I take full responsibility. For over a week, I had known about Johnny Appleseed’s Birthday (today) and that my Kindergartener, Ben, would need to bring his favorite type of apple to school.  Our house usually contains lots and lots of apples, mainly for either baking or Honey Crisp apples, which are far too expensive, but the whole family enjoys eating.  Well, little Ben’s favorite apple is Yellow Delicious, which  we don’t have on stock here at the Paulsen Grocery Outlet.  As a result, I promised Ben that I would take care of it.  I even thought about it yesterday afternoon, but I failed to write myself a note.  Critical error.  The post-school whirlwind hit the house, followed by dinner preparation, furious food consumption, bedtime preparation, and actual kids sleeping.  What did I forget?  The Yellow Apple, of course.

This morning, in an attempt to make all things right, I gathered the kids in the car and drove to the grocery store. The apples are right inside.  They should have been easy to get and still have plenty of time to deliver children to school.  Ben gleefully selected just the right Yellow Apple ($0.86) and then I opened a horrible Pandora’s Box of grocery store inflation.  This was a fun outing, would the kids like a doughnut?  Perhaps an Apple Fritter (just now thought of that, it would have been a nice tie in).  Well, they jumped at the doughnut opportunity and rushed the display case.  10-year-old Jacob took charge (ignoring the “Please, use tissue paper” sign, as is the custom in our mass contagion family).  What doughnut would everyone like?  That one there?  Grab.  No?  Well, you told me that one.  Place back.  Hey, kids hold the phone.  Touch a doughnut, buy a doughnut.  That’s the rule.  I guess dad will eat the less desirable doughnut (4 doughnuts x $0.79 each = $3.16).

Eating their doughnuts, the kids were having a grand old time. Grabbing my free cup of coffee, I was also fully entering the moment.  Kids, we have a little more time, do they have any new Hot Wheels cars?  Heading over to the toy car display perched by the ketchup, Jacob found some cars that were not yet part of the massive Paulsen Boy Hot Wheels Garage.  I tell you, finding new cars for the collection is not an easy accomplishment, considering that our attic looks like a mini version of the Dearborn, Michigan, Ford Assembly Plant.  Dad, would you like one, too?  Sure, why not?  It has become a roving grocery store Johnny Appleseed birthday party (4 Hot Wheels x $1.29 each = $5.16).

Adding 35 cents in tax, our grand total for the apple was $9.53. My failure to purchase the apple in advance, in addition to my desire to make every moment into a grand life event had cost me $8.67.  I am truly a mess.  On the good side, I was helping the economy, my morning coffee had been free, and my boy would have his apple to bring to school.  As Johnny Appleseed would say, “Oh, the Lord is good to me and so I thank the Lord for giving me the things I need:  the sun, and the rain, and the apple seed.  Oh, the Lord is good to me.  Amen, amen.  Amen, amen, amen.  Aaaaamen.”