Over Thanksgiving weekend, we stayed on the fifth floor of a hotel and our room had a balcony.  There were two locks on the door leading to the balcony.  Let me repeat, the door leading to our fifth floor balcony had two locks.

This could mean any number of things.

A) They have a problem with Tom Cruise jumping from balcony to balcony and entering rooms.

B) Spider-Men infest the area.

C) Basketball team mascots dressed as gorillas frequently trampoline toward the side of the hotel and dunk on the balconies.

D)  Three terrifying words:  Clowns on Stilts.

No, what am I thinking?  The reason there are locks on the fifth floor balconies is because it is a small price to pay to ensure the safety of those dear to me, no matter how small the risk.

Okay, I will lock the balcony door, but you had me at “Clowns on Stilts.”