Today was my 2^nd anniversary at work.  Now, some people would say, “Really, you haven’t finished up yet?”  Well, yes and no.  I’ve finished up a few things, started some new things, and I am even proud to report that yesterday, I accomplished one task.  Yes, one whole task.  Winning.  Plus, I am a temporary part-time contracted employee, so two years is sort of like five months in full-time regular employee hours, so I really have accomplished a lot in only five months.  And all the people say, “Nice try, Paulsen.”

So I woke up this morning, thinking to myself, “I’m going to head into work and start out ‘Year 3’ by getting a lot done.”  Retrieving the morning newspaper, however, I was suddenly transported back in time.  Back in time by exactly two years to the very day that I started work at my job.  It just so happened that the newspaper ran a story about one of my projects at work on the front page and they inserted their file photo for me (thankfully, below the fold).  The file photo that was taken about 2½ hours after I started my job and was taken with the camera exactly 2½ inches from my face.  A monumentally extreme close-up and easily the worst photo I have ever taken.  It is such a bad photo that it looks like I fell off a truck full of shovels and hit every single one on the way down.  To make matters worse, my co-worker was also pictured in the article and she looks all fabulous and professional, leaving me to look like some hideous cubicle dwelling beast. 

Sorry, I forgot to warn you that I was going to show the photo.  I hope you are still able to sleep tonight.

Oh well, I knew I had a bad file photo so I kind of accept the fact that anytime I appear in the paper it looks like I not only got hit with the ugly stick, but that the whole ugly tree toppled over on top of me.  Ugh.  Get to work and it will get better, or so I thought.  I only planned on working a short time (I am after all a temporary part-time contracted employee, I have my standards you know) and one of my jobs was calling a committee member in Florida.  Ending the call, the individual mentioned to me, “You know you really should get a new file photo.”  Good Lord!  Word of my repulsive photo had made it over 1,700 miles to the south.  My picture was now frightening people across the country.

Meeting my wife for coffee, I asked her, “Am I really as ugly as I appeared in the newspaper?”  Being a good wife, she responded with a gentle reassurance of “No.”  I would have taken “handsome,” but “not ugly” was fine with me.  Then I remembered the proof I needed.  Proof that I was not the Quasimodo of my office building.  There was another photo taken of me the day I started work.  Another photo taken only 3 hours after the first.  Proof that I looked normal.  Proof that I could cling to.

Somehow, after only 3 hours in a productive and professional work environment, I had once again become a normal looking public employee (and a regular looking human being, as well).  My metamorphosis was complete.

So folks, if sometimes ugly parts of your past revisit you, remember there are also plenty of good things in your past as well.  Find those good things, cling to them, and arrange for a new file photo to be taken, because you might as well look fab next time you appear on the front page.