One of 8-year-old Sam’s football socks was spotted on the kitchen table…

Soon moved to relax on a chair in the living room…

Then apparently wanted to catch up on world events, by reading the Sunday paper… (By the way, why doesn’t any member of my family ever pick up these socks?  By the way, why don’t I?  Why do I take a picture of them, instead?  Why doesn’t the sock get the digital edition of the newspaper?  Why, indeed.)

The next day, it was spotted on the kitchen counter…

Then not seeing the sock for a few hours, I had a flicker of hope that the sock was actually placed in the hamper.  I was wrong.  Later, it was spotted under Sam’s bed and was dangerously close to a lightsaber.  Don’t do anything foolish, football sock.  (Oh by the way, I spotted it, when I changed the sheets on Sam’s bed for the second time in two days.  The second time, because the first time, I accidently placed a fresh fitted sheet directly over the old dirty fitted sheet already on the bed and did not realize it until doing the laundry, which by the way still did not include the football sock.  Troublesome times in the Paulsen house.)

What in the world was going through this sock’s head (even though socks of course just have heels and not heads)?

Then I walked onto the sun porch to put away a toy into a toy box that also doubles as a coffee table (the dogs does not seem bothered by any of this).

Opening the box, I saw there under Captain America’s shield, next to some Legos, and on top of a crown was the sock’s mate.

That poor wandering sock had been in anguish, as it searched the house for its mate.  Yes, I have a heart and yes, I knew what to do next.

The socks were soon reunited on the hamper and later sent to the wash.

Smiles and hugs all around.  The world is right again.

The End.

The conference call had gone well. A few action items had been developed.  The group had made forward progress and I was able to hear most of the meeting.

As the call wrapped up, however, I was unaware of a once loyal body part that had suddenly turned against me. Apparently, I had not provided my left earlobe with the care and attention that it felt it deserved, because it was struck with an urge for rebellion.  The need to thwart my attempts at professionalism.  For as my name was called on the other end of the phone, “Dave?”  I glanced at my phone to turn off the mute function and discovered that my mischievous earlobe had placed me on some random status screen.  Far, far away from the mute button.

I was there, but I wasn’t. Present, but absent, in one soul.  I fumbled through menus and screens, as my co-workers around a distant conference table repeated their plea, “Dave?  Dave?”  Then, chuckles.  Had Dave fallen off the edge of the Earth?  No!  Damn it!  I’m here!  I live!  More thumbs desperately trying to return to the right screen.  More requests into the empty void, “Dave?  Dave?”

A strikingly unpleasant ten seconds must have passed (gasp!). Desperate, I located the phone screen.  My thumb stretched for the mute button.  Another “Dave?”  More chuckles.  Then pressing down, I pleaded for mercy with a humble, “I’m here.”  Meek and embarrassed, I picked up the pieces of my tattered dignity.  Damn you, wayward earlobe.  No soft pillow for you tonight.

COFFEE BROWNIES

“While pointing to this recipe, Charlene oh so subtly asked me, ‘When are you going to make these?’ The beauty (other than my wife) is all you need to do is ask.  Well, as far as cookies go.

Coffee, plus brownie, what’s not to like? It’s all good and it may be all you’ll ever need.

Just a few notes… the brownies do come out a little gooey for my taste, but they are yummy.  My batch came out overdone on the edges, but plenty of brownies were salvageable from the interior.  Overdone and gooey at the same time?  Things that make you go hmmm.  Some of life’s mysteries, you just need to accept and move on.  Enjoy!”

2 teaspoons Espresso Powder

1 Tablespoon Hot Water

1 cup Butter

1½ cups Brown Sugar

½ cup Sugar

2 Eggs

2 teaspoons Vanilla Extract

1 teaspoon Grated Orange Peel

1¾ cups Flour

1 teaspoon Baking Soda

1 teaspoon Salt

½ teaspoon Cinnamon

1 cup White Chocolate Chips

1 cup Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Stir the espresso powder into the hot water. Let cool.

Cream butter, brown sugar, and sugar.

Mix in the eggs, vanilla extract, and grated orange peel.

Mix in the flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon.

Stir in the white chocolate chips and semi-sweet chocolate chips.

Pour batter into a greased 9”x13” baking pan.

Bake for 25 minutes or until golden brown.

Let cool completely.

Makes about 30 brownies.

Revised Source: “Cappuccino Crunch Bars” recipe from “The Cookie Bible” from Publications International.

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Congrats! Although you didn’t win last night’s Powerball Lottery, you just won a bonus post from www.CookiesbyDave.com.  Enjoy!

So, I was putting away the Christmas stuff and as I packed up the Christmas CDs (yes, we still have some CDs, please don’t judge me), I noticed this “Lifetime Music Guarantee” from “The Wall” music store. Chuckling, it looks like the lifetime music guarantee turned out to be for the lifetime of “The Wall” music store empire.  Sayonara, lifetime music guarantee.

Thinking I was oh so clever to observe this, I did a quick search to confirm that “The Wall” was indeed out of business. Soon I found out that they were indeed absorbed in a merger and approximately 100,000 people also found the now defunct “Lifetime Music Guarantee” funny and had already posted about it on the Internet.

Oh well, here’s post number 100,001. Just another brick in “The Wall?”  100,001 seems about right and now I guess that we can all stop and let the “Lifetime Music Guarantee” rest in peace.  No more bricks in “The Wall.”

I really don’t care who you belong to, please just change the channel.

