Prepare yourself for a horrifying tale. As tale so frightening, I would have trouble believing that it is true.  Yes, I would not believe it, but for the fact that it is happening to me.  Happening to me today, yesterday, and the day before.

First I credited this new phenomena to my purchase of new sweaters. Certainly that was the cause.  No cause for alarm.  No need to be concerned, but for the fact that today I wore an old t-shirt.  The sweaters were not the cause.

“The cause of what?,” you ask. Well, sit down.  Prepare yourself to hear of a tale of human metamorphosis.  Something unnatural and truly grotesque.  Yes, you guessed it.  My belly button has begun collecting lint.  Not once.  Not twice.  Three days is a row!  And not just a little lint, but a huge nugget.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Sort of like my belly crevice has become some hideous substitute for the less-than-glamourous dryer lint trap.  Nasty.

I dread looking down. What will I find?  Has my belly button developed some type of new curvature?  Is it now more spoon than flesh?  I live in fear.  What have I become?  What am I becoming?  What will my belly trap next?