My single worst habit, while driving?  Enjoying a bowl of oatmeal on the road.

There I am, barreling down the highway, enjoying a tasty and nutritious bowl of Quaker Oats.  Two minutes before I leave the house, I microwave my oats and then hop into the car.  Heart healthy, road questionable.

Well, this morning, I went for my oats and noticed something different.  I had run out of “quick cooking oats” and was left with the “old fashioned oats” variety.  A quick scan of the packaging and the only difference appeared to be that the “old fashioned oats” take a whole 45 seconds more to microwave.  Wow!  Saving 45 seconds, those quick cooking oats certainly deserve the right to brag. By the way, that was your daily allowance of “oat sarcasm.” You’re welcome.

So, I put my old fashioned oats in the microwave for 165 seconds and headed on my way.  Driving a little ways down the road, I took a big spoonful of oat goodness and stuck it in my mouth.  Then pain!  Pain, followed by shock.  Shock, followed by me desperately grabbing for the bowl.  Bowl retrieval, immediately followed by scalding hot oatmeal dribbling from my mouth into the bowl.  All while driving 65 miles per hour.  You’re welcome.

Apparently, that extra 45 seconds in the microwave turns warm oatmeal into oatmeal of the combustible variety.  Hotter than the sun.  Far too hot for human consumption and more suitable for interrogation.  “Listen Buster, fess up or a scalding hot Quaker will be all over you.”

Yep, I may be a danger to myself and others, but I’ve got one healthy heart, a burned tongue, and some steaming hot oats within arm’s reach.