#WhyDoSocksNeverDoWhatYouAsk #EvenIfYouAskItNicely

“Where in the world are Dave’s socks?”  Good question.

Sock selfie.

Tonight, they are on my feet, but here’s the thing, they perfectly match my sweater. Not just a close match, but perfect. Same colors, patterns, and DNA match. Everything. Plus, get this, they were purchased separately. I know! Pow! Mind blown!  Good thing you have the weekend to recover.

Great news!  The cold storage moving van arrived and now our family has been reunited.  All of the frozen and warm blooded Paulsen family are once again at the same address.

Snow doppelgängers.  The best type of doppelgängers.

The last word on snow.  Packing snow is not to be wasted.

Words to live by.

Seeing one of my boys a little down in the dumps, I approached him calmly and proceeded to surprise tickle him. Thinking that this treatment would lift my child’s spirits, I was disappointed and somewhat embarrassed to see that it made him gently cry.  Hmmm.  Loser dad?  Not necessarily.

Later, my wife kindly spoke to me and asked me not to take it the wrong way, but sometimes I can be a “lamp without a shade.” No worries, I get it.  Sometimes my supernova attempts at happiness might not be the best tactic.  Hmmm.  Shall I hide it under a bushel?  Not all the time.

Different situations call for different solutions and sometimes even bright happy lights sometimes need a shade. Hmmm.  Get it, pops?  Yes, slowly getting it.

Pulling into a parking space at the coffee shop, I was seconds (and just a few feet) away from meeting my wife. That’s when my front pocket violently shook.  Yes, being a responsible driver, I stow my cell phone in my front pocket, while driving, in order to make it inaccessible.  Startled by the unsuspected motion, I pulled in a little too fast and bumped the curb a little too hard.  Putting the car in park, I checked my phone to see a message from my wife, “Where are you?”  MESSAGE OF THE NOT-SO-URGENT KIND

Casually strolling out of the bathroom, our 7-year-old son walked by me. Calmly looking over his shoulder, as he walked away, he informed me, “The toilet’s plugged.”  MESSAGE OF THE URGENT KIND

TWIX COOKIES

“One of life’s truths: there’s nothin’ two sticks of Twix can’t fix.  Indisputable.  Rock solid.  Bet on it.  As noted in “Seinfeld,” Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.  Yes, caramel, chocolate, and cookie all in a wondrous blend.  Vending machine, I’m coming your way.

This week’s ‘Cookie of the Week’ is a tribute to this classic candy treat. Think deconstructed Twix and you have it.  My boys even said that it came close to matching the candy bar, but with more cookie and less chocolate.  Hey, we can’t all be perfect, we’ll leave that to Twix.”

1 cup Butter

½ cup Powdered Sugar

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2 cups Flour

¼ teaspoon Salt

11 ounces Caramel chews or bits

1 Tablespoon Whipping Cream

2 cups Milk Chocolate

Cream butter and powdered sugar.

Mix in vanilla extract.

Mix in flour and salt.

Make a “log” of dough about 12 inches long and surround with plastic wrap.

Refrigerate the dough for 4 hours.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Slice cookies about ¼ inch thick.

Place on parchment paper lined baking sheets.

Bake for 11 minutes or until lightly browned on the bottom.

Once the cookies have cooled, mix together the caramel and whipping cream.

Microwave the caramel and whipping cream for 1 minute.

Keep microwaving for 15 seconds at a time, until smooth.

Drop Tablespoons of caramel onto the cookie and allow them to spread.

Microware the chocolate for 1 minute, plus additional 15 second increments, until smooth.

Spread some chocolate onto the top of each cookie and allow to completely set.

Makes about 47 cookies.

Revised Source: “Twix Cookies” recipe on www.shugarysweets.com.  Plus, thank you to my great friend Rachel Skretvedt for sharing this home run cookie recipe with me!

Yesterday, in case you missed it, the yearlong 2015 Paulsen family saga officially came to a close on www.CookiesbyDave.com.

With “Star Wars” type box office totals, yesterday’s post smashed all sorts of www.CookiesbyDave.com records. Since I like you and in a blatant attempt to be bought out by Disney Corp, here are the ten links to the entire saga, including a “bonus” prequel and special “Paulsen Family Exodus” cookie.  You could say that it is the complete box set.  Epic and all in one place.

My friends, thank you for everything. You helped us weather the storm and made all of our sunny days ahead possible.  Enjoy!

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3/16/15 – The 2015 Paulsen Family Saga Prequel – “Let the Happiness Through”

3/17/15 – Episode I – “Pride”

3/21/15 – Episode II – “Simple Things that Mean So Much”

3/31/15 – Episode III – “Scarfing the Chief”

4/15/15 – Episode IV – “Cheers”

9/26/15 – Episode V – “The Path Before Us”

11/4/15 – Episode VI – “Being Okay with Anger”

11/16/15 – Episode VII – “Cheers from Our Cozy Cottage”

11/30/15 – Episode VIII – “Goodbye to Our Sacred Place”

12/3/15 – Bonus Paulsen Family Exodus Cookie – “Exodus: A No Bake Cookie Tale”

12/6/15 – Episode IX – “Our Cottage in the Grove”

1/2/16 (yesterday) – Episode X – “Wherever you go, go with all your heart” – 2015 Yearend Guest Post

Happy New Year from the Paulsen clan!

Wishing you an eventful 2016, in only the happiest of ways.