Source:  “King Cake” as found in the February 2012 edition of “Family Fun” magazine, because the family the celebrates Mardi Gras debauchery together, stays together (Huh?  Yuck.  Sure, perhaps a poor choice of words there, but still a decent comedic play on words.  Perhaps.).

 

Every year, I make a King Cake for Fat Tuesday.  I gather up all of the supplies.  I take a deep breath and get ready for a King Cake baking marathon.

Unfortunately, this year something tragic happened.  I lost Baby Jesus.  A whole bag full of Baby Jesuses.  You see, you are supposed to hide a tiny Baby Jesus doll in the cake and the person who gets the piece with the doll has to bake the cake for next year.  Why?  Well, I’m sure I read it once on Wikipedia, but I don’t recall it in detail.  Let’s just say that it has something to do with Christmas, Lent, Jesus the King, New Orleans, and cake.  ‘Nuff said.

Sadly, this has happened before.  One year, I went searching from store to store for a Baby Jesus to bury in the cake and no luck.  I had to resort to an astronaut figure that I once got our 4-year-old Jacob at the Kansas Cosmosphere and Space Center in Hutchinson, Kansas.  Needless to say, we also bought some space ice cream on that trip.  On such a trip, you have to purchase space ice cream.  Since that time, I have given the astronaut figure a place of honor on top of the coffee pot.

The astronaut suit, just a safety precaution, in case there’s a slip and (shock!) a dive into the piping hot pot of coffee.

After that mishap, I went on Amazon.com and purchased a whole package full of Baby Jesus dolls for like $1.29, plus about $5 in shipping and handling fees.  I used the Baby Jesus dolls for a year or two and had them stored in my baking supplies cupboard.  I can visualize them there.  Sitting so happily behind the bottles of vanilla extract, I knew I would never again need to frantically search for Baby Jesus dolls.

Then came last night, I looked behind the vanilla extract and nothing.  Vanished.  I then searched high and low.  Everywhere I could imagine.  Nothing.  Vanished.  A whole bag full of Baby Jesuses gone.

The bag full of Baby Jesuses, now just a memory.

Frantic!  I needed to do something fast.  That’s when I resulted to pop culture and Minecraft.  I have never actually played Minecraft, but I have many a time seen my boys playing Minecraft and talking about Minecraft, but after a few seconds watching them play Minecraft motion sickness strikes.  I have however gathered that they make tiny Minecraft figures that could pinch hit for Baby Jesus.  Bingo.  That’s how a Minecraft Pig saved the day.  Oh and if you see a bag of Baby Jesus dolls, please let me know.  In a year, I’ll be needing another one.

The astronaut/Minecraft team preparing for “The Cake.”  Okay, I must admit that I suspect the astronaut may be responsible for the disappearing Baby Jesuses.  Once you’ve had a turn in the cake, you’ll always crave another.

It was determined that the pig had “The Right Stuff.”

It was a long and winding road, but it was worth it.  Hey, spoiler alert…  the pig is hidden in the green sugar to the left of the crown (i.e. 9 o’clock on the cake).

 

Chocolate, flowers, and wine, all things we associate with Valentine’s Day.  Naturally, we also think of aphrodisiacs, such as the well-publicized oysters that supposedly get motors running.  Well folks, here’s a lesser publicized member of the aphrodisiac clan, nutmeg.  Yep it’s true; cinnamon’s good friend nutmeg is a spice for lovers.  So in honor of Valentine’s Day, here are some nutmeg (code word for aphrodisiac) cookies.  Enjoy responsibly.

What’s that?  You’re disappointed that I did not share this recipe with you before Valentine’s Day?  Well, buck up camper, just change out the cookie cutter and the colored sugar hue and bam(!), you’ve got yourself the perfect little snack for any date night.  For example, St. Patrick’s Day… shamrock cookie cutter, plus green sugar sprinkles, bam!  Halloween… pumpkin shaped cookie cutter, plus orange sprinkles, bam!  The possibilities are endless.  Just think, a “T” shaped cookie cutter, plus regular sugar on top, bam!  Suddenly, Tuesday night equals romance night.

Bake up some love.  Bake up some nutmeg cut-out cookies.

 Nutmeg Cut-Out Cookies, innocent looking, but oh-so-playful

NUTMEG CUT-OUT COOKIES

“Bite into one of these deliciously crisp cookies and you will get an immediate pop of nutmeg flavor.  Tasty, simple, and fun, these cookies are the perfect accompaniment to the phrase, ‘Be Mine.’”

1/2 cup Butter

1/2 cup Sugar

1/4 cup Maple Syrup

1 Egg

1 1/2 cups Flour

1/4 teaspoon Nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon Salt

Red Sugar Sprinkles

 

Cream butter and sugar.

Mix in maple syrup and egg.

Mix in flour, nutmeg, and salt.

Form dough into a disk and cover in plastic wrap.

Chill dough for 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Roll dough out to 1/8th inch thickness.

Cut into heart shapes (I used a heart shaped cookie cutter that is 2 1/2 inches across at the top and got good results).

Place on parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Sprinkle tops of cookies with red sugar sprinkles.

Bake 10 minutes or until lightly browned around the edges.

 

Makes about 40 cookies.

Revised Source:  “Nutmeg Maple Butter Cookies” from Gourmet Magazine as found on http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2011/12/nutmeg-maple-butter-cookies/

 

This Valentine’s Day morning, I would like to give you a sneak peek into the romantic life of 11-year-old Jacob’s socks.  Here we see Jacob’s socks on a rare double date on top of the dining room hutch.  No word on where the couples are going for dinner, although I suspect they are staying in, since they are already in the dining room, and as far their selection of a movie, well one of the pairs is a pretty standard shade of gray.

They are sitting in front of the “Jesus – Others – You” triple option bank.  Maybe his socks are just Jacob’s way of being a “Cheerful Giver.”  Foot apparel tithing, the choice of a new generation.