“Who is that wannabe handsome dude mowing in the front yard without a shirt?”

“Wait, that’s Dave, and he’s only supposed to mow without a shirt in the backyard.”

“What is he doing running over every leaf in sight with the lawnmower?”

“Desperation.  Purely desperate attempt to get out of ever raking.  Sad, just like him prancing around without a shirt.”

“Huh?  Why is he now mowing in the street?”

“More leaf ‘Shock and Awe.’  He’s trying to mulch up even the leaves in the street without thinking through the fact that the newly mulched leaves will have no place to go.”

“Another pass with the mower in the street, are you kidding me?”

“You see, he’s trying to now blow the leaves onto the grass using the exhaust from the lawn mower, even though it’s into the wind and mostly the mulched organics just blow back onto his bare chest.”

“Does the man have no shame?”

“Nope, even when it appears to random passing motorists that he’s just a bare chested man covered in leaf dust mowing the middle of the road.”

“Can we deny any knowledge of this fellow?”

“I’ve already filed the paperwork.”