All posts by Dave Paulsen

Life is simple. Love God, neighbor, baseball, and cookies.

Watch Out for My Boy

At this afternoon’s cross country meet, I saw my boy coming around the last turn and sprinting toward the finish line. He was going all out. 100% all the way to the end. Leaving it all on the track. Balls to the wall.

Actually, he looked a bit like me in spin class. Same face, same determination. No DNA test required, that boy was certainly mine.

Also, the boy in front had better watch out, because my boy is right behind…

…and he looks hungry…

No doubt, that’s my boy!

Don’t Forget to Smile

Two days ago, I wrote about forgetting my umbrella. I was wet, but it was fine writing material, so I smiled.

Yesterday, I forgot to bring my laptop home from work. I figured it would make for great writing material. Fine idea, I smiled.

As I went to bed, I realized that I forgot to write my daily blog post. I slapped together some literary drivel and went to bed with a smile.

Today, I realized that I had forgotten to write about my forgotten laptop. Alas, I had a leftover story for this evening’s post, which brought a smile to my face.

Folks, I may not remember why, but odds are, I’ll be smiling.

All Wet Parenting

Child One – I observe that it’s raining pretty hard, so I insist that I drop him off at school, rather than having him get soaked at the bus stop. Caring.

Child Two – I efficiently deliver him to school on-time (we live just beyond the two mile bus boundary… hear my soul weep). Effective.

Child Three – The rain had died down, so we stand in the driveway and determine that it would make sense for him to wait at the bus stop. Smart.

Me – Feeling so good about my morning (caring, efficient, and smart), I drove to work, as the rain began again. I had forgotten my umbrella. Somehow “clueless,” as well.

Hunger for Parenting

First Child – “May I read ‘The Hunger Games?'”

Our Response – “Well, first we need to learn more about it. Perhaps we will read the entire series and consider select scholarly articles about their impact on impressionable young minds.”

Child loses interest and moves on.


Third Child – “I would like to read ‘The Hunger Games.'”

Our Response – “Sure, whatever.”

Beer Stein Respect

Last year, I ran in my first mud run. Think 5k with inflatables and mud. Lots of mud. Well, they also had beer, which was a nice touch.

Any who, post-run they had a beer stein holding competition. You needed to hold a beer Stein directly out for as long as possible without spilling a drop. The prize? A ticket for another beer.

Watching, I soon realized the prize was not really another beer, but rather pride. Sort of a “I’m Stronger Than These Other Dudes” pride. I also observed that almost all of the participants appeared to be ripped college students. Get this, their time to beat… 2 minutes and 30 seconds.

So I got to thinking, I could do that. A year of practice and I could be a beer stein holding champion. I could represent every guy out there with a Dad Bod, every guy with love handles, every guy with abs that are there, just hidden. Plus, I could beat guys half my age. A hero of sorts for the every man. I could do it. I knew that I could.

So I registered for the next year’s mud run and I practiced. Not as much as I should have, but I did practice. Turns out that a topped off beer stein weighs about 5 pounds. So I would practice always with the 2:30 time in mind. I don’t mind saying that I got pretty good. Top time of 4 minutes. I was ready. As ready as a middle aged slightly round in the tummy guy could be. I was gonna make normal dudes everywhere proud. I was going to represent. I was certain that I could win.

Well, yesterday was mud run day. I got muddy. Something else happened too. It rained and as we entered the final stage, it began to lightening, as well. Know what that means? Course closed. Race over. No more mud and… no beer stein holding contest. No chance to represent. No chance for glory.

My friends, championships are nice. They really are, but as for me, I’m at peace. At peace, because I know what I can do. I can do great things. I know what I would have accomplished. I know that I can hold a beer stein out for a really long time.