My 8-year-old son Ben looked in the mirror, looked back at me, and looked into the mirror again.
As I measured the appropriate dose of Children’s Tylenol, young Ben asked me, “What will I tell my friends at school?”
I answered with the thoughtful advice of a caring father, “Tell them the truth. You busted your upper lip, while climbing the wall.”
There, that’s not so hard is it? Certainly not believable, but honestly the truth. Plus, now you know how Spider-Man feels. Just ask Peter Parker.
Shoot, I had a post topic for this evening and now it’s gone. Lost forever in some dark corner of my middle aged mind. I think it was good. At least mediocre.
Oh well, I shall fill the void with a humorous sight from outside the coffee shop.
There you have it, a photo that’s nearly post-worthy. Okay, mediocre at best.
Wait! I remember the original topic. At elementary school, the kids were supposed to wear green to celebrate “Green Day” (a day at school featuring the color green). Well, I thought I would be clever and play a song by the band Green Day at the breakfast table. Don’t worry, my kids didn’t find it funny, either. Yep, mediocre story at best.
Don’t worry, Middle Age Memory. Take the rest of the night off. I’ll live with the mediocre socks-on-a-sign material.
Happy Green Day to all and to all a goodnight.
I would like to extend a special thanks to everyone who participated in “National Drive 10 MPH Under the Speed Limit Day.” Even though I was previously unaware of this holiday, I sure did enjoy arriving late to everything. What a special treat to be forced to take life slow and enjoy the boiling feel of my blood pressure rising.
Cannot wait until I see you again on “National Ride Your Bumper Until You Move Over Day.”
3/4 cup Butter
1/2 cup Pumpkin
PUMPKIN NO BAKE COOKIES
Pumpkin No Bake Cookies a chillin’.
“Welcome to Fall. Welcome back to the taste of pumpkin. Today, their influence is found in the no bake world. No muss, no fuss, just pumpkin wonder and delight. Enjoy!”
1/4 cup Butter
1/4 cup Milk
1/4 cup Pumpkin
1 cup Brown Sugar
1/4 teaspoon Pumpkin Pie Spice
2 cups Quick Cooking Oats
1/4 cup Caramel Flavored Baking Chips
In a sauce pan over medium-high heat, combine the butter, milk, pumpkin, brown sugar, and pumpkin pie spice.
Bring to a boil.
Remove from heat and stir in the quick cooking oats.
Stir in the caramel baking chips (don’t worry, they will melt, but will add a wonderful touch of flavor).
Drop by rounded Tablespoons onto parchment paper lined baking sheets.
Chill the cookies on the baking sheets in the refridgerator for 45 minutes.
Enjoy and place any uneaten cookies back into the fridge.
Makes about 28 cookies.
Revised Source: “Pumpkin No Bake Cookies” recipe on www.jensfavoritecookies.com.
Good Choice – Opting for the veggie tray at the afternoon work meeting.
Bad Choice – Opting to snack on celery during the afternoon meeting. Celery, the “Crunch, Crunch” member of the veggie tray family. The veggie that screams, “Hey, I’m here at the meeting and oh by the way, I’m snacking rather than providing semi-genius insights. Perhaps they will at least make me smarter. One can hope. Hope, while crunching.
Nothing urges you to express your machismo like the opportunity to move a couch.
Nothing makes you regret expressing your machismo like your back after moving a couch.
MOONCAKE MADELINES
“Need a little break? Need a good party? How about the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival? Now, how about adding a little French vibe? Well, this recipe takes the best from around the world and bakes it into something fun. Inspired by the mooncake dessert of the Mid-Autumn Festival, this cookie uses a French Madeline pan and dusts on some powdered sugar to give the appearance of our celestial neighbor. Celebrate this melting pot cookie and let the world’s inspiration melt in your mouth. Enjoy!”
¾ cup Sugar
½ cup Canola Oil
½ Tablespoon Water
¼ teaspoon Lemon Juice
Pinch Salt
1 Egg
3 Tablespoons Heavy Cream
3 cups Flour
1 teaspoon Cinnamon
½ teaspoon Nutmeg
Powdered Sugar for dusting
Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
Prepare madeline pans by lightly coating with cooking spray and dusting with flour.
Mix together the sugar and canola oil. Set aside.
Mix together the water, lemon juice, and salt. Mix the water mixture into the sugar mixture.
Mix in the egg and heavy cream.
Mix in the flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
Knead dough until it is workable.
Press dough into prepared madeline molds.
Bake for 10 minutes or until the cookies have lightly browned.
Cool madeline pans for 5 minutes on wire cooling racks.
With the tip of a knife, remove the madelines from their molds and complete cooling on wire racks.
Dust “shell” side with powdered sugar.
Makes about 36 madelines.
Revised Source: “Chinese Mooncake Biscuit Cookies” recipe on www.sweetsibon.com.
Cookie Inspiration: My friend, Hoang Ton, who introduced me to mooncake and created a spark of cookie innovation.
Let’s see… the odds of a Homer Hanky Giveaway resulting in a Sibling-Towel-to-the-Eye Injury? Vegas says 3-1 (three boys to one injury prior to a dad intervention).
It would however make a fine napkin. Just guessing.
It was 10PM and it was time to call in Kirby the Beagle for the night. Only one problem, Kirby was at the corner of our backyard fence barking. Barking aggressively. Barking at something in the woods. Something that appeared to be moving and maybe even snarling in the woods.
Proud of Kirby’s desire to protect our homestead, but worried about what was lurching in the forest, I began to usher him toward the backdoor.
Glancing over my shoulder, I expected to see the worst.
Prankster Teens… no wait, worse…
Great Horned Owl… no wait, worse…
Jackalope… no wait, worse….
Coyote… no wait, worse….
Mountain Lion… no wait, worse…
Bear… no wait, worse…
Sasquatch… no wait, worse…
Jabberwocky… no wait, worse…
Chupacabra… no wait, worse…
The Blair Witch!
Good Lord! Run!
Ah, we may not know what was rustling in the woods, but we do know what evil dwells in one man’s troubled imagination.