Here on www.CookiesbyDave.com we previous discussed my body’s efforts to resist doughnut related temptations.  Well sure enough, it happened again.  Yesterday’s victim, beer.

Giddy to try some tasty new local brew.  I grabbed the growler and anticipated beer goodness that would soon quench my pallet.  I cupped my fingers around the lid and turned.  I should clarify, my fingers turned, but the lid did not.  No give.

I bucked up, grabbed again, attempted the turn, and nothing.  Again.

Feeling a tad emasculated, I tried one final time.  I grunted, I groaned, and yes, I even growled.  Nothing.  My body had determined a new way to resist vices.  Not showing up.  Dietary passive resistance.  No strength, no treats.  Bam!  Problem solved.  Put one in the win column for “Wimpy Defense.”

Returning from our 13-year-old’s room, my wife reported on the items currently on his bed.

1) Notepad and Pencil – I guess they are useful for jotting down thoughts or creating a dream log.

2) Cereal Bowl – Midnight snack?

3) Frisbee – Perhaps he was planning on having some friends over or a plate substitute, just in case he plans on eating toast with his cereal.

The announcement was broadcast like wildfire, “Doughnuts in the breakroom!”

I ran to investigate and there waiting for my arrival was the most beautiful of sprinkled doughnuts.  Beckoning me.  There, just for me.

Primal Dave sitting on a shoulder provided guidance, “Eat!”

Gym Dave sitting on my other shoulder suggested a compromise, “Use the plastic knife and cut the doughnut into quarters.  Bro, a quarter doughnut will taste the same.”

Primal Dave returned, “Eat!”

Wasting no time and seeing a solution ahead, I began slicing the breakfast temptation.

Snap!  Gym Dave overpowered the knife and snapped it in two.  Good intentions defeated by the resulting torque from too many workouts.

Gym Dave let out a sad, “Bro!”

The troubles of a well intended doughnut compromise.  At least, I tried and an honest attempt certainly deserves a doughnut reward.  Primal Dave and Gym Dave agree.

12:35 AM

and the dog starts licking

You hear the dog being gross, but you are too tired to act

and the dog keeps licking

The dog appears to have the need to lick every inch of his body from nose to toes

and the dog keeps licking

Your spouse wakes up and tries to stop the dog

and the dog keeps licking

You nickname them “Licker” and “Yeller,” but you accidentally say it out loud, because you are stupid

and the dog keeps licking

A pond of drool forms in your bed

and the dog keeps licking

Your spouse wisely relocates to the Guest Bedroom

and the dog keeps licking

You try to fall asleep, but cannot, because of the noise and growing sense of wetness surrounding you

and the dog keeps licking

You cannot think of any solutions, because you are too tired to think straight

and the dog keeps licking

Now you are loudly telling the dog to stop and the man who moments ago mocked his spouse as “Yeller” has become the “Yeller” himself

and the dog keeps licking

Resigned to your fate, you will yourself to a restless sleep in a pool of dog saliva and regret

and the dog keeps licking

CHIPOLTE CHOCOLATE SPANISH COOKIES

“Who can resist a little kiss of heat?  Trust me, this wisp of chipotle helps kick the chocolate into gear.  It works and all is good.  Enjoy!”

COOKIE INGREDIENTS

1 cup, plus 1 Tablespoon Butter

1 cup, plus 1 Tablespoon Brown Sugar

7/8 cup Sugar

2 Eggs

2 1/2 cups Flour

3/4 cup Cocoa Powder

1 1/4 Tablespoons Cinnamon

1/4 Tablespoon Baking Soda

1/4 Tablespoon Salt

1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

COATING INGREDIENTS

1/2 cup Sugar

Generous Pinch Chipotle Powder

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Cream the butter, brown sugar, and sugar.

Mix in the eggs.

Mix in the flour, cinnamon, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.

Mix in the chocolate chips.  Set aside.

Mix together the sugar and chipotle for the coating.

Roll Tablespoon size balls of dough in the coating.

Place on parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 10 minutes or until the cookie bottoms are beginning to brown.  Be careful not to overbake the cookies.

Place baking sheets onto wire cooling racks.

Let cookies sit on the baking sheets for 5 minutes and then place cookies directly onto wire racks to complete cooling.

Makes about 48 cookies.

Revised Source:  “Mexican Hot Chocolate Cookies” by Jonathan Bender in “Cookies & Beer.”

Different, but yet the same

(or at least strangely familiar).

As we bid adieu to Summer, I’d like to reflect on how much confidence I’ve gained.  Months ago, I would have never dared venture out with mismatched socks.  Now, I say, “Oh, well.”

Wait!  Horror of horrors, my feet appear to be attached to cankles!  Confidence shattered, I count the days until Summer 2018. #CannotArriveTooSoon

On a trip to Target, I needed to pick up a prescription, so I sent my three boys off to look at the new Star Wars merchandise.  A few minutes later, with Rx in hand, I started strolling toward the StarWarsapalooza aisle.

Half the store away, I could hear their banter.  Not entirely disruptive.  Not being bad.  Just happy.  Happy and loud.  Teasing each other.  Being playful.  Interacting supremely silly.  Being kids.

Sure, they were a little beyond the norms.  Sure, they were a bit energized.  A tad wild?  Just a small tad and maybe just an indication that I need to work on further control, but they were happy.  Genuinely happy and that’s something really good, no matter the volume.

CARAMEL CHIP COOKIES

“Yummy new flavor of Hershey’s baking chips, but out of butter?  Oh, no!  Oh, yes!  This recipes uses Crisco and your taste buds will not be disappointed.  The rich caramel flavor in these baking chips are highlighted in every bite.  Thank you, Hershey!  Thank you, Sea Salt Caramel!  Thank you, backup plan!  Enjoy!”

1 cup Crisco

1/2 cup Sugar

1 cup Brown Sugar

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2 Eggs

1 1/2 cups Flour

1 teaspoon Baking Soda

1 teaspoon Salt

2 cups Quick Cooking Oats

1 package Hershey’s Sea Salt Caramel Baking Chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream Crisco, sugar, and brown sugar.

Mix in the vanilla extract and eggs.

Mix in the flour, baking soda, and salt.

Mix in the oats.

Mix in the caramel baking chips.

Drop by rounded Tablespoons onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 8 minutes or until the bottoms have browned.

Place baking sheets onto wire cooling racks.

Let rest on baking sheets for 5 minutes.

Remove cookies and place on cooling racks until ready to eat.

Makes about 60 cookies.

Revised Source:  “Hillary Clinton’s Chocolate Chip Cookies” recipe found on page 4 of my cookie cookbook, “Today is a Great Day for a Cookie,” which as always is available for free download at www.CookiesbyDave.com.

That moment of dread, dread when you step on the scale following vacation.

Watching the numbers spin and finally settle, I grinned.  Unexpected delight filled me.  Down two and a half pounds.

I guess getting lost while hiking has at least one benefit or in this case two and a half.

Oh where, oh where did my little trail go?