Topic of discussion at the office potluck:  “White Vegetables” (Don’t question it.  Trust me.  Roll with it.)

Me trying to describe Kohlrabi (by far my favorite vegetable):  “It’s a horny vegetable.”

Time it took me to realize the awkwardness of my statement and poor choice of words to substitute for “horned”:  Exactly one second.

Time it took me to try and recover from my verbal blunder:  the rest of the meal.

Time it will take me to fully extract my foot from my mouth:  the rest of my career.

Kohlrabi, horned.  I rest my case.