Normally, a trip out to lunch at work is a nice break.  A little something to break up the routine.  A chance to get away.  A near death experience.  Wait, what?  I shall tell…

It was a typical Friday lunch hour at work.  Plans were made to head out for pizza.  We wandered to a co-worker’s car.  A Prius.  A vehicle of environmental responsibility.  A vehicle of death.  Wait, what?  I shall tell…

Four co-workers headed to lunch.  The electrical vehicle of silence awaited.  Yes, silent, but deadly (too easy a reference to resist…  apologies from my 12-year-old self).  The perfect vehicle for an assassin.  Wait, what?  I shall tell…

Entering the rear door, behind the driver’s seat.  I saw a paper on the floor.  I reached down to move the document, as my co-workers sat in their places.  I lowered my right leg into the car.  Then suddenly and without warning, the car lurched forward.  Wait, what?  I shall tell…

The other two passengers yelled to the driver, “Stop!” and “He’s not in the car, yet.” As for me, I had no time to yell.  No words to break the silence.  Just thoughts of my own mortality, as the car lurched forward again.  I feared the worst, as I imagined my life being crushed beneath the rolling rear tire.  Wait, what?  I shall tell…

Then in an ungraceful act of desperate self preservation, I flung my frame into the moving car.  The would be apparent act of workplace assassination had failed.  I would work another day.  Another day that I would not take for granted.  You waited and I did tell, workplace exaggerations and all.