At work there is an exercise room with a treadmill. The problem is that there is very little to do to occupy your attention, while running on the treadmill. Reading while jogging is too much up and down. Watching one of the Jillian Michaels exercise DVDs while I run would be just plain creepy. As a result, I planned ahead.
Knowing that I would be using the exercise room after work on Friday, I took along a copy of the new James Bond movie, “Spectre.” Rated PG-13, it should have plenty of action to keep me entertained for 40 minutes. Victory.
Well, needless to say, the building was very quiet after work on Friday and I had the exercise room to myself. In fact, it appeared as if I had the whole building to myself.
Popping in the DVD, I began to run. Action sequence. Backstory. More action. More backstory. Then at about 38 minutes, one of the only true sexy moments of the film. Run some more. Then, slam! The door to the exercise room swings open and a buff man enters to lift some weights. Shocked that someone else was in the building, I almost flew off the back of the treadmill, but worse was the DVD. Having entered during the only sixty saucy seconds of the entire two hour movie, I looked like an exercise room creeper. Defeat.
Flash forward to this afternoon. I hustled to the gym over lunchtime and jumped onto a treadmill. As I ran, I looked at the treadmill’s video screen. Seeing that it offered a health blog for reading, I clicked on the screen. Hey, if I am not going to be completely healthy, I might as well read about a healthy lifestyle. It’s a start.
Seeing an article by Olympic skier and all around attractive human Lindsey Vonn, I thought about clicking on the screen. She wrote some article about staying active while traveling. Fine, I’ll click on it. Did I mention that she is an attractive human? Fine, well I scrolled down through the article and then there was an interactive video that I could click on. Fine, she is after all an attractive human, I should click on the video. Then as I ran, my screen was filled with Lindsey Vonn doing some weird push up slash lung type exercise on a playground swing set. Odd, but interesting. Interesting, but inappropriate for the gym. Inappropriate, but she is an attractive human. Still shocked that this was now being broadcast on my treadmill screen minus any context, I had once again become a gym creeper. Ugh, working out can be dangerous and put you at risk of being creepy.
Finishing my workout, I slinked all full of shame down to the Family Locker Room to change. Normally, this would be creepy. A man all alone going into the Family Locker Room to change, but the gym locker rooms are being remodeled and everyone is being funneled through the Family Locker Room. Fine, I would be okay on the creepy scale, at least for a moment. Finishing up, I began to leave my private shower area only to find that some people who far less attractive than Lindsey Vonn or James Bond were strutting around the Family Locker Room wrapped in just towels. Bellies and less than attractive skin all around. Boundaries people! We live in a society! Back to your individual Family Locker Room pods!
Ah, life had come full circle. The gym creeper had himself been creeped.