Leafing through a “Woman’s Day” magazine from 1964 (don’t ask, just roll with this), I ran across the following ad.

What? “Eat lots of meat and you can lick any dog on our street!” Again, I say, “What?”

Is the kid giving the dog an okay to lick away?

Why does meat enable such behavior?

Is the kid being allowed to lick lots of neighborhood dogs? Ew.

Doesn’t this promote dog to human disease transmission? Dog Flu?

And perhaps the most puzzling question of all… (again) Why was I reading old “Women’s Day” magazines?

There are just some things that bring joy to your eyes. This is one of them.

Thank you, Nestle!

When you are reading a children’s book and you run across a description of hamsters…

…which makes you consider “Which is Worse,” a hamster that talks…

…or that you only want to read his quote in a sexy voice.

Heading to a baseball game, my son took a good look at me. “Dad, you look good in a hat,” he said.

Now, this would be a lovely compliment, if previous conversations had not noted my child’s worry about my receding hairline.

Yep, the hat sure does cover up that lack of hair. Plus, I bet you’ll look great in a hat someday. Genetics, you know.

Feeling my calf muscle “pop,” followed by plenty of pain, I knew one thing for certain: after I finished my run, I would need to see a doctor.

The diagnosis was promising. A mild muscle tear that would need several days of rest for recovery. No worries, I could handle that.

Plus, the doctor reassured me. “You are in great physical shape…” (Gosh Doc, thanks) “…and you will be fine…” (Nice, thanks again) “if you recover like a normal middle aged man.”

Just some patient advice, next time, stop at “you will be fine.”

My son Jacob with both a large turkey and his father, although it is often hard to tell which is which.

and it’s a dinosaur, ride it!

You dare not delay, when your Fifth Grader returns home with the following request and call to action.

“Dad, could you please buy me some deodorant? Today in class, the teacher said that we stink and need to start using deodorant.”

Here son, use mine. It sounds like there is a need for immediate action. We should move to address the situation at the Speed (of a) Stick.

When you see…

A smashed Boba Fett helmet…

An empty carton of chocolate milk…

And an abandoned scooter…

All within feet of each other in a high school parking lot, you know that there is an untold tale to be told.

Driving home, “November Rain” came on the radio. From the start, I began singing along. With each line, I turned it up a little.

It was a beautiful thing, as I sang along with Axl. Hard to say, but I’m pretty sure they would have asked me to join Guns N’ Roses right then and there. I continued to gradually turn up the radio.

Thing is, “November Rain” is a long song, a very long song, in two parts. Plenty song for most of the drive home and certainly enough to get me to the High School, where I needed to pickup my son.

As my boy hopped into the car, the song was nearing the end of its first half, “I know that you can love me, when there’s no one left to blame.” I paid little attention to my son, as Slash played the guitar and my mind’s eye replayed the music video with Stephanie Seymour in a sexy wedding dress. Then the unthinkable happened, my boy turned down the radio.

Feeling betrayed, I looked at my boy with sadness. Then my teen explained, “If you don’t turn that down, you won’t be able to hear us anymore.” Well, my boy, if I am gonna lose my hearing, it should be to a great song. So, turn it up! You see, nothing lasts lasts forever, even cold November rain.