Sometimes in life you are confronted with major dilemmas. This evening, that’s where I found myself.

Entering the dining room to clear the dinner table, I saw a most troubling sight. Our beagle Kirby with his neck strained over the table and tongue fully extended onto the inside edge of the spreadable butter container. Only minutes before that same spreadable butter graced our corn on the cob. That same spreadable butter container that was still half full had provided taste enhancement. Now, our butter was contaminated. Or was it?

I had only seen him licking the inner edge of the container, not the creamy layer below. Could I clean the edge and clear my mind? Could I purge the vision of him enjoying a buttery snack out of my head? I love my dog, but I’ve seen what he eats. I’ve seen where his tongue has been. I love my dog, but I don’t want him anywhere near my butter.

I am a civilized man. I have been born and raised to make hard decisions. Decisions to protect my family. Decisions promoting the betterment of man and the advancement of society as a whole. Only one thing to do, cast off the butter.

My dog had forced me to make the tough call, but(ter) I am a better man for it.