All my life, I have been haunted by an arbitrary standard of measurement.  6 feet.  Yep, 6 feet tall.  I fall just short.  5’11”.  Just short of that magical standard of male talliness.  In my defense, I once read that the average American man is 5’11” tall.  There you have it, I’m average.  Nothing wrong with that, except that it leaves me just short of “tall” and it causes problems for the bottoms of my pant legs.

5’11” turns out to be a bad thing for pant legs, because in my case it translates into 32” long pant legs being the closest size.  Unfortunately, 32” long pants is about 1/4” too long for me and as a result my pants continually brush along the floor.  So the pants quickly fray, in addition to another problem…

I was being responsible and placing my dirty jeans in the hamper, when I noticed something disturbing.  There, stuck to the bottom of a pant leg was a “fruit” sticker.  One of those stickers on a piece of fruit that contains the name of the fruit and its reference number.  This one was for a “Lemon.”

Ah, the Lemon sticker, the most resourceful of the produce labels. 

I did not recall the last time we used a lemon or its zest, but apparently its sticker was hiding out in a dark and long neglected corner of the kitchen floor.  Hiding.  Waiting.  Waiting for my slightly too long pants to come along.  Come along for the sticker to hitch a ride.

My 5’11” status, just short of 6 feet tall, but apparently just right to become a “Human Swiffer.”

Bonus Material – In case you missed it, take a look at the first trailer for this Summer’s upcoming Blockbuster event or better said, “Blogbuster.”  The Blogosphere will never be the same.